"Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big?" — Mel Brooks, ‘Spaceballs’
Nobody ever tells anyone these things. But I will also keep information like this to myself today since the office is no place for this kind of loose talk. It’s also not a place for me today since it’s sunny and 80 degrees and consequently, leaving before 3 p.m. seems like a moral imperative.
But before that happens, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Britney Spears caused some controversy in Australia this week due to her alleged lip syncing during a concert in Perth.
During the show, about 100 angry fans reportedly stormed out of Britney's concert at the Burswood Dome saying they were disappointed by the lackluster performance and the fact that Spears was lip-synching during her two-hour show. 
If the Perth fans were disappointed that Spears was lip synching, just wait until they find out about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
A judge ordered a woman to stay away from Justin Timberlake for the next three years on Monday after an attorney for the singer argued for the restraining order against Karen McNeil.
Timberlake wrote in court filings that McNeil repeatedly showed up at his house and trespassed on his property last month. McNeil, who represented herself, opposed the court order writing that she thought: she was destined to rule the world and wanted to marry Timberlake so he could rule with her.
I didn’t realize that Karen McNeil was Britney Spears’s real name.
In other judicial news, a California judge granted a temporary restraining order Tuesday barring Jennifer Lopez's first husband from distributing 11 hours of home video footage that allegedly includes sexual situations.
Lopez claims ex-husband Ojani Noa – who she was married to for 11 months in 1997 - is exploiting her private life with the footage and the proposed film - "The J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story.” In court filings, Lopez said she believes the video footage are exploitive and offensive and would "damage her career and reputation.” 
Noa cited ‘Gigli’ as evidence to the judge and claimed that “nothing ever released could be worse or more damaging than that film,” however, the judge ultimately disagreed.
Steven Tyler reportedly quit Aerosmith this week and then returned a few days later.
Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry told the Las Vegas Sun newspaper over the weekend that: “Steven quit as far as I can tell. I don’t know any more than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don’t know.” He also said that the band would look for a replacement if Tyler has quit to “move the Aerosmith vibe up a notch.”
Only a few days later, however, Tyler said that he would remain as singer of the band telling a NY audience: "I just want New York to know that I'm not leaving Aerosmith. The break-up - it just ain't true." 
Perry was very relieved by Tyler’s decision because he said it would be extremely hard to find another Dude who Looks Like a Lady to front the band.
Former Miss California USA Carrie Prejean – who was fired in June for what she believes was her vocal opposition to gay marriage - confirmed the existence of a sex tape this week that she made for an ex-boyfriend several years ago.
Prejean told Fox News on Monday and NBC's "Today" show on Tuesday that she shot the X-rated video of herself alone when she was 17 years old and sent it to a boyfriend. She said: "It was for private use, but does that justify what I did? No. It was the biggest mistake of my life."
Apparently, Prejean has recently added homemade sex tapes right under gay marriage on her list of things she’s against.
In the upcoming December issue of W magazine, Demi Moore says that she prefers the term “Puma” to “Cougar” when it comes to her relationship with Ashton Kutcher.
Moore, 47, tells that magazine that: “I’m certainly not the first person to be in a relationship with a younger man, but somehow I was plucked out as a bit of a poster girl,” “I don’t know why that is. But I just kind of step back sometimes and say, ‘There is some reason, and what is it that I have to share in a positive way?” 
The most positive contribution Moore could make to this scenario would be a permanent retirement of the term ‘Cougar.’
Mike Tyson got into an airport scuffle with a photographer this week that resulted in both men being booked and released on suspicion of misdemeanor battery and both want to press charges against the other.
The photographer, Tony Echevarria, 50, told police that Tyson struck him once opening a cut on his forehead, airport police spokesman Sgt. Jim Holcomb said.
Tyson's spokeswoman Tammy Brook said the boxer was traveling with his wife and 10-month-old child when he was attacked by Echevarria. "Mike acted in self defense as a father protecting his child," she said. 
Echevarria was just lucky that he protected his ears during the altercation.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
It’s not longer beach season, but it’s still nice to be reminded of the sand and the water on occasion. The lack of clothing helps too. So, let your mind wander today, don’t fixate on layering your clothes and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
BDS: I'll be back tonight to comment. I don't have as much free internet reign at my new job! Be back soon.
please tell me that photo of Demi Moore was massively photoshopped. Oh forget it, it doesn't matter she's my poster child for aging.
100 walked out on Britney? I'm surprised she's still selling tickets.
Spaceballs! bwahahahahah. Classic. I may have to put that one on again.
Thanks for the QHF they are a nice way to start the weekend. Have a good one.l
Kymical Reactions - Then quite immediately. Ha. Thanks for the warning & Happy Friday between now & then.
Boxer - I'm sure it was, but she still looks pretty damn good in my humble opinion. But don't forget she has definitely had work done even if she won't admit it. :) I love 'Spaceballs' and apparently, Britney's tour did pretty well (I think). Happy Friday & enjoy the weekend.
What is with all these people and their sex tapes? Don't fall for the "oh baby, nobody will EVER see it" line. lol Idiots.
Aussies are just now catching on to the fact that Britney lip syncs? hhmm
I'm with you on the "Cougar" term. It needs to die. Now.
Have a good, sunny weekend down South!
What are saying about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? Do they lip-synch too?
Jlee - I know. It's an epidemic of stupidity. Ha. I was surprised about Spears too - you could have knocked me over with a feather. And yes, Cougar should have died awhile ago. Happy Friday and enjoy the weather (though it might rain on Sunday I think).
WIGSF - Exactly. That's exactly what I meant. At least when it comes to the Easter Bunny. Santa's got some pipes. Happy Friday.
I think it was noble of Ojani Noa to include his ex-wife in that endeavor. He could have just called it "The Ojani Noa Story" and hogged all the publicity.
My sources tell me Prejean made that video to convert her friend from Homosexuality and spending eternity at the Foot of Satan's Fiery Throne.
Late Heff Friday !
Is it actually supposed to be surprising that Brittany Spears lip syncs ? C'mon, People !!!
I think Timberlake & Karen McNeil should simply come to an agreement. Maybe she could have his dick in a box....
Re : Lopez - You ARE correct sir. Nothing could be more damaging to her career than her last few films.
Aerosmith needs to hang it up, as they haven't written anything worth a shit in decades. Perhaps another fall off a stage will put Tyler on a "Permanent Vacation".
.....Patiently waiting for Donald Trump to approve the Carrie Prejean tape......
Re : Demi Moore - a nice retirement of the term "Ashton Kutcher" would be nice as well...
Mike Tyson can STILL connect a punch ? Damn, that would've been handy during that fight with Lennox Lewis....
And in closing, There's water and sand in those photos ?
Have a great weekend, BDS !!!
Troll Y2K - Ha. Had to laugh at both of these comments, especially the Prejean one. Actually, both were pretty close. Happy Friday. Not sure who the Gators play this weekend, but good luck.
Heff - Glad to see the detail as always, so . . . I know what you mean as I chalk it up to a different continent just not seeing Spears enough, dammit, a Dick in the Box joke would have been good (nice one), thank you on Lopez even though I wouldn't mind seeing that video, nice Permanent Vacation line as I could generally care less about them at this point even though Tyler shouldn't quit that gravy train if he cares about money, Trump has that video locked up tight in his personal library, still laughing about the Kutcher line, it was a photographer so it probably wasn't too difficult to punch him, and look again, there is both water and sand there . . .Happy Friday Heff.
I've got nothing to add. You and/or the other commenters have pretty much covered everything. Nicely done.
Happy Friday!!
Native Minnow - It's a group effort around here. Ha. Happy Friday Minnow.
Nobich - You're early todday. :) Happy Friday to you.
The bible never specifically addresses the self-pleasuring Prejean apparently does in the video. We know MALE masturbation is wrong because of the story of Onan.
Great job as always B. I've never really understood why older women are called cougars anyway. I thought she said she would prefer to be called a puma. I'd prefer to be called tiger but hey we don't always get what we deserve.
Those Aussie fans shouldn't have walked out because Britney lip synched. They should have been grateful. With all the punishment that girl has put her body through I doubt if she could sing worth a damn through all that dancing anyway.
Personally I've never thought Steve Tyler had a womanly appearance. Those close together eyes and enormous wide mouth makes him a shoe in for a role in Planet of the Apes should another version ever be made.
It's good to see you B and I hope you are enjoying your semi break. Have a great weekend.
Not to diss the folks in Aussie land......but they were suprised Brit Brit was lip synching???? Huh???? (my friends cousin LOVES her and calls her Brit Brit just in case you thought I lost it)
Word Verification: mating
Drinky Cow - You are 100% correct . . . I know the story of Onan to be able to cite in that very context, but I had no idea that Prejean did that in the video, so thank you for passing on that knowledge. Ha. Great stuff. Happy Friday.
Gypsy - Great to see you around, and I was hoping for it since there was an Ausssie story here . . . Ha. I agree about Britney as she's always been about dancing anyway as her voice has never been her calling card. Tiger or Puma sounds better to me than Cougar. I'll have to take another look at Tyler as I thought he was rather androygnous (sp?). Finally, hope things have calmed down a bit over your way as I know you were swamped. Happy Friday.
Miss Ash - Brit Brit, eh? Ha. That is some kind of fan. And yeah, I have no idea why anyone would be surprised that she lip synchs during concerts. Best word ver I've heard about in awhile. Ha. Happy Friday Miss Ash.
Late to the party, When I watch live video of Britney, I think I'd rather have her lip synch. Tyler is this week's train wreck-truth bender (hitting for Lohan), followed by Prejean. Thanks for the updates and happy Friday!!
I like the new look. Now do mine.
Diggin' the new template, dude. Very "clean-cut".