2 Dollar Productions

"Everything's illegal in Massachusetts," - Mel Gibson, 'Edge of Darkness'


In a bit of irony, I had 'Edge' in my Netflix queue after last week's QHF flogging of Gibson. It was a decent little movie (not great, not bad), however, it just irritated me that Gibson seems to be such an incredible fuck-knuckle in real life and that is bleeding over to his films now – at least for me. Selah.

Anyway, I don't plan to engage in too many illegal activities this weekend since my parent's are visiting. But before I leave the office by 4:15 p.m., let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan sobbed as she was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab in a Beverly Hills court room this week.

Lohan was in court to explain why she violated probation in a 2007 DUI case by missing weekly alcohol-education classes. She also caused a bit of controversy with her fingernail polish, which seemed to spell out ‘Fuck you.’ Maybe.

"I did everything I was told to do, I thought I was being compliant," Lohan said. "I did do everything I was told to do. ... I'm not taking this as a joke, it's my life and career. I don't want you to think I don't respect you and your terms."


Lohan is going to learn the true meaning of the word “respect” when she’s in prison . . .

But Lohan spent one of her few remaining days as a free woman Twittering that she is the victim of "cruel and unusual punishment."

Lohan also cited Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights and its prohibition against "torture" and "inhuman or degrading treatment."


Actually, “inhuman or degrading treatment” would have entailed being sentenced to watch the last 5 or 6 films that Lohan has starred in.

Last season’s ‘The Bachelor’ couple - Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi – gave their first post-split interview this week and it was ugly.

During a special segment on Monday's "The Bachelorette," Girardi stormed out in tears, called Jake a "fame whore" and for his part, Jake on his own admitted to withholding sex in the relationship for somewhat unexplained and bizarre reasons.


If two crazy kids seeking fame on a television show while simultaneously screwing around with multiple partners in exotic locales can’t make it work these days, then I fear no relationship is strong enough to last the test of time.

Prince told a British newspaper this week that the Internet was “dead” and compared it to MTV to make his point.

"At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated," he told the Mirror. "Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good."


“Except for my neon purple rotating vibrator,” Prince later added.

In other UK news, British singer George Michael was arrested - again -after his car hit a building on a road in north London, police said on Tuesday.

"The man aged in his 40s was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive," a spokesman said. Michael was taken to a north London police station and later bailed out.


The best example of ‘Faith’ currently hovering in the universe rests with the insurance agent who continues to insure Michael’s cars.

Levi Johnston acknowledged telling lies about Sarah Palin and her family this week and apologized. He didn't specify which of his previous statements were not true.

Johnston told People magazine that since his untrue statements were made in public, "I owe it to the Palins to publicly apologize."


But the Palin’s still plan to make inappropriate Johnson jokes behind closed doors.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:




It’s summer and getting outside in nature seems like a moral imperative. So enjoy the elements with or without fabric, soak it all up and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS