2 Dollar Productions

"God, I can't even tell you how much I'm not your little bunny.” – Megan Fox, “Transformers”


God, I wish Megan Fox would have told that same thing to Brian Austin Green, but I’m skipping ahead of myself. Anyway, it’s a long holiday weekend and I plan to spend it where I always do: At my grandparents house, out in the country, with loads of fireworks and even more fried chicken, brisket, potato salad and chiggers. Selah.

It should be a good time . . .

But before I can leave my house (working from home – theoretically), let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

There has been mounting drama between Mel Gibson and his ex, Grigorieva as there were accusations that he had taken out a restraining order against her.

This week, however, Grigorieva said: “There is no restraining order against me, but my lawyers went to court and a judge granted a restraining order against him,” she told the paper. “There are so many lies being said about me. I was trying to keep things dignified and be respectful to the father of my daughter, but what he is doing is cruelty.”


To which Gibson responded with: “Cruelty, you don’t know what cruelty is sugar tits. Not until you’ve been split open from the groin in front of a large crowd of spectators while you cry out for Freedom.”

{Editor’s Note: Go rent ‘Braveheart’ if the above makes no sense to you.}

That was a semi-funny story until later in the week when reports surfaced that Gibson had hurled loads of racist/misogynist/despicable insults at Oksana Grigorieva and she recorded them somehow.

According to Radaronline, a few of them were:

* "You're an embarrassment to me," Mel told her at one point. "You look like a f---ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n-------, it will be your fault."

* "How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f----ing nice."

* "I am going to come and burn the f---ing house down ... but you will [have oral sex with] me first."

A rep for Gibson didn't immediately comment.


This is no longer a funny story even if the blowjob in a burning house threat is a somewhat amusing image.

Megan Fox actually married Brian Austin Green as it was confirmed this week that the pair got hitched in Hawaii.

Green's 8-year-old son, Kassius, attended the small, private ceremony held at the Four Seasons hotel on Hawaii's Big Island.


I tried desperately to attend the nuptials - mostly so I could shout out my objections when that part came up - however, the security detail in Hawaii was far more stringent than I anticipated.

Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil was arrested Monday morning on suspicion of a DUI in Las Vegas, TMZ reported.

Neil was arrested and taken to the Clark County Jail with bail set at $2,000.


Neil kept screaming at the officers “Stop killing Dr. Feelgood’s buzz you bunch of pigs,” which didn’t help his case at all.

Sandra Bullock finalized her divorce from Jesse James this week as the duo signed their divorce papers in Texas, TMZ.com reported.

Bullock filed for divorce on April 23 a month after tabloid reports began to circulate that James slept with Michelle (Bombshell) McGee. Despite their separation, James told TMZ.com last week that he is moving to Austin, TX, so that his three kids can continue their relationship with Bullock.


His kids might be around Bullock, however, the divorce papers clearly stipulated that she will “no longer be known to anyone as Jesse’s Girl.”

Larry King announced this week that he will end his 25 year run as the host of “Larry King Live” later this year.

"I said, 'I can't top this,' " King recalled in an interview Tuesday. "I'm not getting younger. I want more time with other things. It's time to go."


King plans to spend most of his impending free time searching for vintage suspenders and sleeping with younger women.

{Editor’s Note: I really hope King signs off his last show by saying “It’s good to be the King.”}

Britney Spears has designed her first collection of clothing and accessories for the Iconix Brand Group Inc's Candie's brand .

The juniors' collection, called "Britney for Candie's," will be sold exclusively in Kohl's Department stores.

"Designing was a really fun, new way for me to express my creativity and I really wanted to create something by me for my fans," Spears said in a statement.


My hope is that the entire collection will be variations on Britney’s schoolgirl outfits from her “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video.

Steve Carell told E! Online this past week that he will be leaving the TV show “The Office” after its upcoming seventh season concludes.

"I just think it's time," Carell told E! "I want to fulfill my contract. When I first signed on I had a contract for seven seasons, and this coming year is my seventh. I just thought it was time for my character to go."


Apparently there is not a shred of awkwardness left that Carell can wring out of that character, which is probably a good thing.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:




A little bit arty can be enjoyable if administered in the proper doses. So, enjoy the holiday weekend, don’t bit off more than you can chew and . . . Happy Friday and Happy 4th of July weekend Everyone!

-BDS