“Dying ain’t much of a way to make a living son,” – Clint Eastwood, ‘The Outlaw Josey Wales”
Amen. I could probably run Eastwood movie quotes for the remainder of the year and not exhaust them, however, that one came to mind this week for some reason or another.
Anyway, I don’t feel like my expiration tag is up today, and instead, plan to get my work done and hit the door by 4 p.m. and finally catch ‘Inception.’ But before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
I can’t really keep track of the Mel Gibson tapes anymore, but the latest one this week had him disparaging ex James Bond actor Timothy Dalton, among other things.
Dalton had previously dated Gibson ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.
“Did you get my last message about me being a bad father and Tim being a great dad?” Gibson allegedly asks Grigorieva. “You didn’t hear that one? Well, you should go (expletive) him because I don’t care,” he says.
Gibson finished the rant by explicitly suggesting that Oksana go have sex with another man in front of her 12-year-old son, Sascha.
It’s amazing to be able to watch the human brain unravel right before your eyes (and mostly your ears).
If it’s not Gibson in the news, it’s Lindsay Lohan, and this week Lohan was looking at her post-jail sentence, which is a mandatory three months in rehab.
Prosecutors confirmed Tuesday that Lohan must report to an L.A.-based rehab facility 24 hours after her release from jail, which likely will be Sunday or Monday. Her attorney, however, was concerned that "there's a push now for her to go directly to rehab from jail."
Whereas Lohan would strongly prefer to go directly from jail to the nearest bar or nightclub.
Kanye West joined Twitter this week, which was apparently news for some reason or another. It was obviously a slow week.
West also premiered upcoming songs at the Facebook headquarters in Palo Alto, CA.
"I've been writing new stuff for the new album and I've just got a couple raps that I really like, so I thought it'd be cool just to say them for you all," Kanye said at the HQ. 
Wonderful - if there’s one thing that Kanye West has been lacking for years it is more social forums to talk about himself. Just ask Taylor Swift.
Isaiah Mustafa – the star of the popular ‘Old Spice’ television commericals – announced this week that he has landed a role in a forthcoming Jennifer Anniston movie.
Mustafa will join the cast of the film "Horrible Bosses," starring Aniston, Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Jason Sudeikis and Jason Bateman, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
There’s no word about whether or not Mustafa will be on a horse in the film.
{Editor’s Note: If you haven’t seen the commercials then the above comment makes absolutely no sense. It also shows the dearth of news stories this week. Selah.}
Amanda Bynes, who last month retired from acting via Twitter at the ripe old age of 24, came out of retirement just this week. Amazing.
Bynes Tweeted: "I'm unretired.” That was all. 
Bynes was driven to return to the workforce when she was repeatedly turned away from the Early Bird Special lines at restaurants near her condo in South Florida.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
A little oil and bare skin feels right this time of year. So, apply lubrication liberally today, be careful not to slide too far from shore and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend.}
“You got a joint man? It’d be a lot cooler if you did,” - Matthew McConaughey, ‘Dazed and Confused’ 
That movie is terrifically underrated and it might be McConaughey’s first and best role to date, although how much of it was purely acting is certainly debatable.
Anyway, I’ve got tons of obligations this weekend – classes and parties and chores – but before I hit the door by 4:10 p.m, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Lindsay Lohan surrendered Tuesday for a 90-day jail sentence that is likely to be whittled down by overcrowding and other credits.
Lohan was sentenced to jail, three months in rehab and increased scrutiny by probation officials on July 6 after Lohan violated her probation by missing mandatory alcohol education classes.
Her lawyer – Shawn Chapman Holley – was her first visitor, and told People magazine: “Understandably, Lindsay's having a difficult time adjusting as it would be for anyone . . . There were some tears."
Unfortunately, Lohan tried to bottle and drink her tears because they smelled like vodka, however, prison guards ultimately restrained her.
A temporary restraining order was granted to Jennifer Aniston this week against a man who authorities allege traveled cross-country in a delusional attempt to marry her.
Court documents show that police detained Jason R. Peyton last week after finding him with a sharp object, duct tape and love notes to the "Friends" star. The 24-year-old was placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold by Los Angeles police.
The court filings also stated that Peyton has said he won't stop his pursuit of Aniston.
Peyton would if he watched ‘The Bounty Hunter.’ Or ‘Love Happens.’ Or ‘Rumor Has It.’ Or . . . really any of her movies outside of ‘The Good Girl.’
The cast of "Jersey Shore" went on a mini-strike this week as they refused to shoot scenes for a third season of the MTV series but then later reached a deal with MTV to continue the series, according to reports.
The cast will now reportedly earn between $20,000 - $30,000 per episode. 
The cast had originally asked to be paid in tanning beds, hair gel, and waxing strips because “that’s as good – no better than money - yo!”
New York City police arrested rapper-actor Ice-T on accusations of driving with a suspended license this week.
Police stopped him for not wearing a seat belt, and ran a check and discovered his license was suspended and he had expired insurance. Ice-T was taken into custody and released soon afterward.
But he was not happy about it, and Twittered afterwards: "Some punk bitch rookie cop named Fisher #10026 made the arrest of his bullshit career today. Arresting the Notorious Ice-T for no seat belt." 
I believe that Ice T is suffering from delusions of grandeur, and besides, is there anything less gangster than being arrested for not wearing a seatbelt? Maybe jaywalking.
Katy Perry unveiled the cover of her upcoming album this week: an image pulled from a recently completed Will Cotton painting of Perry lying nude on a cotton-candy cloud.
"I have decided for this to be just the album cover — no print, no nothing, no 'Katy Perry,' " she added. "Hopefully they know it's me by the actual picture."
The album notes will also smell like cotton candy when opened, Perry announced. 
Perry didn’t announce, however, if the album will be as sticky as she often appears to be.
"Victoria's Secret" model Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom recently were married in a secret ceremony, their reps confirmed this week. 
I suppose if I was marrying Bloom I would keep it a secret too.
As always, let's end with a gold image or two:
One a bit high brow and the other a little tackier, however, I refuse to discriminate. So, enjoy the range of differences today, don't get bogged down by the heat and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
"Ain't remembering wonderful," Jeff Bridges, 'Crazy Heart'
Great line, great performance by Bridges, but in the end, only a pretty good movie - at least for me. And I like that kind of music. Selah.
Anyway, I don’t plan on remembering a whole lot this weekend as I am hosting a sprawling movie night screening of ‘Dazed and Confused’ at my loft tonight (along with the appropriate party favors) before heading out for an overnight trip to San Antonio with Mrs. $2 Dollar the following day (and I don’t plan to Remember the Alamo per se during that trip).
But before I leave the office by 4:10 pm today to ensure I place my pizza and cupcake order for the screening tonight, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Roman Polanksi was declared a free man this week when the Swiss government rejected a U.S. request to extradite him on a charge of having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl.
"The 76-year-old French-Polish film director Roman Polanski will not be extradited to the USA," the ministry said in a statement. "The freedom-restricting measures against him have been revoked."
The Justice Ministry also said that “national interests” were taken into consideration in the decision.
The thing that wasn’t taken into account: Polanski’s extreme interest in underage girls.
A lawyer who met with Lindsay Lohan said this week that the actress still isn't fully aware of her dire jail situation.
"My impression of Lindsay is that she's a fragile lost child – a sleeping beauty with her head in the sand. I found her not fully forewarned of the consequence of her actions," Stuart V. Goldberg, who was contacted by Lohan after her attorney resigned said.
Maybe it’s Goldberg who needs help since Lohan ha neither slept nor been a beauty for many years thanks to all the drugs and partying.
Edward Norton was dropped from his role as The Incredible Hulk this week as the actor was due to reprise his role for ‘The Avengers’ movie, which has yet to be filmed.
Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige suggested that Norton wasn't a team player and wouldn't have worked as part of the movie's ensemble cast. Edward Norton's agent calls Marvel statement "unprofessional, disingenuous and clearly defamatory" 
Norton’s agent also stated: “Don’t make him angry, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.”
The Mel Gibson saga continued this week as The William Morris Endeavor agency dropped the actor as a client, and then later, other tapes were leaked where Gibson threatened ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and later disparaged Hispanics by using the term ‘wetback.’ Clear?
RadarOnline.com, posted an eight-minute phone argument between Gibson and Grigorieva where a voice that sounds like Gibson’s is heard telling Grigorieva that she "deserved" to be hit after she chastised him for allegedly punching her in the face and breaking two of her teeth.
Alan Nierob, a spokesman for Gibson, declined comment on the tape.
Who knew that the ‘Lethal Weapon’ in Mel’s career would be his mouth, eh?
John Stamos took the stand this week in his extortion trial (two people are accussed of blackmailing the actor for money) to discuss allegations of cocaine and strippers.
Defense attorney Sarah Henderson says Coss (defendant) and a pal (allegedly both strippers) went to the actor's hotel room with a bag of cocaine and took pics of him bending over a table where the drugs were. Stamos later offered oral sex, but Coss declined.
The “Full House” star admitted that he met Coss at Pleasure Island in Orlandho, however, prosecutors said that no photos exist.
Uncle Jesse – we hardly knew ye . . .
Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz tied the knot in the Bahamas earlier this month, their publicist confirmed this week.
The wedding took place at a friend's house, and was a small ceremony with just family members present. 
I’ve got no joke for Cruz and Bardem as I kind of dig them as both actors and as a couple.
In less interesting matrimonial news, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston said they're engaged and hope to get married within six weeks in Alaska.
Palin is featured on the cover of the current Us Weekly with Johnston, holding their 18-month-old son, Tripp. They told they reconnected while working out a custody plan and became engaged two weeks ago.
Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, said in a statement on NBC's "Today" show Tuesday that they want what's best for their children and that Bristol believes in "redemption and forgiveness."
The statement continued: "Personally, we believe in castration, however, we will accept Bristol's and the good Lord's judgement in this matter. Amen."
As always, let’s end with a gold image or three: 
I feel like I've been running behind all week, so these pics seemed appropriate. I suppose. So get your ass in gear today, be careful of strangers on the balconey and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
"Everything's illegal in Massachusetts," - Mel Gibson, 'Edge of Darkness'
In a bit of irony, I had 'Edge' in my Netflix queue after last week's QHF flogging of Gibson. It was a decent little movie (not great, not bad), however, it just irritated me that Gibson seems to be such an incredible fuck-knuckle in real life and that is bleeding over to his films now – at least for me. Selah.
Anyway, I don't plan to engage in too many illegal activities this weekend since my parent's are visiting. But before I leave the office by 4:15 p.m., let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Lindsay Lohan sobbed as she was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab in a Beverly Hills court room this week.
Lohan was in court to explain why she violated probation in a 2007 DUI case by missing weekly alcohol-education classes. She also caused a bit of controversy with her fingernail polish, which seemed to spell out ‘Fuck you.’ Maybe.
"I did everything I was told to do, I thought I was being compliant," Lohan said. "I did do everything I was told to do. ... I'm not taking this as a joke, it's my life and career. I don't want you to think I don't respect you and your terms." 
Lohan is going to learn the true meaning of the word “respect” when she’s in prison . . .
But Lohan spent one of her few remaining days as a free woman Twittering that she is the victim of "cruel and unusual punishment."
Lohan also cited Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights and its prohibition against "torture" and "inhuman or degrading treatment." 
Actually, “inhuman or degrading treatment” would have entailed being sentenced to watch the last 5 or 6 films that Lohan has starred in.
Last season’s ‘The Bachelor’ couple - Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi – gave their first post-split interview this week and it was ugly.
During a special segment on Monday's "The Bachelorette," Girardi stormed out in tears, called Jake a "fame whore" and for his part, Jake on his own admitted to withholding sex in the relationship for somewhat unexplained and bizarre reasons.
If two crazy kids seeking fame on a television show while simultaneously screwing around with multiple partners in exotic locales can’t make it work these days, then I fear no relationship is strong enough to last the test of time.
Prince told a British newspaper this week that the Internet was “dead” and compared it to MTV to make his point.
"At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated," he told the Mirror. "Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good."
“Except for my neon purple rotating vibrator,” Prince later added.
In other UK news, British singer George Michael was arrested - again -after his car hit a building on a road in north London, police said on Tuesday.
"The man aged in his 40s was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive," a spokesman said. Michael was taken to a north London police station and later bailed out. 
The best example of ‘Faith’ currently hovering in the universe rests with the insurance agent who continues to insure Michael’s cars.
Levi Johnston acknowledged telling lies about Sarah Palin and her family this week and apologized. He didn't specify which of his previous statements were not true.
Johnston told People magazine that since his untrue statements were made in public, "I owe it to the Palins to publicly apologize." 
But the Palin’s still plan to make inappropriate Johnson jokes behind closed doors.
As always, let's end with a gold image or three:
It’s summer and getting outside in nature seems like a moral imperative. So enjoy the elements with or without fabric, soak it all up and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
"God, I can't even tell you how much I'm not your little bunny.” – Megan Fox, “Transformers”
God, I wish Megan Fox would have told that same thing to Brian Austin Green, but I’m skipping ahead of myself. Anyway, it’s a long holiday weekend and I plan to spend it where I always do: At my grandparents house, out in the country, with loads of fireworks and even more fried chicken, brisket, potato salad and chiggers. Selah.
It should be a good time . . .
But before I can leave my house (working from home – theoretically), let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
There has been mounting drama between Mel Gibson and his ex, Grigorieva as there were accusations that he had taken out a restraining order against her.
This week, however, Grigorieva said: “There is no restraining order against me, but my lawyers went to court and a judge granted a restraining order against him,” she told the paper. “There are so many lies being said about me. I was trying to keep things dignified and be respectful to the father of my daughter, but what he is doing is cruelty.”
To which Gibson responded with: “Cruelty, you don’t know what cruelty is sugar tits. Not until you’ve been split open from the groin in front of a large crowd of spectators while you cry out for Freedom.”
{Editor’s Note: Go rent ‘Braveheart’ if the above makes no sense to you.}
That was a semi-funny story until later in the week when reports surfaced that Gibson had hurled loads of racist/misogynist/despicable insults at Oksana Grigorieva and she recorded them somehow.
According to Radaronline, a few of them were:
* "You're an embarrassment to me," Mel told her at one point. "You look like a f---ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n-------, it will be your fault."
* "How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f----ing nice."
* "I am going to come and burn the f---ing house down ... but you will [have oral sex with] me first."
A rep for Gibson didn't immediately comment. 
This is no longer a funny story even if the blowjob in a burning house threat is a somewhat amusing image.
Megan Fox actually married Brian Austin Green as it was confirmed this week that the pair got hitched in Hawaii.
Green's 8-year-old son, Kassius, attended the small, private ceremony held at the Four Seasons hotel on Hawaii's Big Island. 
I tried desperately to attend the nuptials - mostly so I could shout out my objections when that part came up - however, the security detail in Hawaii was far more stringent than I anticipated.
Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil was arrested Monday morning on suspicion of a DUI in Las Vegas, TMZ reported.
Neil was arrested and taken to the Clark County Jail with bail set at $2,000.
Neil kept screaming at the officers “Stop killing Dr. Feelgood’s buzz you bunch of pigs,” which didn’t help his case at all.
Sandra Bullock finalized her divorce from Jesse James this week as the duo signed their divorce papers in Texas, TMZ.com reported.
Bullock filed for divorce on April 23 a month after tabloid reports began to circulate that James slept with Michelle (Bombshell) McGee. Despite their separation, James told TMZ.com last week that he is moving to Austin, TX, so that his three kids can continue their relationship with Bullock.
His kids might be around Bullock, however, the divorce papers clearly stipulated that she will “no longer be known to anyone as Jesse’s Girl.”
Larry King announced this week that he will end his 25 year run as the host of “Larry King Live” later this year.
"I said, 'I can't top this,' " King recalled in an interview Tuesday. "I'm not getting younger. I want more time with other things. It's time to go."
King plans to spend most of his impending free time searching for vintage suspenders and sleeping with younger women.
{Editor’s Note: I really hope King signs off his last show by saying “It’s good to be the King.”}
Britney Spears has designed her first collection of clothing and accessories for the Iconix Brand Group Inc's Candie's brand .
The juniors' collection, called "Britney for Candie's," will be sold exclusively in Kohl's Department stores.
"Designing was a really fun, new way for me to express my creativity and I really wanted to create something by me for my fans," Spears said in a statement.
My hope is that the entire collection will be variations on Britney’s schoolgirl outfits from her “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video.
Steve Carell told E! Online this past week that he will be leaving the TV show “The Office” after its upcoming seventh season concludes.
"I just think it's time," Carell told E! "I want to fulfill my contract. When I first signed on I had a contract for seven seasons, and this coming year is my seventh. I just thought it was time for my character to go."
Apparently there is not a shred of awkwardness left that Carell can wring out of that character, which is probably a good thing.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:
A little bit arty can be enjoyable if administered in the proper doses. So, enjoy the holiday weekend, don’t bit off more than you can chew and . . . Happy Friday and Happy 4th of July weekend Everyone!
-BDS
