2 Dollar Productions

So, I have recently returned from a much deserved vacation to see some old friends out in the Tampa area, and I believe three stories stand out the most in my mind. This is impressive that I can actually remember three, given the fact that my mind was raped and pillaged by a band of miniature Visigoths, who attacked in the name of the God of Hops so as to bring the whole landscape of my skull under the dominion of their Overlord, King Drunkor....but I digress.

First Ponytails:

While at a local bar where shockingly there was an older gentleman covering Jimmy Buffet tunes, my friend Peyton and I decided to do some good ol' 2-steppin' for a bit. Being the only ones on the dance floor, the singer decided to poll our opinion of his performance:

Singer: "So how do you guys like the set."
Me: " It's fine."
Peyton: "All I know is, your ponytail makes your mustache very, very sexy."

Next Puns:

Peyton decided that our friend Grant and I should take a picture in front of a statue that was shaped like a lion.

Peyton: "No, take a picture with the statue."
Me: "But if do that, when I tell people I went to Florida, they'll say I'm lyin'
Grant: "That joke really hurt my pride."
Me: "I knew that would be your main objection to the joke."
Peyton: "Would you guys calm down. It's not a real lion. Only a simba-lized version."

At this point we all began to lose it and I began to wonder how in the hell any one of us convinced even the homeliest of people to sleep with us.

And finally Harry Potter:

During the trip, Grant and I were staying at Peyton's Mother's apartment, which is very much like a half-way house for Peyton and her mother's friends. So, when Grant and I concluded the night's festivities, we were forced to sleep on the living room. After I laid down for what seemed like 5, maybe 6, seconds, I awake to some girl/boy, in glasses, standing over me, speaking to some gentlemen on the coach.

Girl/Boy: "Yeah, I'm telling you this guy looks like Clay Aiken."
I blink eyes blearily for a moment in order to help my mind process that this is actually happening

Girl/Boy: "Yep. Definately looks like Clay, but I think Clay could probably kick his ass."
I blink again to make absolutely sure that I have been awakened by a total stranger who is equating me with some no-talent ass-clown from some worthless reality show.
So I turn to the gentlemen on the couch because he seems to know this curiously irritating person.

Me: "Ummm, why is Harry Potter here and ummm why is he insulting me?"
At this point, what turned out to a SHE, told me what I could go do with myself and stormed out of the apartment.

Me: "Wow, that little wizard sure has a temper."

The End:

The trip gave me some much needed relaxation to be sure and it also helped to remind me that there are humorous things all around us...I just hope that I can find a few in the script once we get done with it.

-JWS