"I should have been a farmer, Red" - Wllford Brimley, 'The Natural' 
Most people - or at least myself - only know Brimley as the oatmeal man, but he was pretty damn good in the 'Natural,' which I just watched on Blu Ray this week. He wasn't too shabby in 'The Firm' either.
I wish I was feeling more Natural and less toxic this morning, however, I went to Happy Hour with old colleagues yesterday, so this morning is mildly fuzzy. These things happen.
Anyway, before I can hit the office door by 4:30 p.m., let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Lindsay Lohan found herself back in court Wednesday after her alcohol-detection bracelet alarm sounded Sunday - the night Lohan was attending the MTV Movie Awards.
Judge Marsha Revel issued an arrest warrant for Lohan, and to avoid being detained, Lohan posted a $200,000 bail. Revel did not provide any specifics other than to say Lohan violated a court order not to consume alcohol and to wear an alcohol-detection device.
Anyone betting the under on one month of Lohan sobriety following the ankle monitor officially wins their office pool (I had one week).
In other MTV Movie award news, Sandra Bullock made headlines at the show when she appeared onstage with Scarlett Johanson and the pair shared a kiss.
"It was a preplanned, scripted kiss the producers knew about - and it was Sandra's camp's idea," said a show insider. 
Well, I've been planning my Johanson kiss for many, many years and it's going to blow Bullock's out of the water.
{Editor's Note: I probably should have refrained from writing the previous sentence due to future legal ramifications. Selah.}
It seems that the Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt divorce might be more than a publicity stunt as Montag filed for separation from Spencer Pratt on Tuesday.
She cited irreconcilable differences in a court document submitted Tuesday in Santa Monica, Calif.
I would have cited being married to an incomparable douchebag if I was filing the papers, but I guess the end result is the same thing.
Miley Cyrus caused some controversy - again - this week when she simulated a lesbian kiss with a back-up dancer on stage during a performance of her song 'Can't be Tamed' on the "Britain's Got Talent" TV show.
Cyrus defended her performance on her blog wrote: “it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant (sic) even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story.” 
I guess 'rocking out' and 'making out' are one and the same for Cyrus.
In bizarre pairing news, Elton John sang at Rush Limbaugh's fourth wedding this past weekend.
Limbaugh, 59, married Kathryn Rogers, 33, in Palm Beach. John was reportedly paid $1 million dollars for the performance. 
Limbaugh's wife was reportedly paid $5 million to marry the bloated, old gasbag.
Alanis Morissette married Grammy-winning rapper MC Souleye at an intimate ceremony at their Los Angeles home, People reported this week.
Morissette wrote on her Twitter and Facebook accounts: “Hi guys! So happy to share with you that my man Souleye and I got married. We’re very excited to embark on this journey with each other.”
Isn't it 'Ironic' that Morrisette - a pop singer - would marry a rapper? No, it's not and neither is the stuff in Morrisette's song 'Ironic,' which has been bothering me for years.
While promoting her new movie 'Grown Ups' this week, Salma Hayek freaked out on camera when a snake appeared during her interview.
Sitting with co-stars Maya Rudolph and Mario Bello, Hayek jerked around and looked terrified as her fellow actors looked on and the snake was corralled off camera. 
This is only barely a story (despite being reported on extensively - seriously), but I'll take any flimsy excuse I can to post the above picture of Hayek in 'From Dusk Till Dawn.'
And that Alanis Morrissette is vaguely ironic . . . because Hayek shot to fame with a sexy dance with a snake in that movie, and now, she seems absolutely terrified of them.
As always, let's end with a gold image or three:
Sometimes it's a bottoms up kind of day, and that's exactly how this one is shaping up. So, don't go chasing your tail today, relax at home or abroad and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend as I am woefully behind - Again.}
There is no excuse too flimsy to show a pic of Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn. Hot-cha-cha-cha!
Happy Friday!
My oldest two kids were in a movie with Wilford Brimley. Sure, they were just extras, but they were featured extras (because we were friends with the Producer's assistant) so their names are in the credits, and therefore on IMDB.
I'm surprised Lindsay made it as long as she did.
My roommate's son was watching those awards, and I walked upstairs just before the Bullock - Johanson kiss. Curse my intolerance for awards shows.
I don't think there's a box for "incomparable douchebag" on the divorce papers.
I would like to "rock out" with Charlize Theron someday. Using the Miley Cyrus definition of course.
The fact that anyone finds Rush Limbaugh tolerable enough to marry (let alone four people) is disturbing to say the least. How am I single again?
The first thing that came to my mind for Alanis Morissette was the song that sings "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, etc." and I don't even think that's her song. Ha!
The best joke I saw about the Salma Hayek thing was on someone's Twitter page: "Salma Hayek sees snake and becomes (even more) unintelligible.
I'm on my way to my baby sister's wedding today. Unfortunately, there won't be any women like in those gold images there. All her friends (read bridesmaids) are already married.
I still think the divorce of Barbie and Ken is a fake.
Have a great weekend. Mr. Boxer was in Austin last weekend and said it's a great place.
Montag and Pratt have always caused me to be disproportionately disgusted. Maybe their divorce means they're going away soon?
Personally, I'm still waiting for Miley Cyrus to rock out at all. She may sing; she doesn't rock.
Elton...*shakes head*...oh Elton...just...no...
Bottom's up to you too & Happy Friday!!
I didn't get the memo, so I'm late. Hey, Look at the time ! I'm goin' home !!!
WIGSF - That is generally my thinking as well. She's never looked better than in 'Dusk' in my opinion. Happy Friday WIGSF.
Native Minnow - No way . . . that is pretty damn cool. I wonder if Brimley is super nice or a crusty, mean man in real life. Anyway, Lohan is going to jail it's only a matter of when, I haven't watched the MTV shows in years even though I keep vaguely meaning to re-start, there should be a checkbox for that one, of course, although Theron seems to have disappeared these past few years, Limbaugh has tons of money which helps, I don't think so either but you're more of a music buff than I am, that is a great line about Hayek & enjoy the wedding nonetheless. Happy Friday Minnow.
Boxer - That's very cool for Mr. Boxer even though he was subjected to some terrible heat, but then again, it's summer down here, so . . . and yeah, you could definitely be right about Speidi. I'd flip a coin. Happy Friday Boxer.
Bostonpobble - I really loathe them myself, and I hate myself for hating them so much. Ha. It's disproportionate (sp?) to their impact on society as a whole. As for Elton, I'm guessing he is a lavish spender so he just flat-out needed the money. Happy Friday Pobble.
Nobich - Bottom's up indeed and Happy Friday to you.
Heff - What memo? It's Friday dammit . . . that's the memo. Ha. That's OK, Happy Friday Heff - enjoy it.
I wasted two hours watching From Dusk till Dawn and now I just wasted one second reading about it :P
Happy Friday!
Nothing all that shocking or funny about the fake celebrity same sex kisses, never got that one. Lohan just continues to act like a kook. Love how her Mother is playing the "everyone is crazy and liars" card too. Guess she learned it somewhere. Hope you are having a good weekend. Happy belated Friday!!
lol Miss Ash! (I concur...)
It's good to see you are getting to leave early on Fridays again. Nice work there.
I am so tired of hearing about Lohan I could puke. That's all I got on a Sunday. Hope you had a good one :)
Ok...just making sure there's not a "Quick Hit Thursday" up.