{This is the 31st entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits. This past weekend, I endured sun and rain and mud and drank my way through a plethora of Heineken Keg cans at the ACL Festival, which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}
• All women look sexier covered with sweat than drenched with water
• Nobody looks sexy while wearing a poncho
• Learn how to take a punch, but only utilize the skill on rare occasions
• Even if it’s being sold, wine has no place at a music festival – beer or water are the only reasonable choices
• Gate Security never pats you down well enough to find a few tightly rolled joints
• There are absolutely no winners, but women truly get a raw deal when it comes to port-a-pots
• You’ll never discover how all the bruises and sore muscles occurred the night before when you wake up the following morning
• Unless you’re younger than 25 years old, then it’s not worth fighting your way right in front of the stage
• Join in during an impromptu group dance session, but stay out of a freshly formed Mosh Pit
• Much like prison, cigarettes work as a particular kind of currency that is valuable even if you don’t smoke
• Never order food that requires utensils in order to be eaten
• Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him. – Mark Twain
-BDS
“Pain don’t hurt,” – Patrick Swayze, “Road House”
Pain might not hurt according to Swayze’s Zen bouncer, but I know I’m going to hurt after spending 3 days prowling around the Austin City Limits music festival. I’m at work for the time being, but the first act I want to see starts at 3:30 p.m., so I’ll be cutting out early to wade through traffic and find a parking spot.
Before that happens, however, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Director Roman Polanski is still in a Swiss jail after Swiss police arrested him Saturday on an international warrant as he arrived in Zurich to receive a lifetime achievement award from a film festival.
Authorities in Los Angeles consider Polanski a "convicted felon and fugitive." The director had pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl. He was sent to prison for 42 days but then the judge tried to renege on the plea bargain. On the day of his sentencing in 1978, aware the judge would sentence him to more prison time, Polanski fled to France.
Polanski has told Swiss officials that he will contest a U.S. request that he be transferred to the United States, attorney Herve Temime said in an e-mail.
"He was shocked, dumbfounded, but he is in a fighting mood and he is very determined to defend himself," Temime said.
Hopefully Polanski will be in a fighting mood when he gets to prison because I’ve read that sleeping with underage girls doesn’t win you much prestige in the joint.
The breakdown of the marriage reality stars Jon and Kate Gosselin forced producers to change the name of the show this week to "Kate Plus 8".
The reality show now called "Jon & Kate Plus 8" will change its name on November 2 to reflect the couple's divorce, which was filed for in June.
"Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family," said Eileen O'Neill, president and general manager of TLC, the cable channel that airs the show.
Meanwhile, Jon is shopping his own show called “Jon Plus Whatever Attention-Seeking Strumpet Will Date My Lame Ass For A Fleeting Shot At Fame,” a title which is far less succinct than Kate’s.
Rumors that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have broken up were met with denials this week as it’s unclear whether the couple is together or not.
New photographs of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel walking hand-in-hand in Califonia appeared on Monday, the same day two magazine reports suggested the couple's relationship was over. Us Weekly claimed Timberlake ended his three-year relationship with the actress during a phone call back in August while Star magazine claimed the singer was pursuing a relationship with Rihanna.
Spokespeople for both stars are not commenting, but a production staffer on ''The A-Team,'' the film Biel is making in Vancouver, British Columbia, says, ''Jessica is really upset by this [breakup] story surfacing again.''
So far, the calls made to Biel's publicist by $2 Dollar Productions offering a shoulder to cry on and a revenge lay have gone unanswered.
Madonna appeared on ‘The David Letterman Show’ this week and told the host that she would never marry again after her 8-year marriage to British director Guy Ritchie ended last year.
"I think I'd rather get run over by a train," Madonna said when David Letterman asked her if she'd ever marry again.
I believe that train thought is British slang, which loosely translated, means “I’d rather sleep with my 21-year-old back-up dancers for the rest of my life.”
"Saturday Night Live" started their new season with an F-bomb being dropped on live television.
Newcomer Jenny Slate let the word slip during a parody of a talk show by biker women, a sketch that boasted tough talk from its participants, played by Slate, Kristen Wiig and guest host Megan Fox.
"You know what? You stood up for yourself," Slate declared, "and I (expletive) love you for that."
Unfortunately, the FCC fucking loves to give fines for that, so SNL can look forward to a hefty one soon enough.
Hugh Jackman recently broke character in his Broadway play – ‘A Steady Rain’ co-starring Daniel Craig – to chastise an audience member when a cell phone call interrupted the show.
An amaeteur video was shot during the show, and in it, Jackman breaks character to tell the owner of the ringing cell phone, "You want to get that?" as the audience erupts in cheers. As the ringing persists, Jackman pleads: "Come on, just turn it off." Jackman prowled the stage until the ringing eventually stopped, then he resumed the performance. 
Jackman would have had better luck stopping the call if he flashed his Wolverine claws at the offender.
Tori Spelling was rushed to the hospital twice in two days this week with severe abdominal pain.
The reality star went to a hospital in LA on Monday night but was released hours later. She was rushed back the following day by husband Dean McDermott when the pain returned. McDermott wrote on Twitter: ”Just out of the hospital. After a battery of tests, no conclusive answers. She still feels terrible. Hope it passes soon. She's in a lot of pain."
Doctors are working under the theory that Spelling’s pain was the direct result of watching a marathon of ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ shows from late in the series.
In other hospital news, Dennis Hopper was taken to a hospital this week after developing flulike symptoms.
Sheila Feren said that the 73-year-old star of "Easy Rider" and "Blue Velvet" was being examined at an unidentified New York hospital Wednesday afternoon after complaining of stomach ailments usually associated with the flu.
At press time, it was unclear whether Hopper watched the same ‘90210’ marathon as Spelling, but the link cannot be ignored, according to Doctors.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
These images are a good summation for me because I am a little tired and could fall asleep yet I will still be walking around for the forseeable future. So, enjoy prowling or sleeping, always maintain good posture with either endeavor and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
It’s only 2 days until the Austin City Limits music festival starts again, and I’ll be roaming the grass at Zilker Park this weekend, much like I have for the past four years running.
The schedules have been set for weeks, and I plan to hear acts such: Kings of Leon, Dave Matthews Band, Todd Snider, The Scabs, Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears, Pearl Jam, Reckless Kelly, Mos Def, and Flogging Molly. 
I might catch up with the Arctic Monkeys, Thievery Corporation, Ben Harper and Relentless 7, Ghostland Observatory, the Decemberists, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs because I’ve heard of these bands even if I’ve never actually heard their music. The rest of the acts are a mystery to me as I get less and less involved with popular music with each passing year.
The weather is even supposed to cooperate as it will be in the mid-80s versus the typical 100 degree heat of past years. I only wish I were more excited about the whole thing, but mainly, I’m getting tired of having things to do on the weekends as I’m in the middle of a six-week long run of scheduled events and even if most have been enjoyable, I still prefer to space out obligatory weekend gobblers versus having them run consecutively. 
This irritation might put me in the minority, however, I tend to go out of my way to avoid back-to-back weekends with planned events much less six week’s worth of filler. It’s hard to bitch when those have been consumed with baseball and football games, visits from friends and family and now an ACL show that will be definitely be fun, although I am already looking forward to the middle of October when I can find a weekend with absolutely no obligations except the ones I impose on myself.
-BDS
I spent the weekend traveling, and when I finally got home on Sunday, put my stuff away, started laundry and paid the bills, I sat down on the couch where I stared uneasily at the pile of information which sat on the coffee table. 
It was too much. The stack was intimidating, and in my tired traveling state of mind, it appeared to be plotting against me. The sheer size of the pile was staggering. The information inside sat glibly waiting for me to devour it before it devoured me. But I didn’t even know where to begin.
The problem was that I had been busy the past few weeks at work, and then on the weekends, it had been even more hectic, which meant the pile had grown to its present threatening level. It’s easy to accumulate subscriptions – at least I’ve found it to be so. If you read anything 3 times a year or more, then it’s cheaper to just buy a year subscription versus paying for one-offs at a newsstand or bookstore.
Consequently, I currently subscribe to:
• Newsweek
• US Weekly
• GQ
• Details
• New York Times Sunday Edition
• Esquire
• Men’s Fitness
• Entertainment Weekly
• Wine Spectator
• Playboy
• Maxim
• Austin American Statesman
• Sherman’s Travel
• Travel and Leisure
• Consumer Reports
• Money
• Texas Monthly
• Dwell
This is a full enough list as it stands, but I wouldn’t mind adding Rolling Stone, Men’s Health, and Time to it. Maybe it’s an addiction, like those people who start with one tattoo and then end up with dozens. The pain of the needle might be worse, but I felt pretty lousy while I looked at the periodical pile which had sprung up on me when I wasn’t looking. 
The only reasonable thing to do would be to start with the lightest thing available – undoubtably US Weekly or Maxim – and start chipping away, but in the end, I turned on the football game instead and felt guilty because it’s a sad state of affairs when your brain is too lazy to comprehend the esoteric knowledge carried inside US Weekly.
-BDS
“Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise!” – Harvey Korman, “History of the World Part 1”
There are far funnier things in ‘History,’ but I always love a good (or bad) pun, and somehow Korman pulls this one off in the film. I am pulling out of work especially early today to drive north to attend a baseball game tomorrow night and visit family. So, before I hit the door by noon to avoid rush hour traffic on the back-end, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
David Hasselhoff was taken by ambulance to a hospital this past week due to either alcohol poisoning or due to an ear infection, the latter according to the Hoff.
The Hoff was taken from his home to an Encino, CA hospital Sunday afternoon after 911 was called. According to RadarOnline.com, Hasselhoff had been drinking vodka for more than a day when the ambulance was called. Hasselhoff later claimed that his daughter – Hayley – called 911 after finding him collapsed with dizziness caused by a combination of drugs used to treat an ear infection. 
Unfortunately, the "prescription drugs" for the ear infection were produced by Skyy, Smirnoff and Grey Goose. Seriously, Kitt needs to find his old friend and drive his ass straight to rehab.
Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested on Thursday in Texas following a complaint that they skipped out on a $10,000.00 in California, according to U.S. authorities.
The Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department said the complaint was made in early September by a hotel in California and warrants for burglary, defrauding an innkeeper and conspiracy were issued as part of a criminal investigation. The 58-year-old actor and his former model wife were both reported to have posted their $20,000 bail.
This is what happens when you turn Cousin Eddie loose in the big city.
The daughter of the Mamas & The Papas singer John Phillips said this week that she allegedly engaged in a 10-year sexual relationship with him.
Mackenzie Phillips revealed details about the alleged relationship – which she says started in 1979, when she was 19 – in a television interview on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and has written about it in her autobiography, 'High On Arrival.'
Phillips, who has a history of drug abuse, reportedly writes that her first sexual encounter with her father took place the night before she was due to marry Jeff Sesler, a member of Rolling Stones’ entourage.
"I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father," she writes in the book.
This whole story is pretty distasteful, and while I hope it is not true, it definitely makes the band’s name a poor, poor choice in hindsight.
Gisele Bundchen announced a new role this week: United Nations goodwill ambassador for the environment.
"I'm really honored to have received a call from the UN to spread the message about climate change in the world," the supermodel, 29, told reporters during an appearance in Manhattan's Washington Square. 
I’m no expert on global warming, but Gisele is hot enough that she’s probably responsible for raising the planet’s temperature all by herself, so it’s probably good karma that she’s attempting to cool it back off.
Heather Locklear is reprising her signature role as Amanda Woodward on the CW’s updated version of "Melrose Place," the network announced Tuesday.
Locklear will make her debut appearance Nov. 17 on the prime-time soap where she will join other original members of the show such as Daphne Zungia, Laura Laura Leighton and Thomas Calabro.
Somewhere in a darkened apartment, Andrew Shue is crying out: Why is Hollywood blackballing me?
Khloe Kardashian – the Kardashian sister without the giant ass and not the one who’s pregnant out of wedlock - confirmed she is set to wed basketball player Lamar Odom this weekend.
The ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ reality star posted a message on her blog confirming the rumors: She wrote: "Hi dolls, I'm thrilled to finally be able to tell you that the news is true... Lamar and I are getting married on Sunday!!!"
They will be getting divorced during the next season of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ or the start of the NBA season, whichever comes first.
Kevin Federline – Britney Spears’ ex-husband known as K-Fed – confirmed this week that he will be joining the cast of the next installment of VH1’s “Celebrity Fit Club.”
He’s hoping to lose enough weight to return his nickname to K-Fed from K-Fat.
Actress Lindsay Lohan will host three days of concerts featuring Beyonce Knowles and Black Eyed Peas to coincide with Sunday night's Singapore Grand Prix.
Lohan, 23, was a last-minute replacement after Pussy Cat Doll Nicole Scherzinger dropped out earlier this month. Lohan said she was honored because she is also a Formula One racing fan. "I like to drive. I like cars. I like fast cars," she said.
Lohan added: I like to talk very fast. I like to repeat myself. I like cocaine.
Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed a baby girl this past weekend named Charlotte Grace Prinze. 
Meanwhile, somewhere inside a very expensive crib, Sparrow James Midnight Madden is crying and beating his fists in even more anger about his unfortunate name.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
It’s been raining a lot this week in Austin, although I have yet to see anyone take to the streets like this. Regardless, enjoy singing or stripping in the rain, never refuse a hitchhiker without a shirt (where is she going to hide the knife to gut you?) and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Matinee. This film, loosely based on a true story, is an enjoyable ride with many solid laughs even if I never felt like I was having quite as much fun as the filmmakers.
Will I Own It On DVD: No. It's worth watching one more time for Damon's performance, but that doesn't justify the cost of owning the DVD.
Overrall Grade: B-
1) 'The Informant!' is a different kind of corpoate whistle-blower saga. The exclamation point in the title should be a tip-off, and this project is tilted towards comedy versus the traditional dramatic arc of previous films such as 'The Insider,' which treads similar thematic ground. This absurdity is a refreshing take on the genre, and the choice allows for easy laughs throughout even as the situations in the film become increasily grim for the participants.
2) Director Steven Soderbargh ('Ocean's Eleven') delivers his mainstream directing style with this project instead of his thread-bare independent mannerisms when he toils in smaller films. I wasn't wild about the look of this movie, which takes place laregly under a soft glow of lightbulbs throughout the running time, and consequently, everyone seems a bit fuzzy and diluted. But the pacing of the film is top-notch as it moves along well even when working through many scenes dense with exposition.
3) Matt Damon makes this movie. This was a vanity-free project for him as the actor added 30 lbs, sports a porn-star mustache and tops it off with a buffoant haircut as the somewhat delusional biochemist working with the FBI as well as with his own agenda, a course which is constantly flip-flopping. Damon totally commits to his role and disappears inside a character which could have easily been played for cheap laughs, however, Damon finds the bizarrely realistic center where his corporate spy is coming from and delivers a much more robust performance for it. His interior monologues were the highlight of the movie for me. 
4) The supporting cast is also uniformly excellent. It was especially fun to see Scott Bakula back onscreen as an FBI agent who develops a complicated relationship with Damon. Joel McHale (The Soup), Tony Hale (Arrested Development) and many others are equally good. 
5) With its upbeat musical score and oddly compelling dorky whistle-blower at the center, 'The Informant!' accomplishes its goal of turing this familiar plot on its head. It's hard to believe any of this ever happened in real life, but the concept of truth drives most of the characters and the plot in this film which is made by Damon's most anti-Jason Bourne role to date.
-BDS
“I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.” – Harvey Korman, “Blazing Saddles” 
I want a personal chef, a bartender, an absentee boss, a masseuse and a soft place to fall, but I think I’ll settle for a couple of breakfast tacos and a quick yet efficient day at the office. So, before I hit the road by 3 p.m. for greener pastures, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Taylor Swift was relishing her win for best female video at the MTV Video Music Awards this past Sunday when Kanye West grabbed the microphone from her to announce that Beyonce, who was also nominated, should have won because her "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" was "one of the best videos of all time."
A stunned Swift didn't get to finish her acceptance speech. The crowd booed West, who shortly after was asked to leave the show and left the building.
"I was standing on the stage and I was really excited because I had just won the award," Swift said after Sunday's show at Radio City Music Hall. "And then I was really excited because Kanye West was on the stage. And then I wasn't so excited anymore after that."
I’ve got no line for this one other than a plea for someone to kick West’s ass onstage at some future awards show because he’s simply an incredible, incurable douchebag.
Jessica Simpson’s year keeps getting worse as she announced Monday evening that her dog was taken and eaten by a coyote. Seriously.
“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes,” Jessica Tweeted on Monday evening. “HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!” The Simpson family made a poster in an attempt to get their dog back with a picture of the star’s beloved malti-poo and a request to email in any information on the dog’s whereabouts. 
The dog’s whereabouts are in the stomach of the coyote – now where do I apply for the reward?
Singer Whitney Houston told Oprah Winfrey on her show Monday that life with former husband Bobby Brown descended into a nightmare of drugs and fights, and that at one point he painted "evil" eyes on the walls of their home.
Houston, 46, also told Winfrey that her and Brown's drug-of-choice was marijuana mixed with cocaine. Houston said that during the couple's narcotics-filled days, Brown would break glass objects in their home, and at one point he began painting eyes in their bedroom.
"Evil eyes that were looking at every point in the room," Houston said. She added that Brown would paint on rugs, walls and closet doors, and that he used spray-paint.
When reached for comment, Brown declared that “it’s My Perogative if I want to paint evil eyes in my own damn house. Now, do you got any weed or not?”
Under the heading of yet another Jon and Kate Gosselin story, a former nanny - Stephanie Santoro – told In Touch magazine this week that she had sex with Jon nine times.
Santoro, 23, told the magazine that Jon’s seduction began with a request of: "Can you rub my shoulders? Now, can I rub yours?" which led to a hot-tub seduction. On their first night together, Jon allegedly told Santoro: "Whatever you do, don't fall in love with me, because it's going to be impossible for me not to fall in love with you."
Santoro later said about Jon’s sexual prowess: "he wasn't terrible, but it wasn't the best I ever had."
If Jon Gosselin is the best that anyone has ever had, then I feel very, very sorry for that person.
County music star Toby Keith was voted songwriter/artist of the decade by the Nashville Songwriters Association International this week.
Keith will be honored Oct. 18 for his hits "Courtesy of the Red, White And Blue (The Angry American)," "Who's Your Daddy?," "As Good As I Once Was" and "God Love Her."
Keith was obviously competing against nobody else in winning this award.
Soon-to-be-divorced Sean Penn made several public appearances in New York recently with Jessica White, a 25-year-old Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.
The pair were spotted getting intimate at dinner, according to the Daily News. "They were holding hands," an unnamed witness said "They seemed really into each other. She was laying on him. She was laying on his shoulder. He seemed really into her."
Penn and actress Robin Wright Penn filed for divorce in August after 13 years of marriage. Robin Wright filed divorce papers in Marin County, Calif., citing "irreconcilable differences." 
I’d say their “ irreconcilable differences” were rooted in Penn’s desire to sleep with swimsuit models, although that is merely a guess as I have no legal background.
Burt Reynolds has been released from a drug rehabilitation center where he was being treated for an addiction to painkillers, his manager said Wednesday.
The star of "Smokey and the Bandit," "Deliverance" and "Boogie Nights" began struggling after recent back surgery and "realized that he was in the prison of prescription pain pills," his manager Erik Kritzer said in a statement.
His manager, meanwhile, is locked in the asylum for aloof alliteration.
Harrison Ford, 67, said this week that ready for Indiana Jones’s next cinematic adventure, and that the next chapter is already being scripted.
"The story for the new 'Indiana Jones' is in the process of taking form," Ford told France's Le Figaro. "Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and myself are agreed on what the fifth adventure will concern, and George is actively at work. If the script is good, I'll be very happy to put the costume on again."
If the script is bad, they will simply remake “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
I’m all for taking a nap or strolling through the fields, whether alone or with friends. So, whether you are taking it easy or exercising, fully clothed or half naked . . . . Happy Friday!
- BDS
{Editor’s Note: R.I.P. Patrick Swayze}
{This is the 30th entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits. Last night, I wallowed in Dos Equis and Shiner Bock for football which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}
• You can never fully trust built-in underwear lining.
• If your actions cause a female to call you a pussy, then there’s a 97.2% chance that she has made an accurate assessment.
• If you cry during the conversation, the percentage raises to 100%. 
• Everyone should be able to make themselves vomit because the occasion will present itself when this skill is required.
• Only buy a hot dog at a ballpark or sports stadium
• Never step into a deserted elevator alone when it smells like farts or cloying perfume or both.
• Taco Bell has only 4 total ingredients in each store which are turned into 78 different foods and all of them will give you gas.
• You should cease to perform any kind of elaborate hand-shakes by the time you turn 30 years old.
• Never eat a banana in public.
• Talk to small children, old people and pets like adults and they will be better off for it and you will sound like an adult yourself.
• Never order the special at a restaurant when they fail to mention the price
• “Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure” – Ambrose Bierce
“Maybe it was a dream then, you know... a very weird... bizarre... vivid... erotic... wet... detailed dream. Maybe we had malaria” – Anthony Michael Hall, ‘Weird Science’
I had a dream that I don’t have in-laws visiting this weekend, but somehow, I can’t seem to wake up. Oh well, these things happen and before I leave the office to hide any incriminating evidence at my loft, let’s look at the hard stories of the short week such as:
Fox announced Wednesday that Ellen DeGeneres will become the new fourth judge on ‘American Idol’ this coming season, replacing Paula Abdul who left ‘Idol’ over the summer due to a salary dispute.
DeGeneres simultaneously announced the news on her Twitter feed and during a taping of her daytime talk show.
"This is so exciting for me," DeGeneres said. "We've been dealing with this for the last couple of weeks and I've been dying to tell everyone. It's just been so hard to keep it a secret and we just finally got the OK, and I'm so excited. It is going to be so much fun," she added. "I don't know how it happened myself but I have not missed one episode of that show. I've watched every single thing. I love everything about it and I love music, as you know." 
When reached for her response, Abdul said “As you know, I love Ellen and the show and pistachios and wish that raisons were more readily available . . . I’ve got a new show myself. What was the question again?”
Nicole Richie and Joel Madden added a baby boy to their family Wednesday.
The couple named their newborn son Sparrow James Midnight Madden. Sparrow is the second child for Richie and Madden. Their daughter, Harlow, will be 2 in January.
You know what they say, birds of a feather . . . give their kids really stupid names.
Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner filed for divorce this week from the estranged wife – Kimberly Conrad – as the pair have been legally married since 1989, although separated since January 1998.
Hefner, 83, filed court documents seeking to end his marriage to former Playmate Conrad, 47, citing irreconcilable differences.
Conrad also cited the fact that Hefner continually slept with a revolving line-up of 20-year-old blondes and then taped the encounters for a TV show as reason for the final split.
Tyra Banks showed her real hair on the season debut of her TV talk show on Tuesday.
On the fifth-season premiere of ‘The Tyra Banks Show,” the former supermodel went on-camera with as Banks put it, "no wigs, extensions, no nothing" for the show where she also interviewed women with insecurities about their own hair.
Unfortunately for the other women, Banks only asked them foropinions about Bank’s own hair and the show ended before Tyra could ask about anyone except herself.
Jon Gosselin upped the verbal ante with Kate Gosselin this week when he told ‘Good Morning America’ that he despises his estranged wife and believes that she stole his wedding ring.
Jon told ABC News' Chris Cuomo on the GMA that his evidence for the theft is that he set down his ring one day and it vanished. He says no one else could have taken it. He also accuses Kate of verbally abusing him and beating him down during their marriage.
I wish more people would follow Kate’s example and continue to beat Jon down – physically if possible – as that is one reality show I might actually watch.
Lindsay Lohan has a new role as an artistic adviser to the French fashion house Emanuel Ungaro.
Ungaro is paring the actress with new designer Estrella Archs as the beginning of what it calls a new consumer-led business model. Ungaro CEO and president Mounir Moufarrige said Lohan will give an "electric shock" to a label that has aged along with its customers.
The only ‘electric shocks’ that usually come from associating with Lohan is the Taser gun from police officers, so this will be a nice change of pace.
Megan Fox slammed the door to ever finding her in a leaked sex tape when she told MTV this week that the thought disgusted her.
The 23-year-old 'Jennifer's Body' starlet said: "Ugh, never!" ... That's the last thing I want to see -- what I look like having sex," Fox exclaimed. "It would take one shot of me not looking good and I would not be able to have sex ever again, because I would always just see myself looking like a hippo having sex."
Personally, I would have sex with a hippo simply to watch a tape of Fox having sex, but that’s just me . . . {Editor’s Note: Or is it?}
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
I don’t worry with the three’s a crowd distinction as numbers are often meaningless when clothing is being shed. So, feel free to lend an extra hand or tie one behind somebody today, have fun regardless of the company you keep and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
