"Beer is for breakfast around here, drink or be gone.” Bryan Brown, “Cocktail”
“Cocktail” is a fairly horrible yet also horribly entertaining movie that is far better than it has any right to be. I probably should have quoted an Oscar film as I plan to watch and pull for Mickey Rourke this weekend, but for some reason, “Cocktail” popped into my head.
Anyway, it’s 70 degrees and sunny in Austin, so I need to flee the office as quickly as possible. Before that occurs, however, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Salma Hayek married her French lover on Valentine’s Day, an official at a Paris City Hall confirmed this week.
The official says the Mexican-born actress wed Francois-Henri Pinault in a civil ceremony. The two met in Italy in 2006, got engaged and then had a child - Valentina Paloma - in September 2007 before breaking off their engagement in 2008. 
This just gives me another reason to hate Valentine’s Day, although my love for Hayek remains unabated.
Christ Brown, who was arrested before the Grammys in connection with a domestic violence investigation involving Rhianna, released a statement this week which saying the singer is "sorry and saddened" over what happened.
The statement was released through publicist Michael Sitrick and said: "I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God's help, to emerge a better person." 
In a subsequent statement, God stated: “I had nothing to do with this, and don’t appreciate having my name used in connection with the incident.“
Lindsay Lohan addressed her recent rail thin appearance this week as she told Us Weekly that stress was largely to blame.
"I eat. I had my Big Mac yesterday from McDonald's," Lohan told Us Weekly. The 22-year-old actress also said that her recent weight loss is "not intentional," blaming it on "working a lot," "stress" and a "lack of sleep" from traveling. 
While her statement contains certain truths, the most accurate order of the wording should be: Lohan cannot find any “work,” which is “not intentional” on her part and she is “stressed” and this is causing a “lack of sleep.” So, she was close . . .
GQ magazine's list of the "10 most Stylish Men in America” named Grammy-winning pop singer Justin Timberlake as its most fashionable man this week.
The singer/actor gave his banker stepfather the credit for his dress sense. The magazine praised Timberlake, 28, for his impact on fashion, his willingness to take risks and "knack for targeting trends" including hats, three-piece suits, skinny ties and beards.
The award is certain to help Timberlake garner female attention as he obviously needed more help in that department.
People magazine revealed this week that Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are engaged.
According to a friend of the actress, co-stars in 2008’s “Jumper,” got engaged in December. “They’re so excited,” says the pal, adding that no wedding date has been set. “They’re a great couple. Rachel seems thrilled beyond belief.” 
As a wedding present to the public, the pair have agreed never to make a sequel to “Jumper.”
Kanye West appeared on Details magazine this week, and gave a wide-ranging interview that discussed his favorite subject – himself – and also credited his past sexual addiction for his success.
"People ask me a lot about my drive," he says. "I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex—to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3 a.m., the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic..."
Finally, I agree with West about something as sexual addiction has been great for my own life too.
But let’s not end with addiction, no matter how matter how beneficial it may be, and instead focus on a gold image or two:
I enjoy wide open spaces, nature and nudity, so these photographs agreed with me. So, try to get outdoors today, feel free to leave your clothing behind and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
{This is the 25th entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits with my brother. Last night, we celebrated a package delivery with several bottles of Negro Modelo which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}
• Just because you have tinted windows doesn’t mean other drivers can’t see you picking your nose.
• If you go home with a woman to discover a single unicorn picture, more than two cats or lace everywhere then do NOT spend the night there – just go home afterwards.
• Invite one bad drunk to a dinner party to spur conversation, however, more than one ensures a debacle.
• While traveling for business, the bar at any Chili’s is the loneliest place in the world – avoid it at all costs. 
• What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas except for communicable diseases
• If you surf for porn at work, then you have a problem. If it’s at home, then it’s a hobby. If you’re self-employed, then it’s a gray area.
• Forget talk about inner peace and tranquility, yoga is great for stretching your sexual endurance
• Cut older people slack on the road, but not when it comes to talking inside movie theaters – nobody gets a free pass there.
• Never let a dog bigger than you hump your leg. 
• "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." ~Winston Churchill
-BDS
Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Matinee or rental. This film would make a fine rental unless you're trying to round out watching this year's Oscar nominees in the theater. In that case, a matinee is still a good value for "The Reader."
Will I Own It On DVD: No. I'm glad to have seen "The Reader," however, this is a hard, little movie with subject matter that doesn't make for overly pleasant viewing time and again. 
1) "The Reader" spans several decades during its running time of two hours, although it mainly chronicles one summer which dramatically changes the life of a 15-year-old German boy due to his affair with an older woman - Kate Winslet - who later joins the Nazi party as a security officer to hide a secret.
That description doesn't entirely cover the film as one of the virtues of "The Reader" is its ability to wallow in gray areas, leaving viewers to sort through situations which often offer no easy answers.
2) The summer itself is nearly ideal, a utopia where a teenage boy luckily stumbles into a situation where he spends all his waking hours having sex, bathing and reading stories to Winslet's character, who demands all three nearly every time they are together. She derives great pleasure from these pursuits, but never reveals anything about herself. 
3) Unfortunately, this affair proves to be too much of a good thing because it utterly consumes the life of the boy, who is played as an adult by Ralph Fiennes. After the affair ends, he doesn't see Winslet until his time at law school where he attends a trial of several Nazi guards, including Winslet's character and the reunion tears him apart for many years to come.
4) Winslet gives an outstanding performance in "The Reader." I enjoyed her work here far more than her showier role in "Revolutionary Road," and I'm glad she received the Best Actress nomination for this one. Her character - Hannah - is reserved and prideful and Winslet never makes a false step along the way. Her role is also vanity free as she wears little to no make-up (until they need to age her for the story), and she doesn't shy away from the nudity which is essential for the plot. 
Fiennes gives an excellent performance as well, although his screen time is far smaller than Winslet's due to large parts of the movie being told in flashbacks.
5) Overall, “The Reader” is a very good film. That being said, I don’t feel it deserves to be up for Best Picture this year as both “The Wrestler” and “The Dark Knight” were superior films in my opinion. The central conceit or secret of Winslet’s character didn’t entirely work for me in terms of guiding her decisions, although it wasn’t wholly unbelievable either.
I always feel that any film which deals with the atrocities of the Holocaust automatically starts with high marks due to the subject matter, and this head start makes it less of a stretch to declare them great versus merely very good.
“The Reader” is a worthwhile project, a fine acting showcase and it earns credit for sketching its subject matter in complex tones. It deserves to be seen, but I don’t feel that it is quite good enough to be one of the five best movies of the year.
-BDS
"LAPD, shitbird. Get the fuck outta here or I'll call your wife to come get you!” – Russell Crowe, “L.A. Confidential” 
I watched that movie again this week after a long hiatus, and had forgotten what a good one that project was as it broke Crowe into Hollywood, and featured an outstanding cast with Kevin Spacey, Danny Devito, Guy Pearce, James Cromwell and Kim Bassinger.
Anyway, I’d love to employ the term shitbird a few times today, however, work is not the appropriate venue for that addition to my vocabulary. So before I finish my projects and flee downtown to use it freely, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Salma Hayek breastfed another woman's baby during a trip to Sierra Leone in front of “Nightline” cameras this week.
Hayek, 42, discovered the child, who's mother was unable to produce milk, during a tour of a hospital in the war-torn country.
"The baby was perfectly healthy, but the mother did not have any milk," she told USA Today.”He was very hungry - I was weaning my daughter Valentina, but I still had a lot of milk, so I breastfed the baby."
Since reading this story, I’ve been starving myself for days and have sent multiple letters to Hayek’s reps but have yet to receive a visit.
Prior to the Grammy Awards this past Sunday, Police arrested musician Chris Brown on charges of making criminal threats in relation to his girlfriend Rihanna after an alleged fight inside a car.
The incident occurred in Brown's car, and celebrity websites and magazines have said Brown left the scene and police found Rihanna, 20, suffering from a bloody nose, split lip and bite marks in the vehicle. She was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, but later released.
Brown, 19, is currently free on bail, and unnamed police sources have told the Los Angeles Times that Rihanna is cooperating with police.
This is a pitiful reflection on Brown if the reports are true, and he deserves whatever punishment is doled out. I just can’t fathom what would make you that angry if you’re a teenager who is already internationally famous, a multi-millionaire and dating someone even more famous and richer and better looking than you – I’d be happy as a clam all day long.
Grey's Anatomy" stars Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight will soon be leaving the TV medical drama, Us Weekly magazine reported on Tuesday confirming long-swirling rumors concerning the actors. 
Heigl plans to move onto a career in movies while Knight is hoping to audition for a string of Burger King commercials, if he’s lucky.
In other television departures, Nicollette Sheridan, who plays Realtor Edie Britt on the ABC comedy “Desperate Housewives,” is leaving the show, a spokeswoman for the network said on Wednesday.
ABC gave no further details about the timing or circumstances of the departure of Sheridan's loud-mouthed character.
If Sheridan was ‘Desperate’ before, then just wait until she’s looking for work and no longer on the show.
Singer-actress Mandy Moore and rock singer Ryan Adams are engaged.
Moore's publicist Jillian Fowkes confirmed to The Associated Press on Wednesday that the two are planning to wed. No details were announced. 
Rumors have Adams taking Moore’s last name once they are married so drunken concert goers will stop screaming out requests for him to “play ‘Summer of ’69.’
Joaquin Phoenix made a bizarre and disastrous appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman” this week.
Still bearded, claiming a new rap career and wearing sunglasses, Phoenix gave confused, abrupt answers and made things awkward for Letterman who refused to extend the actor an invitation to perform a rap set on a future show and concluded the interview with: "Sorry you couldn't be here tonight, Joaquin.”
I think most people were sorry that Phoenix was actually there as he seems to be killing a joke that was never funny in the first place.
Thailand's government got angry with Angelina Jolie this week after the actress spoke out and called for the country to respect the rights of the Rohingya, a Muslim minority people fleeing nearby Myanmar's military dictatorship.
"It was not her role to comment on the matter," Thai Foreign Ministry spokesman Tharit Charungvat said Thursday. 
Jennifer Aniston immediately pledged her support for the government of Thailand, and called Jolie’s comments “uncool.”
But let’s not end with feuds, and instead, focus on a gold image or two like: 
These images contain a plethora of my favorite things like food, wine, breasts, and heavy artillery. I guess you could strike that last one from the list.
Regardless, don’t be afraid to mix pleasures today, remember that you can’t hide anything when you’re naked and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I survived another round of kick-off meetings with no hide torn from my back and my job in tact. I suppose that’s the best case scenario for these type of things . . . Anyway, by the numbers, the week broke down like this:
9 cups of coffee
8 Meals brought into the large meeting area so you couldn’t leave
7 Embarrassingly loud laughs from myself which were highly disproportionate to the joke in question
6 Useful sessions (14 total)
$5(0) dollar bill given to me for my 3-year company anniversary
4 sexual daydreams
3 Public comments during meetings
2 Lame nightly activities following the all-day meetings
1 Poorly drawn picture of a goat smoking a cigarette with a penis for an ear on my note taking paper
I'm just thankful it's over for another six months.
-BDS
{Editor's Note: $2 Dollar Productions is trapped inside all-day company meetings from Monday through Wednesday. If you hear any word by mid-week, please send a search party to Austin.}
Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Matinee. If you love Clint Eastwood, then you could likely justify full price, however, this movie makes for a very rewarding matinee flick. It would also be a fine rental, and wouldn't suffer much in the transition to the small screen.
Will I Own It On DVD: Maybe. If I could find it for under $10, then I might grab it, especially if it turns out to be Eastwood's last starring role as he's hinted in some interviews. 
1) "Gran Torino" focuses on Eastwood, a recently widowed Army veteran, and his relationship to his neighborhood which he considers under siege from an influx of Asians. His character - Walt - is an equal opportunity bigot (African-Americans, Hispanics, Gays, Jews, etc. are all disparaged), and generally a miserable human being. If Walt wasn't played by Eastwood, it would have been much harder to pull any shred of empathy from the audience, however, by sheer force of will, Eastwood makes viewers care about his character.
2) Eastwood also directed "Gran Torino," and his steady hand helps elevate the material above potential Lifetime movie of the week melodrama once Walt forms a relationship with the father-less Asian teenagers who live next door, and find themselves menaced by gang members. The film only occasionally veers towards blatant sentiment, mostly in the beginning, but in-between lies a well-paced product anchored by its star. 
3) It is a testament to the power of Eastwood that he can still provoke fear as he approaches 80-years-old. His voice is a series of guttural growls, a harsh sound that serves him well as he barks insults at various characters. And he still posseses enough physicality as well as access to weaponary to worry groups of teenage gangbangers. 
4) Unfortunately, the supporting cast isn't quite as strong. Tao, the Asian teenager who bonds with Eastwood, is distinctly uncharismatic and wholly unbelievable in a few scenes. I hesitate to criticize the actor as I imagine it's one of his first roles, but he does the movie no favors in the majority of his screen time.
5) Other than having to stomp an occasional gang member, Eastwood's retirement looked pretty fine to me. He would sit on his porch with his dog, drinking coffee in the mornings before switching to a cooler full of Pabst Blue Ribbon later in the day while watching the world go by. If you added books and a flat-screen TV/DVD player, then I'd be all for it, and I found it no surprise that Eastwood's mood turns sour when others try to intrude upon his time.
"Gran Torino" is not a great movie. Eastwood's skill both in front of and behind the camera, however, squeeze every drop of potential out of the source material, which makes for a worthy film that still manages to entertain.
-BDS
"Let me be your Sherpa. Let me be your Sherpa up the mountain of gay," Justin Long, "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." 
That was a pretty funny scene in 'Zack and Miri,' although my favorite line concerns Glengarry Glen Ross, but I don't care to ruin it in case someone wants to rent the film.
I plan to forsake the movies today as I took the day off from work (we get a paid vacation day to take around our birthday), and get outside since it's sunny and in the 60s. Why not? But before I decide on my exact plans, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Disney teen idol Miley Cyrus was accused of taunting and mocking Asians by making slant-eye poses in a personal photograph with her friends. The picture of the "Hannah Montana" star and friends posing with an Asian friend and pulling their eyes sideways surfaced on the Internet this week.
The OCA, a national organization in the United States dedicated to advancing the social and political welfare of Asian Pacific Americans, called on the singer-actress to apologize. The group said the image "falls within a long and unfortunate history of people mocking and denigrating individuals of Asian descent."
Meanwhile, officials in the state of Montana have also called for an apology from Cyrus for causing them shame because her behavior ""falls within a long and unfortunate history of people mocking and denigrating individuals from Montana."
Hilary Duff and Faye Dunaway got into a war of words this week concerning Duff's participation as Bonnie in the upcoming movie titled: The Story of Bonnie and Clyde. Dunaway starred as Bonnie along with Warren Beatty in the famous "Bonnie and Clyde."
Dunaway started the feud when she responded to the news of the new film with: "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?"
Duff retorted: "I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now, too."
Ouch. Both of these put-downs were light-years ahead of Jennifer Aniston's "uncool" insult concerning Angelina Jolie a few months ago.
In other female feuding, singer Etta James ripped into Beyonce this week for singing one of her songs during Barack Obama's inauguration in Washington D.C.
The legendary singer, 71, said during a concert in Seattle that " . . . She’s going to get her ass whooped ... Beyonce … I can’t stand Beyonce.” 
Perhaps Beyonce's ass merely needs a firm spanking instead of a "whooping," and if that's the case, then I'll volunteer my services as I have a healthy respect for discipline.
Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee's helicopter was reportedly pulled over mid-flight by the LAPD Sunday after it flew underneath and "too close" to an LAPD chopper.
Lee, who was riding shotgun, was released. His pilot, David Martz, was located by cops at a nearby hotel approximately ten minutes after the landing, where he was reportedly suspected of drinking.
This might be the first time that Lee was questioned by police, and he wasn't the drunk one.
An audio clip of "Batman" star Christian Bale lashing out verbally against a crew member on the set of “Terminator: Salvation” surfaced this week. The audio tape from the reported July 2008 incident just emerged, allegedly featuring Bale spewing profanity at “Terminator: Salvation” director of photography, Shane Hurlbut.
“I want you off the f***ing set, you pr***,” Bale reportedly says.
“I’m sorry,” Hurlbut reportedly replies.
“No, don’t just be sorry. Think for one f***king second,” Bale reportedly shouts. “What the f*** are you doing? Are you a professional or not?”
The man said to be Bale appears to grow angrier as Hurlbut replies to him in a calm tone, “Yes, I am.”
“No, no. Am I gonna f***ing rip your lights down in the middle of the scene? Then why the f***are you walking right through, ‘Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh,’ in the background,” the man said to be Bale, sing-songs. “What the f*** is it with you? What the f*** don’t you understand?” 
Jeez - Bale might be a good actor, but what a fucking asshole.
Britney Spears’ “Circus” tour was almost cancelled this week as the pop star was willing to call it off if she couldn't see her children while she’s on the road — but now the boys will accompany her.
Spears' Web site posted a message Monday night saying that "both Sean Preston and Jayden James will, in fact, be joining Britney throughout the duration of her tour."
In a subsequent statement, Sean Preston and Jayden James pleaded: "Somebody help us. For the love of God, help us!"
Jennifer Aniston rescued a dog who was roaming loose on a busy Los Angeles street last week, and this week revealed that she has a personal personal connection to the canine.
Aniston told Access Hollywood that she was driving in Beverly Hills when “a dog darted out in the middle of Sunset [Blvd.]. People didn’t seem like they were stopping.”
The star approached the “beautiful Husky” that she did not recognize, but then "The dog that we rescued happened to be Chris McMillan’s,” Aniston explained. McMillan is a celebrity hairdresser who Aniston has worked with before.
This story shows just how pitifully slow the news was inside of Hollywood this week.
As always, let's end with a gold image or in this case, three of them:
This seemed like a fine series, although I found all of them individually through painstaking research, dedication and with a critical eye. So, remember that good things come in threes, don't get yourself cuffed to anything you can't walk away from and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I was supposed to meet the movie guy today at Whole Foods for lunch. The past tense was used because he seems to be flaking out after calling me this past Friday and suggesting the meeting time. 
This kind of behavior pisses me off to no end. I have never had any use for flakes, buffoons, blowhards, communists, back-slappers, jerk-offs or pederasts, and with each passing year, my tolerance decreases exponentially. 
I'm also moving past the point of no return with the movie guy because he's contributed absolutely nothing to our script with the exception of insisting on giving one character a stutter that is unequivocally NOT funny. I made that concession in hopes that he could get our script read by someone with enough juice to start things moving, a belief buoyed by his own claims as well as his resume - which is legitimate - as he has done special effects work for a number of big Hollywood movies as well as directing his own low-budget comedy.
So far, he has managed to get our script into the hands of the brother of a faded former "Saturday Night Live" star (supposedly). Since my own brother and I are coming from nowhere with even fewer connections, I would accept that, however, the 'SNL' brother received the script in November and we've yet to hear any kind of feedback.
My problem is that they movie guy is either too weak or too lazy to follow up, and apply some gentle pressure along the lines of "Hey, I can't wait to hear your feedback about the script." I had planned to tell him at lunch that if he refused or was unable to do that, then give me the contact information and I will follow up myself.
2009 seems like a fine year to push for this script to land somewhere as comedies can be made cheaply, and escapism from the ugly macro-economic environment of the entire world should only make our script more appealing. I mean who wouldn't want to trade in worrying about dwindling 401Ks and spend time watching a suburban accountant come apart at the seems after inheriting a Swinger's Sex Club? 
I know I would, although I am also inherently biased.
Anyway, we'll see what happens, but that is my goal whenever I do find another time to meet with the movie guy. In the interim, this post was somewhat cathartic and might ensure that I don't simply rip out his larynx when I sit across from him.
-BDS
Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Matinee or rental. This movie is a fast, solidly constructed kidnapping genre piece that is entertaining despite its shortcomings. It would make a perfect matinee flick if the story appeals to you at all.
Will I Own It On DVD: Doubtful. But I would watch it again if it flashed on cable some night. 
1) I'm not a huge fan of kidnapping flicks, however, I enjoyed "Taken" for its economical running time (about 90 minutes), use of a teenager as the victim versus the traditional child, and mainly for the fact that Liam Neeson was the protagonist.
2) "Taken" wastes no time in developing the story, and somewhat blatantly beats viewers over the head with the fact that Neeson is a retired ex-CIA (or some kind of government "preventer") agent who gave up his career to try to re-connect with his daughter (Maggie Grace) in Los Angeles where she now lives with her mother and stepfather. After reluctantly agreeing to let her spend the summer with a friend in Paris, his daughter is snatched in an effectively tense kidnapping scene by Albanian mobsters who traffic in illegal black market sex trading. 
3) Neeson is a physically powerful actor, and he uses his size to tear through Paris in an attempt to find his daughter before it is too late. His performance conveys a direct sense of purpose that never wavers as he beats people with his bare hands, tortures others and shoots a plethora of bad guys during his pursuit. There is a certain glee in Neeson's character as the actor seems to relish his somewhat pulpish role. 
4) One area that the movie explores is the ugly and vicious sex trade that I hope is exaggerated. I've read horrible articles about these operations, and the movie pulls no punches in showing the forced drug use and menace used to convert women into prostitutes.
5) As I left the theater, I couldn't help wonder how in the hell "Taken" received a PG-13 rating? To me, this was just another example of how ridiculous the ratings system has become since it tends to always permit rampant violence yet slaps an R rating on any movie that uses the word fuck or shows a fleeting shot of a woman's breast. It is utterly ridiculous because "Taken" racks up an enormous body count and yet received a rating allowing teenagers to flock inside (at least as evidenced by the sold out screening I attended).
-BDS
