“Conan, what is best in life?”
“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women,” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, ‘Conan the Barbarian’
This could be a fine mantra for anyone brave enough to go shopping on Black Friday. You could substitute women for men, I suppose, depending upon your preference. My preference is to stay as far away from any commerce-related activities as possible, and instead, will simply focus on helping my parents put up Christmas decorations and then enjoy a well-deserved peppercorn steak at Del Frisco’s steakhouse later tonight.
But before any of that happens, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
"American Idol" runner-up, Adam Lambert, gave a sexually provocative performance at the American Music Awards this past week during a rendition of his new song "For Your Entertainment."
The performance included a variety of sexual hijinks with references to S&M and bondage and included a kiss with one of the dancers. Lambert, who is openly gay, came out after the show and talked about "discrimination" if the pre-taped performance was edited. 
My own personal entertainment only rarely involves bondage, once in a blue moon revolves around S&M, but never includes watching Adam Lambert kiss a back-up dancer.
On the same awards show, Jennifer Lopez's "comeback" performance went awry as the singer fell on her butt after attempting to jump off the back of one of her dancers during her newest song titled "Louboutins."
Lopez quickly bounced back onto her feet and resumed a solo dance sequence as the audience let out a very loud gasp and some laughter. 
Doctors backstage believe her injuries were minimized because Lopez finally used her ample backside for something other than publicity.
Miley Cyrus had a surprise party thrown for her this week to celebrate her 17th birthday.
The 80s themed party was held at New York City's Canal Room where guests listened to music and enjoyed a custom-designed cake created by Buddy Valastro, the star of TLC's Cake Boss. 
Cyrus was quoted as saying she loved the 80s theme "because it's like, so historical and stuff." It only feels like Cyrus has already been alive for 100 years.
Roman Polanski will be placed under house arrest at his Alpine chalet as soon as possible, the Swiss Justice Ministry said Thursday, announcing it would not appeal a court's decision to release the 76-year-old director on bail.
"He must not leave this house," the ministry said in a statement. The ministry said it was still deciding whether to extradite Polanski to the United States, where authorities in Los Angeles want him sentenced for having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl.
Polanski really has it tough, being forced to confine himself to a house in the Swiss Alps, although he was heard remarking that he was incredibly angry that "I couldn't attend Miley's birthday party."
Lindsay Lohan was set to spend Thanksgiving at her family's home in Long Island, according to People.com.
"Lindsay is making the garlic mashed potatoes. They are amazing!" mom Dina Lohan told People. "Lindsay is doing great right now. She's happy and very busy working. She works a lot and so we're excited to have her home for Thanksgiving."
Lohan is Thankful that her mother continues to confuse "working" with "partying" and hopes she doesn't notice the special white flakes sprinkled on top of the mashed potatoes.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:
I had to work some kind of eating into the pics this week since there was a lot of food to be had over Thanksgiving. So, enjoy every last bite, sprawl naked on the bed in black and white or in color and . . . Happy Black Friday!
-BDS
“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything,” – Brad Pitt, ‘Fight Club’
‘Fight Club’ came out on Blu Ray this week, and the release reminded me what a singularly stellar project it was even if you don’t agree with all the philosophical musings thrown around during the movie. Oh well, I’m not really in a fighting mood today since the weather is somewhat bleak – 60s and gray and rainy – so I might just take it easy tonight, especially since I’ve got a Guy Clark concert to attend tomorrow at the Cactus Café.
Oh well, before I jump into the hard news of the week, I would be remiss without mentioning the architect of the new blog design here at $2 Dollar Productions – Wade. Wade was an excellent working partner on the redesign as he was quick, did really good work and listened to some of my ridiculous suggestions without laughing while discreetly steering me away from the abyss. He does this for a living for Spoke Creative – www.spoke-creative.com – and he can personally be reached at wade@spoke-creative.com with any inquiries. We’re still tweaking a few things, but for the most part, the $2 Dollar Productions re-launch has begun and we owe him a lot of thanks.
Now, onto the real news of the week such as:
The first picture from Levi Johnston’s upcoming Playgirl pictorial hit the web this week, showing the 19-year-old Alaskan in the shower.
But Playgirl magazine did refute earlier rumors that the Johnston spread would showcase everything. "He did not give 'full frontal' as his manager Tank [Jones] reported he would," Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl said. "We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them, but although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."
Johnston claimed he would have gone full frontal, but that cold Alaskan weather meant shrinkage was too much of a problem to ignore.
People magazine named Johnny Depp the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ on Wednesday, making Depp only the 3rd two-time winner since the award was started as he joined Brad Pitt and George Clooney in that category.
Editors considered “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson for the award, but decided instead to go with the 46-year-old Depp in the end. People senior editor Kate Coyne told the CBS Early Show: "He was sexy ten years ago, he'll be sexy ten years from now. He appeals to multiple generations of women -- and for many different reasons to different kinds of women.”
Levi Johnston was heard muttering “If I’d only gone full frontal, that award would have been mine,” when Depp was announced as the winner.
Nicolas Cage visited a Kenyan prison holding suspected Somali pirates awaiting trial this week to highlight the problem of piracy in the Indian Ocean.
Cage, a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador on Drugs and Crime, told The Associated Press Television News on Tuesday that he wanted to meet with some of the suspected Somali pirates to hear their stories and understand what is fueling piracy off the Somali coast.
"Then I'm in a position where I can actually make some sense and talk about it when I go back to the States where I go talk to different U.N. councils and discuss the matter," Cage said. 
Cage denied asking the pirates for tips that he could use on the high seas to earn some extra cash and pay his delinquent tax bill back home in America.
Kate Moss came under fire this week from eating disorder experts after the supermodel cited a motto she herself employs and one which is used on some web sites to encourage girls to avoid eating.
In an interview with the fashion Web site WWD, Moss said one of her mottos was "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Moss's modeling agency, Storm, later said her words had been misinterpreted.
"This was part of a longer answer Kate gave during a wider-ranging interview, which has unfortunately been taken out of context and completely misrepresented," the agency said in a statement. "For the record, Kate does not support this as a lifestyle choice."
Moss also told the interviewer that “nothing tastes good at all if you do a lot of cocaine,” a statement that her agency failed to refute.
Oprah Winfrey will announce today that she is ending her popular daytime talk show in 2011.
Winfrey's production company, Harpo Inc, said on Thursday that she would make the official announcement on Friday's live program from Chicago and talk about the reasons behind the decision to end it after 25 years on the air.
The main reason is that her talk show has taken up so much time that she is years behind schedule in her quest for complete and total world domination.
Bruce Springsteen bellowed "Hello, Ohio!" to his fans at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan this past week.
The singer referred to the neighboring state several times during the show until E Street Band guitarist Steve Van Zandt whispered in his ear, and Springsteen told the crowd that the mistake was "every front man's nightmare."
Springsteen was glad the crowd wasn’t angry enough to storm the stage, but noted that he was Born to Run so he wasn’t that worried about his escape.
Forbes magazine named Will Ferrell the most overpaid star as the actor topped the magazine's Hollywood list, largely due to his summer movie disappointment ‘Land of the Lost.’
After examining stars' salaries compared with the revenue each film generated over the past five years, Forbes determined Ferrell's films earned an average of $3.29 for every dollar he was paid. 
In response, Ferrell is now only accepting scripts that require him to run around in his underwear since ‘Old School’ and ‘Talladega Nights’ did so well at the box office.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
The first picture just seemed nice to me, not sexy, but nice, And every once in awhile that is OK. So, hang out with friends today, don't be afraid to go cheek to cheek and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
"Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big?" — Mel Brooks, ‘Spaceballs’
Nobody ever tells anyone these things. But I will also keep information like this to myself today since the office is no place for this kind of loose talk. It’s also not a place for me today since it’s sunny and 80 degrees and consequently, leaving before 3 p.m. seems like a moral imperative.
But before that happens, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Britney Spears caused some controversy in Australia this week due to her alleged lip syncing during a concert in Perth.
During the show, about 100 angry fans reportedly stormed out of Britney's concert at the Burswood Dome saying they were disappointed by the lackluster performance and the fact that Spears was lip-synching during her two-hour show. 
If the Perth fans were disappointed that Spears was lip synching, just wait until they find out about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
A judge ordered a woman to stay away from Justin Timberlake for the next three years on Monday after an attorney for the singer argued for the restraining order against Karen McNeil.
Timberlake wrote in court filings that McNeil repeatedly showed up at his house and trespassed on his property last month. McNeil, who represented herself, opposed the court order writing that she thought: she was destined to rule the world and wanted to marry Timberlake so he could rule with her.
I didn’t realize that Karen McNeil was Britney Spears’s real name.
In other judicial news, a California judge granted a temporary restraining order Tuesday barring Jennifer Lopez's first husband from distributing 11 hours of home video footage that allegedly includes sexual situations.
Lopez claims ex-husband Ojani Noa – who she was married to for 11 months in 1997 - is exploiting her private life with the footage and the proposed film - "The J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story.” In court filings, Lopez said she believes the video footage are exploitive and offensive and would "damage her career and reputation.” 
Noa cited ‘Gigli’ as evidence to the judge and claimed that “nothing ever released could be worse or more damaging than that film,” however, the judge ultimately disagreed.
Steven Tyler reportedly quit Aerosmith this week and then returned a few days later.
Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry told the Las Vegas Sun newspaper over the weekend that: “Steven quit as far as I can tell. I don’t know any more than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don’t know.” He also said that the band would look for a replacement if Tyler has quit to “move the Aerosmith vibe up a notch.”
Only a few days later, however, Tyler said that he would remain as singer of the band telling a NY audience: "I just want New York to know that I'm not leaving Aerosmith. The break-up - it just ain't true." 
Perry was very relieved by Tyler’s decision because he said it would be extremely hard to find another Dude who Looks Like a Lady to front the band.
Former Miss California USA Carrie Prejean – who was fired in June for what she believes was her vocal opposition to gay marriage - confirmed the existence of a sex tape this week that she made for an ex-boyfriend several years ago.
Prejean told Fox News on Monday and NBC's "Today" show on Tuesday that she shot the X-rated video of herself alone when she was 17 years old and sent it to a boyfriend. She said: "It was for private use, but does that justify what I did? No. It was the biggest mistake of my life."
Apparently, Prejean has recently added homemade sex tapes right under gay marriage on her list of things she’s against.
In the upcoming December issue of W magazine, Demi Moore says that she prefers the term “Puma” to “Cougar” when it comes to her relationship with Ashton Kutcher.
Moore, 47, tells that magazine that: “I’m certainly not the first person to be in a relationship with a younger man, but somehow I was plucked out as a bit of a poster girl,” “I don’t know why that is. But I just kind of step back sometimes and say, ‘There is some reason, and what is it that I have to share in a positive way?” 
The most positive contribution Moore could make to this scenario would be a permanent retirement of the term ‘Cougar.’
Mike Tyson got into an airport scuffle with a photographer this week that resulted in both men being booked and released on suspicion of misdemeanor battery and both want to press charges against the other.
The photographer, Tony Echevarria, 50, told police that Tyson struck him once opening a cut on his forehead, airport police spokesman Sgt. Jim Holcomb said.
Tyson's spokeswoman Tammy Brook said the boxer was traveling with his wife and 10-month-old child when he was attacked by Echevarria. "Mike acted in self defense as a father protecting his child," she said. 
Echevarria was just lucky that he protected his ears during the altercation.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
It’s not longer beach season, but it’s still nice to be reminded of the sand and the water on occasion. The lack of clothing helps too. So, let your mind wander today, don’t fixate on layering your clothes and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
“You could say I’m a man of the cloth – without the cloth,” Matthew McConaughey, “Contact”
McConaughey portrayed some kind of Playboy spiritual adviser in ‘Contact,’ a man who could both sleep with Jodie Foster the day he meets her, and also somehow manage to parlay his spiritual bent into a high-ranking advisor post to the President of the United States. Bizarre.
Anyway, my own spiritual path seems murky at best today since the weather is a cool and a sunny 70 degrees and so a downtown patio with a view is calling my name. But before I can slide out the office door, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Prosecutors brought felony charges Monday against an Army reservist who allegedly stalked Ryan Seacrest and was arrested Friday after showing up at the E! Entertainment headquarters brandishing a knife.
"His aggressive and violent efforts to come into physical contact with me are extremely frightening to me," Seacrest wrote in a declaration for the restraining order Friday. "They have jeopardized not only my personal safety, but also the safety and well-being of those around me."
Chidi Benjamin Uzomah Jr., 25, faces up to four years in prison related to the charges, and he has entered a plea of Not Guilty. 
While Uzomah’s guilt or innocence has yet to be decided, he’s already been convicted of having extremely poor taste in choosing celebrity victims to stalk.
A three-minute audiotape of a distraught Lindsay Lohan claiming "no one cares about me" was released by RadarOnline this week.
The recording was allegedly obtained through Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan, and is supposedly several years old, according to Lindsay herself, who Tweeted on Wednesday that: "My father's such a loser . . . To release personal things is foul enough, but to edit them(?) I used to think that he needed the book for dummies on learning how to be a father. Ha ha - he needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN."
This whole Lohan clan saga has almost stopped being funny – Ha ha – but not quite yet.
Josh Duhamel and his wife Fergie denied another round of allegations from an Atlanta stripper this week who claims that she had a one-night stand with the actor.
“This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity,” says Duhamel’s rep. “This story is absolutely ridiculous.” A rep for Fergie added: “These allegations are nonsense.”
Nicole Forrester says she had sex with Duhamel in an Atlanta hotel a week after he came into the Tattletale club, where she works as a dancer. Forrester says she has text messages and a polygraph test to back her up. “We did hook up and had lots of sex and we had a really, really good time,” Forrester told Atlanta radio station Q100’s “Bert Show” on Monday. 
Duhamel remains surprised that a stripper who works at a club called the Tattletale could have such a big mouth.
Jessica Simpson ripped the new “Melrose Place” TV show this week after her sister – Ashlee Simpson – was fired from the production, allegedly due to her suspect acting abilities.
Big Sis Jessica Tweeted: "CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press...Watch til Jan.. :)"
To add credibility to her accusations of knowing bad writing, Jessica Simpson screened copies of 'The Dukes of Hazard,’ ‘Major Movie Star’ and ‘Private Valentine’ as evidence.
Mel Gibson became a father for the eighth time this week when his girlfriend, musician Oksana Grigorieva, gave birth to a baby girl, PEOPLE confirms.
"Everything is great! They couldn't be happier," a friend tells PEOPLE. "Everyone's healthy and thrilled. He loooves it!" 
Following the birth, Jon Gosselin sent Gibson a nasty letter for stealing his 8-baby celebrity thunder, claiming “it was the one thing I had going for me.”
Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were announced this week as co-hosts for the 82nd Academy Awards.
"I am happy to co-host the Oscars with my enemy Alec Baldwin," said Martin.
"I don't play the banjo but I'm thrilled to be hosting the Oscars -- it's the opportunity of a lifetime," said Baldwin. 
Meanwhile, the rest of the Baldwin brothers – William, Stephen and Daniel – are competing with each other for the role of Alec’s body double for the broadcast.
Brad Pitt made news in Tokyo this week by announcing that he is in the market for a new motorcycle after the actor wrecked his favorite bike recently in L.A. traffic.
Pitt was involved in a minor accident in Los Angeles last month after a paparazzo reportedly cut him off in traffic. He said that while he is in Tokyo he will be looking for a replacement.
"I will definitely be looking at motorcycles," he said. "You've got some of the best builders right here."
This is not news in any way, shape or form, but it was reported in numerous places this week anyway.
Kirstie Alley announced via Twitter this week that she will star in a untitled reality show on the A&E network next year that will follow Alley's life as a single mom at home with her teenage children as she launches a new weight-loss program.
She Tweeted Tuesday that show will be a "very funny docu about me losing weight, raising unpretentious kids, and biz." She later added: "I hope it's not like any real show you've ever seen.. That's my goal.. I hate reality shows, so this outta be a REAL challenge," Alley said.
The REAL challenge will be when Alley passes by a Cinnabun store while clothes shopping with her kids – now that might create some REAL drama.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
It's hard to go too wrong with Dita and you can never go wrong with stockings, so pull your own garters up high, don't be afraid to express your dominance over others and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
