2 Dollar Productions

Two Weeks or So . . .

2010-09-16T21:22:00.003-04:00

Given the limited output around here the past few months, it seems even more lame that I have been forced to take a temporary hiatus for a few weeks.

Nothing bad has occurred - just the opposite - but nonetheless I desperately need a temporary leave of absence, and like a blind man at an orgy, I'm going to have to feel my way around. Real life that is.

{Editor's Note: Above view from rooftop deck}

I will return, and look forward to catching up on what I missed at the blog stops I enjoy a hell of a lot.

Here's to a few good weeks for everyone as things slide into fall . . .

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-09-10T07:03:00.000-04:00

“Aloha, Mr. Hand” – Sean Penn, ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High'

It’s the end of summer, and yet, somehow Jeff Spicoli’s summer vibe came to me this week, probably due to Penn’s involvement in QHF.

Anyway, it’s finally stopped raining in Austin and it should be 95 degrees and sunny this weekend, so before I hit the office by 4 pm, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

The best story of week featured Britney Spears who was sued by a former security guard who alleges in a sexual harassment lawsuit that the pop star emotionally scarred him by exposing herself, insulting him and threatening to fire him over a Slurpee. Awesome.

Fernando Flores is seeking an undisclosed amount for being "humiliated and traumatized" by Spears.

In the Los Angeles Superior Court lawsuit, Flores claims Spears "made repeated unwanted sexual advances" and summoned him to her room at her house "for no other purpose or reason than to expose her naked body or near-naked body."

The Slurpee incident supposedly occurred on the way to a screening of ‘Alice in Wonderland’ when Spears asked Flores to fetch her a Slurpee. When he told her there was a 15-minute wait, she allegedly snapped, "I want my [expletive] drink! God! I'm gonna fire your ass!"

To me, this seems like a dream job: Sex and Slurpees and Spears, so I don’t really get what Flores is complaining about – just bring Spears a Slurpee and screw her on occasion and you probably get a nice, fat Christmas bonus.

Sean Penn and onetime Haitian presidential hopeful Wyclef Jean were feuding this week as Jean accused actor of doing cocaine.

Penn had previously called Jean a "non-presence" in Haiti, was called out by the singer while Jean was singing the song "President." Jean changed the lyrics of his song to say, "I got a message for Sean Penn: Maybe he ain't see me in Haiti 'cause he was too busy sniffing cocaine."

A rep for Penn said: "Mr. Jean is clearly unfamiliar with the physical demands put upon volunteers in Haiti. As aid workers there, the notion of depleting the body's immune system thru the use of illicit drugs is ludicrous. More specifically, J/P Haitian Relief Organization (a.k.a. JPHRO) has a ZERO tolerance policy for any and all illegal drugs. As the leader of this organization, Sean Penn has not only set this policy, but adheres to it. That Mr. Jean would make such a false accusation is reckless and saddening, but not surprising."

Penn added: “And that shit didn’t even rhyme! That ain’t no song.”

Angelina Jolie spoke out this week and condemned a Florida church's threat to burn copies of the Koran to mark the ninth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks.

"I have hardly the words that somebody would do that to somebody's religious book," Jolie told reporters in Pakistan, where she is visiting to help with victims of the recent floods.

I have the words, however, and most of them revolve repeatedly around “ignorant” “dipshit” and “morons.” The Church, not Jolie.

Lady Gaga's September cover of Vogue Hommes Japan will feature the singer wearing only a meat bikini. Seriously.

PETA has chimed in on the Terry Richardson-shot cover, saying "meat is something you want to avoid putting on or in your body," and that "no matter how beautifully it is presented, flesh from a tortured animal is flesh from a tortured animal."

refuse to speculate about how much meat Lady Gaga has actually put inside her body by this point in her life because I am a Gentleman.

Heidi Montag took to Twitter Tuesday to discuss her routine for keeping her breast implants "soft."

"Giving myself a soft tissue breast massage," Montag, 23, wrote. "Ladies we have to keep those breast implants soft."

My message to Montag: Don’t discriminate against Gentlemen when it comes to this chore as I’m an altruist at heart and more than willing to lend a helping hand. Or two.

In other reality show news, a U.S. judge warned "Jersey Shore" reality star Snooki this week that she was acting like troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, and also sentenced her to community service for disorderly conduct.

Snooki had pleaded guilty in August after she was arrested in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Police said she was being disorderly on the beach and was bothering patrons.

"It appears your recent celebrity has affected your judgment," judge Damian Murray told Snooki. "You seem to be acting like a Lindsay Lohan wannabe," Murray added.

This story really shows just how far Lindsay Lohan has fallen: She is now being mentioned in the same breath as Snooki.

It was announced this week that British television host Piers Morgan will replace talk-show host Larry King when King retires later this year.

The name of Morgan's CNN show has not been announced but it is being billed as a "candid, in-depth newsmaker interview program" based in New York.

Morgan’s first interview will be with an expert hired to explain to everyone just who in the hell Morgan is since I have absolutely no clue.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

I'm all about friends, especially if they are female and partially clothed. So, good luck finding some of those today, try your damndest to make this happen and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-09-03T07:03:00.001-04:00

"Natural law. Sons are put on this earth to trouble their fathers.” – Paul Newman, ‘Road to Perdition’

Great line. Great Blu Ray transfer of that movie. Very good – though not quite great – film. Oh well, it was fun to watch it again after so many years, and it is always good to see Paul Newman.

Since it’s still hovering at 100 degrees in Austin, I plan to do some of my laboring inside this long weekend, but before I hit the door by 3 p.m. – screw it – let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

It was a damn slow week in Hollywood, but the big news was Paris Hilton: More specifically her cocaine arrest in Las Vegas this past weekend.

On Monday, Hilton was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance, and she is set to be arraigned Oct. 27.

It happened like this (from Las Vegas Police files): After Paris Whitney Hilton and her boyfriend Cy Waits were pulled over in the Cadillac Escalade they were driving, they were taken into the Wynn Hotel because she was "extremely embarrassed" by the gathering crowd and she had to "use the bathroom badly."

At the hotel, Paris needed lip balm, so a policeman handed her a purse and out fell "a small bindle" of cocaine. There was also a "broken tablet of Albuterol" -- a prescription medication used to control wheezing -- in the bag and Zig Zag wrappers, commonly used to roll marijuana joints.

Hilton claimed that the purse and the cocaine were not hers, and that she had
"borrowed it from a friend."

Hilton also told the Police she didn’t use the cocaine to get high, she just liked the way it smelled.

A few days later, it was announced that Paris Hilton was banned from two Wynn resorts on the Las Vegas Strip.

Wynn Resorts Ltd. spokeswoman Jennifer Dunne said Hilton is barred from Wynn Las Vegas and Encore.

This sounds like a Wynn-Wynn situation to me (ouch) for the resorts since Hilton never eats anything inside them and only gambles when she uses the public restrooms inside the hotels.

Lindsay Lohan sent a cease and desist legal letter to her father – Michael Lohan – this week ordering him to stop selling her personal property, RadarOnline.com reported.

Lohan accused her father of attempting to sell her private diary entries she wrote while in drug rehabilitation at Cirque Lodge in Utah, in 2007.

It was really just the same entry repeated over and over again on different days, and all of them read: Tried to turn my toilet bowl water into Vodka again today, but still tastes totally gross.

Conan O'Brien announced the name of his upcoming Late Night show on TBS this week – it will be called “Conan.”

"Conan" debuts Nov. 8.

The title is sure to infuriate a small but vocal legion of fans who tune in Nov 8th and expect to see Conan the Barbarian, however, O’Brien has agreed to wear only a loin cloth for his first week on the job to ease the burden.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

I love some nice leggings and the rest of the body is fine with me as well. So, don’t bother crossing your legs today, never feel bad about getting a firm grip on yourself and . . . Happy Friday and Happy Labor Day Weekend!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-08-27T07:05:00.001-04:00

"Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky.” – John C. Reilly, ‘Step Brothers’

I’m not entirely sure just how universal that is, however, I do like me some beef jerky now and again.

Anyway, before I hit the door by 4 pm and enjoy the balmy 98 degree temperature outside (finally under 100), let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Tiger Woods and his Swedish wife Elin Nordegren finalized their divorce this week.

Terms were not disclosed, however, a statement from their lawyers read: "We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future.”

Off-record, Nordegren elaborated with, “Yeah, I wish that cheating bastard the very best with his future whores, porn stars, nightclub workers and pancake house waitresses who he chooses to bang. I’ll just lie naked on my pile of divorce money.”

{Editor’s Note: The above statement was not found on the court records.}

Lindsay Lohan was released early from rehab on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, a judge gave her a rigorous probation program: four psychotherapy sessions, two addiction counseling sessions and five 12-step meetings a week.

He also dismissed two cocaine charges from her back-to-back 2007 DUI cases and said she can go on unsupervised probation in November if she follows the rules.

"It appears she is very serious about her sobriety," Superior Court Judge Elden Fox said.

Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, said: "She looks forward to proving to the court and (prosecutors) that she is serious...She has learned her lesson and wants to move on in a positive way."

Lohan later Tweeted: “As long as I don’t test POSTIVE on a future drug test, I’ll be moving on all right. Sniff.”

Paris Hilton called police on Tuesday after seeing a man wielding two large knives and banging on her windows outside her Los Angeles home. Seriously.

"So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting him," Hilton said in a Twitter message.

Police confirmed they had arrested a man in his 40s who appeared to have been trying to break in.

Sounds like the company currently suing Hilton for not wearing their hair extensions (see last week’s QHF) sent out an enforcer to take off her illegal extensions once and for all.

Heidi Montag spoke out this week amidst her impending divorce from Spencer Pratt to tell Life & Style magazine that she also wants to get rid of her G-sized breast implants.

Montag said: "I'm desperate to go back to normal. I'm downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D."

In other words, Montag wants to broaden her career prospects from Porn Star to Porn Star and/or Stripper. Good choice Heidi.

Anna Paquin married her True Blood co-star Stephen Moyer this week.

The couple exchanged vows in a romantic sunset ceremony at a private residence in California. Guests included co-stars from the vampire drama including Sam Trammell and Carrie Preston as well as Elijah Wood.

When asked how the ceremony, most respondents agreed that it Sucked.

Jennifer Aniston finalized a deal to guest star on her former "Friends" star Courteney Cox's current television comedy series, "Cougar Town," this week.

Aniston will appear in the show's second-season premiere airing September 22. She will play a therapist giving advice to Cox's character.

Someone desperately needs to give Aniston advice on choosing her movie career, but I’m afraid that ship has sailed.

Pop star George Michael pleaded guilty Tuesday to drug offenses and a judge suspended his license for six months.

This stemmed from an incident where Michael crashed into a photo shop and was found slumped at the wheel. In court, Michael admitted driving under the influence of drugs and possession of cannabis following the July 4 crash.

"It is a serious matter. Your driving was extremely poor and there was an accident," said Judge Robin McPhee.

Stop being my Father Figure,” Michaels shouted at the judge, who replied, “If you want your Freedom Mr. Michael, then get the Monkey Off Your Back and have some Faith in yourself man.”

{Editor’s Note: I’ve used some version of that line in the past, however, I can’t think of anything Michaels has done in the past decade except get in vehicular accidents while on drugs. Selah.}

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

It’s still hot as hell in Austin, so some water and gauzy sheets and nudity would all be welcomed. So, beat the heat today, indulge inside or out and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-08-20T07:09:00.001-04:00

“I could have killed 'em all, I could kill you. In town you're the law, out here it's me.” – Sly Stallone, ‘Rambo: First Blood’

I had to give some acknowledgment to Sly for coming in Number 1 last week at the box office with ‘The Expendables.’ At some point, I will see that guilty pleasure, probably at the theater in town where you can get a beer along with your movie ticket.

Personally, I’ll try to stay above the law this weekend, but before I hit the door by 4 p.m. and brave the 103 degree temperature, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Mel Gibson was uninjured after crashing his sports car into a Malibu hillside this week.

Gibson's spokesman Alan Nierob said that the actor-director was doing fine, and that authorities do not suspect alcohol was involved.

Road rage against women, Jews, African-Americans, whores and people in general, however, has not been ruled out as a cause.

Betty White announced this week that she will write two books reflecting on everything from aging, sex and her animal friends at the zoo.

"Much as I love what I do for a living in show business, I love writing even more -- so I am thrilled to be working on not only one new book but two of them," White said.

I would follow White almost anywhere – except if she combines sex, aging and animals into a singular story. I sincerely hope that is not the case.

Michael Douglas announced he has throat cancer and will undergo eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy this week.

Douglas is expected to make a full recovery, and told People.com he's "very optimistic."

I really hope that is the case because nobody says “Greed is good” quite as well as Douglas.

Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, was killed in a single-car accident Monday in Los Angeles.

Ryan performed 10 plastic surgery procedures on Montag, 23, in one day last year.

"I am devastated to hear the news of Dr. Frank Ryan's death," Montag wrote on Twitter. "He was the most amazing person I have ever known. He was an angel and changed my life and the lives of everyone he met. He was the most brilliant talented surgeon who will ever exist. Dr. Frank Ryan changed the world."

I refuse to laugh at anyone’s untimely demise, but Montag is another matter entirely, so I think her statement is a bit grandiose and “Dr. Frank Ryan changed my entire face and body so much that my own mother doesn’t even recognize me” is actually more accurate.

‘Jersey Shore’ star Snooki was charged with disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance at a court hearing this, but prosecuters also added another charge to her list: annoying people on a beach.

Seriously. That is a crime in New Jersey.

Snooki’s attorney, however, entered not guilty pleas to all three charges, which relate to an arrest July 30 for being intoxicated in public.

Snooki better hope that the judge doesn’t allow the prosecution to show every single episode of ‘Jersey Shore’ or she will be found guilty as charged for annoying people on the beach, on the street and virtually anywhere on the planet.

Steven Tyler -- frontman for Aerosmith, - was officially added as an "American Idol" judge this week.

Fox had planned to add a female judge following the departure of Paula Abdul and Ellen Degeneres over the past two years, however, in their negotiation meetings, Tyler’s reps kept insisting that the ‘Dude Looks Like a Lady.’

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

I’m all about secrets and today, I guess dark hair is dominating the action. So, whisper sweet nothings to a friend of your choice, don’t concern yourself with putting on all your clothes and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-08-13T08:34:00.004-04:00

“It’s all ball bearings these days!” – Chevy Chase, ‘Fletch’

I’ve heard there are actually t-shirts with that statement printed on them, although there are so many great lines from ‘Fletch’ that it’s hard to really pick the best one.

Anyway, I plan to get my bearings straight today and get out of the office by 4 p.m. and watch a baseball game in the August heat, but before that happens, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Laurence Fishburne's daughter - Montanna – has decided to star in a porn flick for exposure. Seriously.

TMZ.com reported that the Fisbourne’s friends tried to offer Vivid Entertainment $1 million to stop shipment of the DVDs, however, Vivid president Steve Hirsch told TMZ "it was too late. We continue to have the utmost respect for all involved."
Montana told TMZ she is glad the tapes will still hit shelves Tuesday.

"This is something I want to do," she said. "I know they're doing it out of concern for me, but I want people to see it. I want people to buy my movie, so I am happy they didn't buy it all.”

Unlike Morpehus in the ‘Matrix’ movies, I bet Fishbourne wasn’t nearly so excited about people being offered the “Blue Pill” on the set of Montana’s movie.

Jennifer Lopez will not be the next ‘American Idol’ judge it was reported this week.

People magazine reported Wednesday that Lopez’s demands were too great.

"Her demands got out of hand," a source told People. "Fox had just had enough."

The tipping point was when her Ass demanded it’s own trailer and entourage.

Bill O'Reilly went after Jennifer Aniston this week after the actress said that women don’t need men to have kids.

On a press tour for her new movie – ‘The Switch’ – Anniston said: “Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child."

O’Reilly became inflamed by that and stated on his show that: "She's throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that, 'Hey you don't need a guy. You don't need a dad,'" he ranted on his FOX News show this week. "That is destructive to our society."

If Aniston is considered destructive to our society, then O’Reilly’s gas-bag proclamations pose an imminent threat which could destroy the entire planet. It’s all relative . . .

Paris Hilton is being sued for allegedly wearing someone else's hair extensions. Seriously.

Hairtech International is seeking $35 million dollars in damages for fraud as they claim that Paris Hilton breached her contract to wear and promote their product when she sported the fake locks of a competitor in 2008.

Hilton was busted when she forgot to cut the tags off her extensions before leaving her mansion to go clubbing.

Levi Johnston was peddling a reality TV show this week to networks that would have him running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska – the same office that Sarah Palin once held. Seriously.

The show's announcement came a few days after Bristol Palin broke off her second engagement to Johnston citing his insatiable thirst for the limelight.

"The more I think about it and look into it, I think there's a possibility we can make it happen," Johnston told Variety.com.

I never actually thought I would side with Sarah Palin on any subject or issue, however, I am in agreement that Johnston is an incredible douchebag.

It was announced this week that Britney Spears will cameo in an episode of TV musical comedy "Glee" that will be devoted to the pop star's music.

"Britney, I think 100 percent, is going to be on the episode. She is going to join us for a couple of scenes," ‘Glee’ creater Ryan Murphy said in an interview with Los Angeles DJ Ryan Seacrest.

Murphy did not say what character Spears, 28, would play in the episode, which he described as "reverential...and so kind...We are handling Britney with kid gloves".

The use of gloves is largely due to Spears being constantly covered with a fine layer of Cheeto dust.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

Skin tones can vary, but the showing of skin is a very good thing. So bare a little epidermis today, wear a big smile while doing it and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-08-06T07:04:00.000-04:00

“How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?” – Kevin Spacey, ‘The Usual Suspects’

Spacey is phenomenal in that movie, and the entire cast is top-notch along with the script. The ‘Usual Suspects’ also seemed fitting for this week’s stories since Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen and others are recurring characters around here. Selah.

Anyway, before I hit the door by 4 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan was released from jail this week and sent straight to a rehab facility.

Lohan served 14 days of a 90-day sentence, getting out early because of jail overcrowding.

Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said that "she has been sent directly to her next destination, which is a treatment center, and she will now be under the supervision of the LA County Probation Department."

Lohan’s parents stated that “it’s finally good Lindsay will be under the supervision of somebody, anybody.”

Charlie Sheen reached a plea deal with prosecutors this week that will allow him to avoid jail time for a Christmas Day assault on his wife and also won't require him to do his public service close to Aspen.

Sheen pleaded guilty Monday to misdemeanor third-degree assault in exchange for prosecutors dropping two other more serious charges, including a felony charge of menacing. He was sentenced to 30 days in a rehabilitation center, 30 days of probation and 36 hours of anger management.

Sheen's attorney, Yale Galanter, said the actor has already spent 93 days at Promises this year and the center could choose to credit that time toward his sentence.

This doesn’t seem entirely fair since Sheen spends at least ¼ of every year at a rehab center, but then again, supposedly justice is blind.

Justin Bieber – 16 year old pop start – signed a deal with HarperCollins to publish an illustrated memoir titled "Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story.”

The book is due out in October in both the United States and United Kingdom.

"Every day I wake up and count my blessings," Bieber said in the statement. "My fans have played such a large part in all of this and they help me live my dreams every day. I'm excited to share just a little bit more of my world with them through this book."

Every day I wake up and feel blessed that I will never have to read Bieber’s memoir nor listen to his music.

In other music news, Lady Gaga poses nearly nude on the forthcoming issue of ‘Vanity Fair’ and inside talks about her sex drive.

Gaga told the magazine that she avoids having sex because she is afraid of depleting her creative energy. “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my [technical name for private parts],” she admits.

Am I the only one who finds Gaga pretty damn unattractive when stripped of her crazy outfits? If not, that might also have something to do with her lack of sexual activity.

{Editor's Note: She does look pretty good on that cover.}

Three weeks after announcing their re-engagement, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston called it off again this week, according to People magazine.

"He's just obsessed with the limelight," Bristol Palin said in a teary interview, "and I got played."

But Johnston's lawyer said he doubts the couple is truly broken up for good. "These young folk have a lot of pressure on them right now," said Rex Butler. "All you have to do is watch that show 'Bridezillas' -- it's on and off, on and off, depending on the pressures."

How do you say White Trash in Wasillian?

Gisele Bundchen gave an interview to Harper’s Bazaar this week where she stated some very strong views on the virtues of breastfeeding.

Bundchen told the British magazine that all women should be forced to breast-feed.

"I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breast-feed their babies for six months," said Bundchen, 30.

I’m in semi-agreement with Bundchen as I think there should be a worldwide law that Bundchen should breastfeed for six months every year, and also not discriminate against anyone based on age, race or sexual orientation.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

Life is all about angles or at least partially. So, know your good side today, flaunt it out in the open and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend. Again.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-07-30T07:06:00.001-04:00

“Dying ain’t much of a way to make a living son,” – Clint Eastwood, ‘The Outlaw Josey Wales”

Amen. I could probably run Eastwood movie quotes for the remainder of the year and not exhaust them, however, that one came to mind this week for some reason or another.

Anyway, I don’t feel like my expiration tag is up today, and instead, plan to get my work done and hit the door by 4 p.m. and finally catch ‘Inception.’ But before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

I can’t really keep track of the Mel Gibson tapes anymore, but the latest one this week had him disparaging ex James Bond actor Timothy Dalton, among other things.

Dalton had previously dated Gibson ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

“Did you get my last message about me being a bad father and Tim being a great dad?” Gibson allegedly asks Grigorieva. “You didn’t hear that one? Well, you should go (expletive) him because I don’t care,” he says.

Gibson finished the rant by explicitly suggesting that Oksana go have sex with another man in front of her 12-year-old son, Sascha.

It’s amazing to be able to watch the human brain unravel right before your eyes (and mostly your ears).

If it’s not Gibson in the news, it’s Lindsay Lohan, and this week Lohan was looking at her post-jail sentence, which is a mandatory three months in rehab.

Prosecutors confirmed Tuesday that Lohan must report to an L.A.-based rehab facility 24 hours after her release from jail, which likely will be Sunday or Monday. Her attorney, however, was concerned that "there's a push now for her to go directly to rehab from jail."

Whereas Lohan would strongly prefer to go directly from jail to the nearest bar or nightclub.

Kanye West joined Twitter this week, which was apparently news for some reason or another. It was obviously a slow week.

West also premiered upcoming songs at the Facebook headquarters in Palo Alto, CA.

"I've been writing new stuff for the new album and I've just got a couple raps that I really like, so I thought it'd be cool just to say them for you all," Kanye said at the HQ.

Wonderful - if there’s one thing that Kanye West has been lacking for years it is more social forums to talk about himself. Just ask Taylor Swift.

Isaiah Mustafa – the star of the popular ‘Old Spice’ television commericals – announced this week that he has landed a role in a forthcoming Jennifer Anniston movie.

Mustafa will join the cast of the film "Horrible Bosses," starring Aniston, Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Jason Sudeikis and Jason Bateman, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

There’s no word about whether or not Mustafa will be on a horse in the film.

{Editor’s Note: If you haven’t seen the commercials then the above comment makes absolutely no sense. It also shows the dearth of news stories this week. Selah.}

Amanda Bynes, who last month retired from acting via Twitter at the ripe old age of 24, came out of retirement just this week. Amazing.

Bynes Tweeted: "I'm unretired.” That was all.

Bynes was driven to return to the workforce when she was repeatedly turned away from the Early Bird Special lines at restaurants near her condo in South Florida.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

A little oil and bare skin feels right this time of year. So, apply lubrication liberally today, be careful not to slide too far from shore and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-07-23T07:12:00.001-04:00

“You got a joint man? It’d be a lot cooler if you did,” - Matthew McConaughey, ‘Dazed and Confused’

That movie is terrifically underrated and it might be McConaughey’s first and best role to date, although how much of it was purely acting is certainly debatable.

Anyway, I’ve got tons of obligations this weekend – classes and parties and chores – but before I hit the door by 4:10 p.m, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan surrendered Tuesday for a 90-day jail sentence that is likely to be whittled down by overcrowding and other credits.

Lohan was sentenced to jail, three months in rehab and increased scrutiny by probation officials on July 6 after Lohan violated her probation by missing mandatory alcohol education classes.

Her lawyer – Shawn Chapman Holley – was her first visitor, and told People magazine: “Understandably, Lindsay's having a difficult time adjusting as it would be for anyone . . . There were some tears."

Unfortunately, Lohan tried to bottle and drink her tears because they smelled like vodka, however, prison guards ultimately restrained her.

A temporary restraining order was granted to Jennifer Aniston this week against a man who authorities allege traveled cross-country in a delusional attempt to marry her.

Court documents show that police detained Jason R. Peyton last week after finding him with a sharp object, duct tape and love notes to the "Friends" star. The 24-year-old was placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold by Los Angeles police.

The court filings also stated that Peyton has said he won't stop his pursuit of Aniston.

Peyton would if he watched ‘The Bounty Hunter.’ Or ‘Love Happens.’ Or ‘Rumor Has It.’ Or . . . really any of her movies outside of ‘The Good Girl.’

The cast of "Jersey Shore" went on a mini-strike this week as they refused to shoot scenes for a third season of the MTV series but then later reached a deal with MTV to continue the series, according to reports.

The cast will now reportedly earn between $20,000 - $30,000 per episode.

The cast had originally asked to be paid in tanning beds, hair gel, and waxing strips because “that’s as good – no better than money - yo!”

New York City police arrested rapper-actor Ice-T on accusations of driving with a suspended license this week.

Police stopped him for not wearing a seat belt, and ran a check and discovered his license was suspended and he had expired insurance. Ice-T was taken into custody and released soon afterward.

But he was not happy about it, and Twittered afterwards: "Some punk bitch rookie cop named Fisher #10026 made the arrest of his bullshit career today. Arresting the Notorious Ice-T for no seat belt."

I believe that Ice T is suffering from delusions of grandeur, and besides, is there anything less gangster than being arrested for not wearing a seatbelt? Maybe jaywalking.

Katy Perry unveiled the cover of her upcoming album this week: an image pulled from a recently completed Will Cotton painting of Perry lying nude on a cotton-candy cloud.

"I have decided for this to be just the album cover — no print, no nothing, no 'Katy Perry,' " she added. "Hopefully they know it's me by the actual picture."

The album notes will also smell like cotton candy when opened, Perry announced.

Perry didn’t announce, however, if the album will be as sticky as she often appears to be.

"Victoria's Secret" model Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom recently were married in a secret ceremony, their reps confirmed this week.

I suppose if I was marrying Bloom I would keep it a secret too.

As always, let's end with a gold image or two:

One a bit high brow and the other a little tackier, however, I refuse to discriminate. So, enjoy the range of differences today, don't get bogged down by the heat and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-07-16T07:05:00.001-04:00

"Ain't remembering wonderful," Jeff Bridges, 'Crazy Heart'

Great line, great performance by Bridges, but in the end, only a pretty good movie - at least for me. And I like that kind of music. Selah.

Anyway, I don’t plan on remembering a whole lot this weekend as I am hosting a sprawling movie night screening of ‘Dazed and Confused’ at my loft tonight (along with the appropriate party favors) before heading out for an overnight trip to San Antonio with Mrs. $2 Dollar the following day (and I don’t plan to Remember the Alamo per se during that trip).

But before I leave the office by 4:10 pm today to ensure I place my pizza and cupcake order for the screening tonight, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Roman Polanksi was declared a free man this week when the Swiss government rejected a U.S. request to extradite him on a charge of having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl.

"The 76-year-old French-Polish film director Roman Polanski will not be extradited to the USA," the ministry said in a statement. "The freedom-restricting measures against him have been revoked."

The Justice Ministry also said that “national interests” were taken into consideration in the decision.

The thing that wasn’t taken into account: Polanski’s extreme interest in underage girls.

A lawyer who met with Lindsay Lohan said this week that the actress still isn't fully aware of her dire jail situation.

"My impression of Lindsay is that she's a fragile lost child – a sleeping beauty with her head in the sand. I found her not fully forewarned of the consequence of her actions," Stuart V. Goldberg, who was contacted by Lohan after her attorney resigned said.

Maybe it’s Goldberg who needs help since Lohan ha neither slept nor been a beauty for many years thanks to all the drugs and partying.

Edward Norton was dropped from his role as The Incredible Hulk this week as the actor was due to reprise his role for ‘The Avengers’ movie, which has yet to be filmed.

Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige suggested that Norton wasn't a team player and wouldn't have worked as part of the movie's ensemble cast. Edward Norton's agent calls Marvel statement "unprofessional, disingenuous and clearly defamatory"

Norton’s agent also stated: “Don’t make him angry, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.”

The Mel Gibson saga continued this week as The William Morris Endeavor agency dropped the actor as a client, and then later, other tapes were leaked where Gibson threatened ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and later disparaged Hispanics by using the term ‘wetback.’ Clear?

RadarOnline.com, posted an eight-minute phone argument between Gibson and Grigorieva where a voice that sounds like Gibson’s is heard telling Grigorieva that she "deserved" to be hit after she chastised him for allegedly punching her in the face and breaking two of her teeth.

Alan Nierob, a spokesman for Gibson, declined comment on the tape.

Who knew that the ‘Lethal Weapon’ in Mel’s career would be his mouth, eh?

John Stamos took the stand this week in his extortion trial (two people are accussed of blackmailing the actor for money) to discuss allegations of cocaine and strippers.

Defense attorney Sarah Henderson says Coss (defendant) and a pal (allegedly both strippers) went to the actor's hotel room with a bag of cocaine and took pics of him bending over a table where the drugs were. Stamos later offered oral sex, but Coss declined.

The “Full House” star admitted that he met Coss at Pleasure Island in Orlandho, however, prosecutors said that no photos exist.

Uncle Jesse – we hardly knew ye . . .

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz tied the knot in the Bahamas earlier this month, their publicist confirmed this week.

The wedding took place at a friend's house, and was a small ceremony with just family members present.

I’ve got no joke for Cruz and Bardem as I kind of dig them as both actors and as a couple.

In less interesting matrimonial news, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston said they're engaged and hope to get married within six weeks in Alaska.

Palin is featured on the cover of the current Us Weekly with Johnston, holding their 18-month-old son, Tripp. They told they reconnected while working out a custody plan and became engaged two weeks ago.

Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, said in a statement on NBC's "Today" show Tuesday that they want what's best for their children and that Bristol believes in "redemption and forgiveness."

The statement continued: "Personally, we believe in castration, however, we will accept Bristol's and the good Lord's judgement in this matter. Amen."

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

I feel like I've been running behind all week, so these pics seemed appropriate. I suppose. So get your ass in gear today, be careful of strangers on the balconey and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-07-09T07:08:00.001-04:00

"Everything's illegal in Massachusetts," - Mel Gibson, 'Edge of Darkness'

In a bit of irony, I had 'Edge' in my Netflix queue after last week's QHF flogging of Gibson. It was a decent little movie (not great, not bad), however, it just irritated me that Gibson seems to be such an incredible fuck-knuckle in real life and that is bleeding over to his films now – at least for me. Selah.

Anyway, I don't plan to engage in too many illegal activities this weekend since my parent's are visiting. But before I leave the office by 4:15 p.m., let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan sobbed as she was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab in a Beverly Hills court room this week.

Lohan was in court to explain why she violated probation in a 2007 DUI case by missing weekly alcohol-education classes. She also caused a bit of controversy with her fingernail polish, which seemed to spell out ‘Fuck you.’ Maybe.

"I did everything I was told to do, I thought I was being compliant," Lohan said. "I did do everything I was told to do. ... I'm not taking this as a joke, it's my life and career. I don't want you to think I don't respect you and your terms."

Lohan is going to learn the true meaning of the word “respect” when she’s in prison . . .

But Lohan spent one of her few remaining days as a free woman Twittering that she is the victim of "cruel and unusual punishment."

Lohan also cited Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights and its prohibition against "torture" and "inhuman or degrading treatment."

Actually, “inhuman or degrading treatment” would have entailed being sentenced to watch the last 5 or 6 films that Lohan has starred in.

Last season’s ‘The Bachelor’ couple - Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi – gave their first post-split interview this week and it was ugly.

During a special segment on Monday's "The Bachelorette," Girardi stormed out in tears, called Jake a "fame whore" and for his part, Jake on his own admitted to withholding sex in the relationship for somewhat unexplained and bizarre reasons.

If two crazy kids seeking fame on a television show while simultaneously screwing around with multiple partners in exotic locales can’t make it work these days, then I fear no relationship is strong enough to last the test of time.

Prince told a British newspaper this week that the Internet was “dead” and compared it to MTV to make his point.

"At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated," he told the Mirror. "Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good."

“Except for my neon purple rotating vibrator,” Prince later added.

In other UK news, British singer George Michael was arrested - again -after his car hit a building on a road in north London, police said on Tuesday.

"The man aged in his 40s was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive," a spokesman said. Michael was taken to a north London police station and later bailed out.

The best example of ‘Faith’ currently hovering in the universe rests with the insurance agent who continues to insure Michael’s cars.

Levi Johnston acknowledged telling lies about Sarah Palin and her family this week and apologized. He didn't specify which of his previous statements were not true.

Johnston told People magazine that since his untrue statements were made in public, "I owe it to the Palins to publicly apologize."

But the Palin’s still plan to make inappropriate Johnson jokes behind closed doors.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

It’s summer and getting outside in nature seems like a moral imperative. So enjoy the elements with or without fabric, soak it all up and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit 4th Friday . . .

2010-07-02T09:14:00.001-04:00

"God, I can't even tell you how much I'm not your little bunny.” – Megan Fox, “Transformers”

God, I wish Megan Fox would have told that same thing to Brian Austin Green, but I’m skipping ahead of myself. Anyway, it’s a long holiday weekend and I plan to spend it where I always do: At my grandparents house, out in the country, with loads of fireworks and even more fried chicken, brisket, potato salad and chiggers. Selah.

It should be a good time . . .

But before I can leave my house (working from home – theoretically), let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

There has been mounting drama between Mel Gibson and his ex, Grigorieva as there were accusations that he had taken out a restraining order against her.

This week, however, Grigorieva said: “There is no restraining order against me, but my lawyers went to court and a judge granted a restraining order against him,” she told the paper. “There are so many lies being said about me. I was trying to keep things dignified and be respectful to the father of my daughter, but what he is doing is cruelty.”

To which Gibson responded with: “Cruelty, you don’t know what cruelty is sugar tits. Not until you’ve been split open from the groin in front of a large crowd of spectators while you cry out for Freedom.”

{Editor’s Note: Go rent ‘Braveheart’ if the above makes no sense to you.}

That was a semi-funny story until later in the week when reports surfaced that Gibson had hurled loads of racist/misogynist/despicable insults at Oksana Grigorieva and she recorded them somehow.

According to Radaronline, a few of them were:

* "You're an embarrassment to me," Mel told her at one point. "You look like a f---ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n-------, it will be your fault."

* "How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f----ing nice."

* "I am going to come and burn the f---ing house down ... but you will [have oral sex with] me first."

A rep for Gibson didn't immediately comment.

This is no longer a funny story even if the blowjob in a burning house threat is a somewhat amusing image.

Megan Fox actually married Brian Austin Green as it was confirmed this week that the pair got hitched in Hawaii.

Green's 8-year-old son, Kassius, attended the small, private ceremony held at the Four Seasons hotel on Hawaii's Big Island.

I tried desperately to attend the nuptials - mostly so I could shout out my objections when that part came up - however, the security detail in Hawaii was far more stringent than I anticipated.

Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil was arrested Monday morning on suspicion of a DUI in Las Vegas, TMZ reported.

Neil was arrested and taken to the Clark County Jail with bail set at $2,000.

Neil kept screaming at the officers “Stop killing Dr. Feelgood’s buzz you bunch of pigs,” which didn’t help his case at all.

Sandra Bullock finalized her divorce from Jesse James this week as the duo signed their divorce papers in Texas, TMZ.com reported.

Bullock filed for divorce on April 23 a month after tabloid reports began to circulate that James slept with Michelle (Bombshell) McGee. Despite their separation, James told TMZ.com last week that he is moving to Austin, TX, so that his three kids can continue their relationship with Bullock.

His kids might be around Bullock, however, the divorce papers clearly stipulated that she will “no longer be known to anyone as Jesse’s Girl.”

Larry King announced this week that he will end his 25 year run as the host of “Larry King Live” later this year.

"I said, 'I can't top this,' " King recalled in an interview Tuesday. "I'm not getting younger. I want more time with other things. It's time to go."

King plans to spend most of his impending free time searching for vintage suspenders and sleeping with younger women.

{Editor’s Note: I really hope King signs off his last show by saying “It’s good to be the King.”}

Britney Spears has designed her first collection of clothing and accessories for the Iconix Brand Group Inc's Candie's brand .

The juniors' collection, called "Britney for Candie's," will be sold exclusively in Kohl's Department stores.

"Designing was a really fun, new way for me to express my creativity and I really wanted to create something by me for my fans," Spears said in a statement.

My hope is that the entire collection will be variations on Britney’s schoolgirl outfits from her “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video.

Steve Carell told E! Online this past week that he will be leaving the TV show “The Office” after its upcoming seventh season concludes.

"I just think it's time," Carell told E! "I want to fulfill my contract. When I first signed on I had a contract for seven seasons, and this coming year is my seventh. I just thought it was time for my character to go."

Apparently there is not a shred of awkwardness left that Carell can wring out of that character, which is probably a good thing.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

A little bit arty can be enjoyable if administered in the proper doses. So, enjoy the holiday weekend, don’t bit off more than you can chew and . . . Happy Friday and Happy 4th of July weekend Everyone!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-06-25T07:06:00.001-04:00

"Well, it was a great lunch and enema, thanks. " - Steve Martin, "L.A. Story"

I spent half the week in Santa Monica on business, and I had largely forgotten how great the weather was out there. I passed on the chance for an enema.

Anyway, I might have missed some hugely important stories due to travel, but regardless, before I hit the door by 4:25 p.m. today, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Kim Kardashian was rumored to be dating another NFL player after her relationship with running back Reggie Bush ended earlier this year.

Kardashian has lately been spotted with Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin. An insider was quoted as saying: “They met at a restaurant in L.A. a few months ago and exchanged numbers and have been talking ever since. They’ve had a few dates and it’s going really well. They’re taking it slow. She thinks he’s a really good guy. He’s really sweet to her…He thinks Kim is his dream girl.”

It somehow seems more fitting for Kardashian to be dating a Wide Receiver versus a Running Back for some strange reason.

It was announced Wednesday that Al Gore will not be facing charges of sexual harassment stemming from a claim by a masseuse that he tried to initiate "unwanted sexual contact" with her nearly 4 years ago in a downtown Portland hotel, where he was reportedly staying under the pseudonym "Mr. Stone." Clear?

Multnomah County District Attorney Michael Schrunk said the woman refused to be interviewed by detectives and didn't want the investigation to continue.

In a transcript of the initial interview released by police, the massage therapist said she was doing requested abdominal work on Gore. She claimed he started to moan, demanded she go lower, and later grabbed her hand and shoved it toward his pubic area.

Gore also kept repeating over and over again, "Mr. Stone is hard as a rock and demands release."

Jake Pavelka and Vienna Giraldi, the couple who met and became engaged on the latest 'The Bachelor', have broken up and called off their engagement, according to Pavelka's spokeswoman.

Janice Lee said "Jake and Vienna have split. They appreciate the respect for their privacy at this time." No additional details were provided.

I love it when reality show contestants suddenly ask for their "privacy" in times like this . . .

Val Kilmer was awarded a permit this week to turn his New Mexico ranch into a bed and breakfast establishment. Seriously.

Commissioners in San Miguel County agreed to let the actor turn his 5,970-acre Ranch into a B&B after he apologized to his neighbors for trashing the state in past magazine articles. Kilmer said at the hearing that he understood people getting upset "when you hear negative things about a place you love."

Kilmer also presented his proposed menu at the hearing - breakfasts which reportedly will include dishes such as Top Gun waffles with sausage Sliders on the side, however, he has promised there will be "absolutely no Mavericks in the kitchen" or he will "personally cook their Goose."

'Lord of the Rings' star Orlando Bloom got engaged to Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr this week.

The British actor's rep confirmed the news to People magazine on Monday. The couple have been dating for about three years.

I guess Bloom finally gave Kerr one ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them . . .

Amanda Bynes announced her retirement from acting this week via Twitter. She is 24 years old.

Bynes got her start on Nickelodeon with "All That" and later her own show, "The Amanda Show," before later moving over to the WB network.

She wrote on Twitter: "Being an actress isn't as fun as it may seem. If I don't love something anymore I stop doing it. I don't love acting anymore so I've stopped doing it." "I know 24 is a young age to retire but you heard it here first," she tweeted. "I've #retired."

It's too bad that Bynes retired before I could figure out just who in the hell she was.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

It's been awhile since we've turned frontal again, and variety is always a good thing. So, pick your appropriate size today, don't discriminate against any of them and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-06-18T07:07:00.001-04:00

"Don't fuck with the babysitter," - Elizabeth Shue, 'Adventures in Babysitting'

I really enjoyed that movie as a kid, although I have nagging doubts about how it would hold up today as I seem to remember one scene where Shue starts singing the babysitting blues in a Chicago nightclub. Oh well . . .

I'll hold off on the blues today, and instead, focus on the positives and try to hit the door by 4:25 p.m. Before that can happen, however, we must look at the hard stories of the week such as:

It was confirmed this week that Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart were married in New Mexico.

Gov. Bill Richardson confirmed to The Associated Press on Wednesday that the couple were married at the governor’s mansion in Santa Fe.

During the exchanging of vows, Flockhart emotionally told Ford: “I love you,” and he replied with a smirk, “I know.”

Megan Fox and former 'Beverly Hills 90210' star Brian Austin Green are engaged to be married – again.

"Yes, she is engaged," a rep for the actress told PEOPLE.

Fox and Green were initially engaged in November 2006, but called it off in February 2009 - a decision which was said to be "mutual."

The delay was caused by Green needing more time to collect his ‘90210’ syndication money so he could afford a ring for Fox.

Seinfeld’ co-creator and ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ star Larry David and his ex-wife Laurie David were both denying reports that surfaced this week claiming that Laurie had an affair with Al Gore. Seriously.

Star magazine report based on "an insider," saying she and Al Gore had an affair, adding to the breakup of his 40-year marriage to Tipper Gore.

Laurie David issued a statement: "The rumor is completely and totally untrue. I adore Al and Tipper and consider them part of my family. I'm in a committed relationship and couldn't be happier."

The ‘Inconvenient Truth’ is that it’s true – it’s all true – and Gore picked her up with the line: “Let’s create a little global warming together under my satin sheets.”

A judge sentenced a man to two years behind bars for stalking "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest this week.

Chidi Uzomah Jr, 26, had pleaded no contest to stalking. Uzomah was arrested in October 2009 at the offices of E! entertainment and he had a pocket-knife with him.

He told the judge he would have used a bigger knife, but "Ryan is so small that a pocket knife was more fitting."

Perez Hilton posted a fake and compromising image of Miley Cyrus on Twitter this week.

The celebrity blogger posted a picture of the 17-year-old Cyrus in which she appeared to have no underwear on while climbing out of a car. The picture was a fake and later removed after an Internet outcry which suggested that Hilton should face child pornography charges.

Perez responded with: "Do you think I am stupid enough to post a real photo of Miley not wearing any underwear? Sure I like to be controversial, but I don't want to go to jail.”

Yes, yes I do believe that Hilton is indeed that stupid.

A Mercedes-Benz owned by Charlie Sheen was stolen this week and pushed off Mulholland Drive. This is the second such incident with Sheen’s cars in the past 5 months.

Someone apparently took the luxury car from Sheen's driveway, and the star of TV's "Two and a Half Men" didn't know it was missing, police Officer Norma Eisenman said.

Police suspect a disgruntled hooker or any random person off the street who is as baffled as I am by the success of ‘Two and a Half Men.”

American Idol’ judge Randy Jackson was hospitalized Tuesday in Southern California with chest pains.

Jackson, 48, was taken to Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena, and a source told The Associated Press that doctors at the hospital think it was a mild heart attack.

Jackson was apparently screaming at the doctors in pain, and the lead surgeon responded with: “I don’t know Dawg – it sounds a little pitchy to me” before ultimately treating him.

Lady Gaga showed up to a Mets baseball game this past week and stripped down her to sparkly bra and bikini bottoms to watch the contest.

Gaga later flipped off fans with both her middle fingers as she drank beer and cursing.

With that kind of continued behavior, Gaga might be forced to drop the Lady from her name since it’s rapidly becoming a gross misnomer.

Actor Chris Klein, who gained fame in the sex comedy "American Pie," was arrested early Wednesday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, an official said.

A California Highway Patrol spokesman said Klein, 31, was taken into custody at around 3:15 am pdt (10:15 am gmt) after the car he was driving was seen drifting between lanes on a Los Angeles freeway. Klein was released later on his own recognizance.

Police also found a molested apple pie in the front seat and Klein's underwear stuffed in the glovebox, but they refused to charge him with public indecency.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

In honor of the World Cup and cups in general, these images seemed appropriate. So, juggle however many balls you have in the air today, thigh-highs can still work in the summer and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend as I am woefully behind - per usual}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-06-11T07:06:00.000-04:00

"I should have been a farmer, Red" - Wllford Brimley, 'The Natural'

Most people - or at least myself - only know Brimley as the oatmeal man, but he was pretty damn good in the 'Natural,' which I just watched on Blu Ray this week. He wasn't too shabby in 'The Firm' either.

I wish I was feeling more Natural and less toxic this morning, however, I went to Happy Hour with old colleagues yesterday, so this morning is mildly fuzzy. These things happen.

Anyway, before I can hit the office door by 4:30 p.m., let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan found herself back in court Wednesday after her alcohol-detection bracelet alarm sounded Sunday - the night Lohan was attending the MTV Movie Awards.

Judge Marsha Revel issued an arrest warrant for Lohan, and to avoid being detained, Lohan posted a $200,000 bail. Revel did not provide any specifics other than to say Lohan violated a court order not to consume alcohol and to wear an alcohol-detection device.

Anyone betting the under on one month of Lohan sobriety following the ankle monitor officially wins their office pool (I had one week).

In other MTV Movie award news, Sandra Bullock made headlines at the show when she appeared onstage with Scarlett Johanson and the pair shared a kiss.

"It was a preplanned, scripted kiss the producers knew about - and it was Sandra's camp's idea," said a show insider.

Well, I've been planning my Johanson kiss for many, many years and it's going to blow Bullock's out of the water.

{Editor's Note: I probably should have refrained from writing the previous sentence due to future legal ramifications. Selah.}

It seems that the Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt divorce might be more than a publicity stunt as Montag filed for separation from Spencer Pratt on Tuesday.

She cited irreconcilable differences in a court document submitted Tuesday in Santa Monica, Calif.

I would have cited being married to an incomparable douchebag if I was filing the papers, but I guess the end result is the same thing.

Miley Cyrus caused some controversy - again - this week when she simulated a lesbian kiss with a back-up dancer on stage during a performance of her song 'Can't be Tamed' on the "Britain's Got Talent" TV show.

Cyrus defended her performance on her blog wrote: “it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant (sic) even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story.”

I guess 'rocking out' and 'making out' are one and the same for Cyrus.

In bizarre pairing news, Elton John sang at Rush Limbaugh's fourth wedding this past weekend.

Limbaugh, 59, married Kathryn Rogers, 33, in Palm Beach. John was reportedly paid $1 million dollars for the performance.

Limbaugh's wife was reportedly paid $5 million to marry the bloated, old gasbag.

Alanis Morissette married Grammy-winning rapper MC Souleye at an intimate ceremony at their Los Angeles home, People reported this week.

Morissette wrote on her Twitter and Facebook accounts: “Hi guys! So happy to share with you that my man Souleye and I got married. We’re very excited to embark on this journey with each other.”

Isn't it 'Ironic' that Morrisette - a pop singer - would marry a rapper? No, it's not and neither is the stuff in Morrisette's song 'Ironic,' which has been bothering me for years.

While promoting her new movie 'Grown Ups' this week, Salma Hayek freaked out on camera when a snake appeared during her interview.

Sitting with co-stars Maya Rudolph and Mario Bello, Hayek jerked around and looked terrified as her fellow actors looked on and the snake was corralled off camera.

This is only barely a story (despite being reported on extensively - seriously), but I'll take any flimsy excuse I can to post the above picture of Hayek in 'From Dusk Till Dawn.'

And that Alanis Morrissette is vaguely ironic . . . because Hayek shot to fame with a sexy dance with a snake in that movie, and now, she seems absolutely terrified of them.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

Sometimes it's a bottoms up kind of day, and that's exactly how this one is shaping up. So, don't go chasing your tail today, relax at home or abroad and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend as I am woefully behind - Again.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-06-04T07:06:00.002-04:00

"You're part eggplant," - Dennis Hopper, 'True Romance'

One of the best scenes in cinematic history belongs to Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken in "True Romance," but really, Hopper had so many great films under his belt like 'Easy Rider,' 'Blue Velvet,' 'Apocalypse Now' and even 'Speed' was elevated by his presence. He will be sorely missed.

Anyway, I can't believe it's Friday as I firmly believe that all weeks should be shortened because in my mind it could only lead to better attitudes, and in the end, greater productivity. But before I leave the office by 4:30 pm, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

It was a slow week in Hollywood as it mainly consisted of pregnancy and divorce rumors, and first up was Céline Dion who announced that she is pregnant with twins.

The singer, 42, is pregnant after undergoing her Sixth in-vitro fertilization attempt.

The children were also conceived in the Sixth bedroom in their house with the aid of Six tablets of Viagra, so the chances that one of Dion’s children will turn out to be the Anti-Christ is quite strong.

In other singer pregnancy news, it was rumored this week that Mariah Carey is expecting her first child with husband Nick Cannon.

A source told RadarOnline that the couple are “very excited and very happy” by the news. Pregnancy rumors had dogged Carey since she was spotted outside a Los Angeles medical clinic in May.

Carey’s publicist Cindi Berger did not confirm nor deny the pregnancy, telling RadarOnline, “I’m not at liberty to discuss Mariah’s personal life at this time.”

The real question will be whether or not the baby will be able to cry louder than Carey can sing, but there will be no winners in that battle.

In yet another pregnancy story, Los Angeles Lakers player Lamar Odom denied reports that his wife - Khloe Kardashian - is expecting a child.

"I can't confirm that," he told ESPN on Wednesday "I don’t think so." ESPN noted he was smiling while he said this.

If this is true, then I guess Odom put it in the Hole without too much Dribbling. Ouch.

Sarah Ferguson told Oprah Winfrey on her show this week that she had been drinking and was "not in my right place" when she was recently caught on video offering access to her former husband, Prince Andrew, for $724,000.

The Duchess of York apologized for her lapse of judgment and has said she had financial problems.

She apparently also has drinking and bribery problems because she's absolutely terrible at both of them.

Al and Tipper Gore announced this week that they are separating after 40 years of marriage.

"After a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate," the Gores wrote in an e-mail to friends. "This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together."

The Tipping point came one night after Gore drunkenly accused Tipper of contributing to global warming, and she snidely whispered: "We both you know you didn't really invent the Internet."

In other divorce news, it was rumored this week that reality stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are having problems and that Heidi has moved out of their house.

"I needed some alone time," Montag told People.com. "There are so many lies out there about me and I just needed space – even away from my husband."

The glaring problem is the camera crew that Montag brought along with her to film during her “alone time.”

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

It's definitely hot enough to crave the water in Austin, and other cravings aren't half bad either. So, stay cool as the summer descends, don't be afraid to get a little wet and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{R.I.P. Hopper, Rue McClanahan, and Gary Coleman}

Quick Hit Early Friday . . .

2010-05-27T09:12:00.003-04:00

"Without spontaneity the world of B&B's is virtually meaningless," - Richard Jenkins, 'Flirting with Disaster'

It's hard to argue with logic like that, and if you haven't seen 'Disaster' (as many haven't), it's a sneaky funny little movie that is well worth a rental. Anyway, this is an early holiday weekend post as I'll be in the mountains until Monday trying my hardest to suck up as much red and green chile-flavored food as I can. I'll be hiking a lot as well.

But before I leave for the airport, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

A judge ordered Lindsay Lohan to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet at a hearing Monday, and the actress will also be subject to weekly random drug testing and she must refrain from both if she wants to stay out of jail.

After Judge Revel set the conditions, Lohan's attorney said her client "is prepared to demonstrate by action that she's going to comply with all court orders."

The judge should save me the effort of writing another QHF item in 2, 4 or 6 weeks, and simply send Lohan to jail now because she'll never make it cold turkey.

During his interview with 'Nightline' this week - his first since his break-up with Sandra Bullock - Jesse James said that he wanted to get caught cheating.

"When I was doing it, you know, one, I knew it was horrible. It made me feel horrible," James said. "And two, I knew I would get caught eventually, and I think I wanted to get caught." "I don't think I know for a fact now what it was, you know. I mean, it was me trying to self-sabotage my life."

Mission Accomplished Jesse - mission accomplished.

Nicole Scherzinger won 'Dancing with the Stars' this week as she beat out ESPN reporter Erin Andrews and Olympic figure skater Evan Lysacek for the title.

"I was genuinely surprised," the Pussycat Doll told 'Good Morning America.'

I was shocked: A semi-professional dancer for years and years actually won a dance show competition - you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Tina Fey was announced this week as the recepient of the annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, the Kennedy Center said on Tuesday.

In a related story, Dane Cook immediately fired his manager for his continued snubbing by the committee.

Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato confirmed they have split up this week.

The Disney actress said on Twitter that the split was amicable: "There are so many crazy rumours flying around today. I'd like to clear a few things up. First, Joe and I did split but it wasn't over the phone. Things didn't work out but we'll remain friends. Secondly, I am NOT dating anybody already."

Joe, 20, said the pair would remain friends.

Meanwhile, I will doggedly continue not to care in the least.

As always, let's end with a gold image or two:

I figure there was something for everyone in those pics as I am egalaritarian (sp?) if nothing else. So balance the scales today, keep the walls from closing in on you and . . . Happy Early Friday and Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: Everyone have a great holiday weekend.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-05-21T07:08:00.001-04:00

"English motherfucker, do you speak it?" - Samuel L. Jackson, 'Pulp Fiction'

Nearly the entire 'Pulp' movie is quotable, but for some reason, this line delivered with feeling courtesy of Jackson, came to me this week, mostly out of the blue.

Anyway, I will speak to as few people as possible today, and hope I can vacate the office by 4:30 p.m. if things break my way. Until then, however, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Jesse James announced his first interview this week since the break-up of his failed marriage with Sandra Bullock.

James will give his first on-camera interview to ABC "Nightline" correspondent Vicki Mabrey, and the segment will air May 25, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

James will prepare for the interview by shaving his Hitler mustache, however, I doubt he'll drop any 'Bombshells' during the sit-down.

A California judge issued an arrest warrant for Lindsay Lohan Thursday after the actress missed a mandatory court hearing for a "progress report" on her probation from a pair of 2007 arrests on drug and alcohol charges.

Lohan was stuck in Cannes, France due to a stolen passport, according to her lawyer.

"She should have made sure she either didn't go Cannes or made sure to be back two days earlier," said the judge.

The problem was that two days earlier Lohan had traded her passport to someone inside a French nightclub for an 8-ball of cocaine.

In other Lohan news, Lindsay denied having a new girlfriend this week after a New York Post report had the starlet dating a 36-year-old photographer named Indrani.

Lohan told UsMagazine.com, "No, no, no ... In NO way am I dating her."

Indrani said: "We have been spending a lot of time together. I have never had a relationship with a woman before, but Lindsay is just somebody who I find fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart, as well as super-hot.”

If Indrani finds Lohan “fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart” then I have to believe that they have never net, and thus cannot possibly be in a relationship.

Rachel Uchitel – one of Tiger Wood’s mistresses – will pose for Playboy magazine.

According to TMZ, Uchitel will shoot the spread in 3 weeks time, although her contract does allow her to pull out anytime before that.

The preceding paragraph had enough double entendres inserted, so I’ll forsake adding to it despite a strong inclination to insert a 'Woods' joke to the mix.

Megan Fox threatened a photographer this week after someone leaked an image of her topless on the web.

The snapper allegedly took pictures of her topless on a camera phone as she filmed her latest role as a circus sideshow performer in the forthcoming ‘Passion Play.’

Fox told Allure magazine: "If I knew who took this picture, I would personally cause them harm – physical harm…"

OK. I admit it – it was me. Please have Fox contact me at her earliest convenience and we’ll schedule time for her to throttle me.

John Travolta and Kelly Preston said Tuesday night they "are expecting a new addition to our family."

The 47-year-old Preston is pregnant, People.com reported. "It's impossible to keep a secret ... especially one as wonderful as this. We are expecting a new addition to our family," the pair wrote on their Web site.

In the past, Travolta & Preston have described the addition of a new Travolta toupee with the same exact words.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

Sometimes I like to strip down and hang out in the closet. Who doesn’t? So, enjoy yourself wherever you might roam today, spend some time with friends and . . . Happy Friday!

{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend.}

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-05-14T07:06:00.001-04:00

"Not me, I'm in my prime," - Val Kilmer, "Tombstone"

Last week's 'Tombstone' viewing party was an unparalleled success except for the nasty whiskey hangover that occurred the following day. This was largely due to the fact that I had not drank straight whiskey in many years, and I damn sure never poured it down like Kilmer did in that role. But I tried.

Tonight, I will try my hand at bowling with a group of friends, but before I can vacate the office by 5 p.m. or so, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Tyra Banks announced that she signed a three-book deal with Delacorte Press to write a fantasy series for young people.

The first novel - "Modelland" - comes out in the summer of 2011. The plot allegedly concerns a girl trying to keep up with the beauty game at an elite school for supermodels, or Intoxibellas.

The main fantasy involved in this project concerns any readers who delude themselves into thinking that Banks actually wrote any of the material, although I do have a strong suspicion that a majority of characters will be named Tyra or some derivation.

After both citing irreconcilable differnces and filing separate divorce papers last month, Larry King wife, Shawn Southwick King, halted their separation this week.

"We love our children, we love each other, we love being a family. That is all that matters to us," the couple said in a joint statement, according to Reuters.

And if King stops loving on his wife's sister, then maybe those two crazy kids have a real chance at staying together this time.

Heidi Pratt filed a restraining order against her mom this week after she made a surprise visit to Montag's L.A.-area home.

"My mom [Darlene Egelhoff] just showed up to the house unannounced... and after what she did to me on national TV, I have no desire to see her," Heidi, 23, said to TMZ.com. Montag was referring to her mom's disapproval of her 10 plastic surgeries in one day.

Meanwhile, Heidi's Mom filed a missing persons report at the police station because she still doesn't recognize her daughter after all the surgeries.

Britney Spears severed professional ties with her boyfriend/agent, Jason Trawick, this week as the pop star decided that business and pleasure don't mix.

Parade Magazine reported the pair will continue dating.

“Since wrapping her recent world tour, Spears has been busy in the studio working on her next album,” a rep tells Parade. “They are very happy. Things are really good with them.”

Upon hearing the news, Kevin Federline ate an entire bag of Cheetos, rubbed his belly and yelled at the television "she'll be back one day."

Singer Katy Perry topped Maxim magazine's Hot 100 list on Monday as she ousted 'House' star Olivia Wilde from the perch.

Perry was deemed by Joe Levy, editor-in-chief of the men's magazine, to be a "triple -- no quadruple -- kind of hot."

Levy continued with, "it's kind of like you took the square root of hotness, and multiplied by itself to the nth degree and then sat on the sun." Levy is also a dunce.

Sean Penn pleaded no contest Wednesday to a misdemeanor charge stemming from an altercation with a photographer last year.

The judge ordered Penn to perform 300 hours of community service and undergo 36 hours of anger management counseling.

The judge also ordered Penn to stop arriving in court in his "I Am Sam" character, and trying to garner sympathy.

Barbara Walters said this week that she will have surgery to replace a faulty heart valve and take the summer off from "The View" to recuperate.

She said she's known about her condition for a while, and decided with her doctors that this is the best time to have the heart surgery done.

"Since the summer is coming up," she said, "I can take a nice vacation."

Walters only requirement for a vacation is somewhere with a spectacular 'View.'

As always, let's end with a gold image or two:

Maybe we all look better slightly upside down and inverted. Maybe. Regardless, enjoy yourself today whatever position you may be in, don't let the blood rush to your head and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-05-07T07:10:00.000-04:00

"Sully - you know when I said I would kill you last . . . I lied." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'Commando'

I watched 'Commando' this past week, and although it had been more than a decade since I last saw it, it holds up pretty damn well as an example of crazed '80s action flicks. And Arnold kills like 100 people at the end of the thing, amassing a truly staggering body count while stripping off his shirt for no apparent reason except to call attention to his pecs. Selah.

Anyway, I don't plan to go postal today, and instead, am just happy to put another week behind me. My parents are visiting over the weekend on a combined Mother's Day/Dad's Birthday celebration, but tonight, I am hosting a 'Tombstone' on Blu Ray night at the loft compelete with whiskey, Coor's yellow-bellies and steak fajitas, hold the tuberculosis.

Before I can escape to that utopia, however, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Halle Berry broke it off with the father of her child, model Gabriel Aubry, and the actress confirmed the split this week.

"She kicked him out months ago because he wasn't able to pull his weight in the relationship and she wanted to move on," a source close to Berry and Aubry tells PEOPLE.

Meanwhile, Berry's career is still trying to move on from her "Catwoman" debacle, and to this point, has had only limited success.

Roman Polanski spoke to the media this week for the first time since his arrest, and said prosecutors only want to serve him "on a platter to the media."

Swiss authorities are trying to decide whether to extradite Polanski to Los Angeles for the 1977 statutory rape of a 13-year-old girl. Polanski, who is under house arrest in his Alpine Swiss chalet, talked with an online magazine run by French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy.

"I have had my share of dramas and joys, as we all have, and I am not going to try to ask you to pity my lot in life," he wrote, noting he had to mortgage his home to cover the $4.5 million bail. "I ask only to be treated fairly like anyone else."

Well, most "everyone else" doesn't get to be convicted of rape and then live out their sentence at a Swiss chalet, Roman, so maybe you should consider yourself lucky . . .

Lindsay Lohan was confirmed this week as the lead role in an independent movie about 1970s porn star Linda Lovelace.

Lohan will play Lovelace, who starred in 1972 porno movie "Deep Throat."

"I would say it's probably one of the most challenging roles any actor could play — and not because of the sexual content, necessarily — but more because she was so battered and beat up emotionally, that I think it's gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off," the producer told the Times.

"Lindsay will have far less problems pulling off her clothes," he later added with smirk.

David Boreanaz, the star of the TV show 'Bones' and previously 'Angel', was forced to confess to cheating on his wife, Jaime Bergman, this week after his mistress threatened to go public.

‘I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with. She asked for money. I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion’ Boreanz told People magazine.

According TMZ.com, the mistress demanded six figures to stay silent.

His wife will demand a lot more in a divorce settlement, and the 'Bone' jokes will be flying fast and furious in the courtroom.

Reps for Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller denied divorce rumors this week, but admitted that the pair are having marital issues.

"Please let us clarify this: They are not seeking a divorce nor has one been contemplated," according to a joint statement released Monday by Mueller’s attorney, Yale Galanter, and Sheen’s longtime friend and Two and a Half Men executive producer, Mark Burg.

The only reason divorce hasn't been "contemplated" is because neither Sheen nor Mueller know the definition of that word.

Bret Michaels was released from a Phoenix hospital and is expected to make a full recovery after suffering a brain hemorrhage last month, his doctor said Tuesday.

Dr. Joseph Zabramski said: "This produces a great deal of stress on the body," he said. "This is like being involved in an accident from inside."

But the Dr. also said that when Michaels was first admitted to the hospital that he thought to himself Look What the Cat Dragged In, but now Michaels has "given me Something to Believe In."

Kim Kardashian began receiving death threats this week from fans of pop star Justin Bieber after the pair meet at the White House Correspondent's dinner in Washington, D.C.

"Look its my girlfriend," Bieber jokingly wrote after posting a picture of the pair following the event.

But his fans were not happy.

"I'm getting death threats from your fans!" Kardashian, 29, wrote to the singer Tuesday night. "This is unBeliebable!!!"

What is "unBeliebable" to me is this: if Bieber & Kardashian warrant a White House invitation, just who is being excluded from the list?

Former Playboy Playmate and "Girls Next Door" star Kendra Wilkinson was rumored to be trying to stop a sex tape from surfacing this week.

According to RadarOnline.com, Wilkinson's lawyer has reportedly demanded for porn company Vivid Entertainment to "cease and desist" with the release of the video.

"The video is private and highly confidential taken for private use and not for public disclosure," the letter reads. "Any exploitation of the video would be a gross violation of Miss Wilkinson's constitutional and common law rights of privacy."

Kendra couldn't be reached for comment because she was off shooting an all-nude Playboy video - but not a porno dammit.

As always, let's end with a gold image or two:

It's getting hot in Austin (92 degrees), so a little lounging in lingerie seems appropriate, although not for me personally. But do whatever floats your boat today, peel off a few layers and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-04-30T07:07:00.001-04:00

"What are these fuckin' iguanas doing on my coffee table." - Nic Cage, 'Bad Lieutenant 2 - Port of Call New Orleans'

That was one gonzo performance by Cage, and a bizarrely entertaining and quirky movie that I would recommend heartily to anyone - Just don't expect too much and drink a little and it will all make sense.

That's really a philosophy I wish I could carry over to work, but I'm up to my ears in process, products and general chaos right now and I hope to be out the door by 5 p.m. Selah.

Before that can happen, however, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Sandra Bullock told People magazine this week that she has filed for divorce from Jesse James, and also revealed that she and James had adopted a baby boy back in January.

The baby, whose name is Louis Bardo Bullock, was born in New Orleans. Bullock said that she plans to raise the 3 1/2-month old child as a single mother.

As Bullock stated: "Jesse can continue to raise the Nazi flag and I'll raise the child. Everyone wins."

In other baby news, Matt Damon and his wife, Luciana, confirmed that she is pregnant with the couple’s third child.

`Everyone is excited,'' Damon's rep says.

Except for Ben Affleck, who only has two children with Jennifer Garner, and considers this just another case of Damon showing him up.

It’s been hard to keep up the Bret Michaels affair, but in the past five days, he was rushed to the hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage, underwent tests while remaining in critical but stable condition and found out he had a side effect that could lead to seizures.

His rep says he has not had any seizures.

I generally feel bad for Michaels, and so I’ll refrain from any bandana being too tight cause and effect jokes, and instead, wish him a speedy recovery so he’ll be having Nothing But a Good Time once again.

In worthless Lindsay Lohan news, the troubled starlet feuded with her Dad this week, was accused of throwing a glass at ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson and then caused controversy after posting a picture Wednesday on Twitter which showed her with a gun in her mouth.

The image was taken Tuesday night by photographer Tyler Shields. Shields will feature a few photos of LiLo in his new book, "The Dirty Side of Glamor."

“The Dirty Side of Glamour” will also be the title of the porno film that Lohan will inevitably shoot once her career completely implodes.

In other porn world news, Jenna Jameson and her boyfriend, mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz, traded accusations this week one day after he was arrested for an alleged domestic violence attack against her.

Ortiz was arrested Monday at the home he shares with Jameson and their twin sons. Later that day, Ortiz and his attorney accused Jameson of drug addiction and claimed Ortiz never struck her.

"Jenna has been fighting a battle with OxyContin addiction for the past year. For Tito and her family this has been an uphill battle. Unfortunately this morning she had a relapse," Ortiz attorney Chip Matthews said. "Tito was trying to help her, she has threatened suicide before. Tito has done everything in his power to protect her privacy and the privacy of their children."

Ortiz apparently feels that beating the addiction out of someone is the only reasonable cure for addiction, a treatment he'll be able to discuss with the other abusers in jail.

Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner donated the last $900,000 sought by a conservation group for a land purchase needed to save the famed Hollywood sign from being spoiled by development.

"My childhood dreams and fantasies came from the movies, and the images created in Hollywood had a major influence on my life and Playboy," Hefner said in a statement. "As I've said before, the Hollywood sign is Hollywood's Eiffel Tower and I'm pleased to help preserve such an important cultural landmark."

He later added: "we both share a passion for 'Wood' so I could't let it go without a fight."

Jason Alexander, who played George Costanza in "Seinfeld," hit a teenage bicyclist Tuesday in California, police officials said.

The collision was reported at Wilshire Boulevard and June Street, and the 14-year-old boy was on his way to middle school when he was struck. He was taken to a hospital in stable condition.

Los Angeles police took an accident report and are investigating the incident, but Alexander was not cited.

Just to be safe, however, Alexander has been staying with Jerry's parents in Boca Del Vista until the incident blows over.

As always, let's end with a gold image or two:

I'm not certain of the bondage theme this week, but then again, it might be my feeling of being chained to a desk. Regardless, stay open to new possibilities, don't get yourself tied in knots and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I'll be catching up on everyone's blogs this weekend.}

Bathing with the Drunken Viking: New Job Edition

2010-04-26T18:39:00.006-04:00

{This is the 34th entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits. This past weekend, I celebrated two weeks on a new job with Brooklyn lager & Heineken, which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}

* Find out quickly who everyone in the office hates, and never eat lunch with that person during your first month unless you want to be lumped in with them

* Make fast friends with the office administrator

* Do not get caught staring down her shirt

* Find the most discreet exit out of the building so you can leave without announcing it to the rest of the office

* Learn people's names immediately even if it consumes far too much of your time

* Never actually address anyone by name unless you're sure that you are correct

* Don't wear easily identifiable shoes so people can recognize you when you're in the bathroom stall

* Never take advice from anyone in your particular group who appears overly ambitious

* Laugh at everything - whether it's funny or not.

* Especially if your boss considers himself an amateur comedian

* But never blatantly kiss your boss's ass in public - it's beneath you

* Keep a bottle of decent liquor and some glasses in your desk because you just never know

* "My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.” - Winston Churchill

{Editor's Note: $2 Dollar Productions apologizes for being largely MIA recently, however, for at least a few months he will be merely trying to keep his head above water at one of the largest companies in the world.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-04-09T08:56:00.002-04:00

"I'm standing where my, uh, living room was and it's not here because my house is gone and it's an Ultimart! You can never go home again, Oatman... but I guess you can shop there." - John Cusack, 'Grosse Pointe Blank'

'Grosse Pointe' was a particularly excellent film, and probably the best project that Cusack has starred in during the last decade. I wouldn't mind going home again, but instead, I'll be trying to cram some fun into this weekend before I leave for California on Monday to start my new gig. The initial training will last a week before I head back to Austin for the duration of my impending tenure.

But until then, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

In the latest Sandra Bullock - Jesse James drama, Bullock was dogged by rumors of a sex tape this week.

RadarOnline.com reported that Jesse has more than 12 homemade videos that were made with other women, although it was unclear if they exist or were filmed before, after or during his marriage.

"Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia," an insider tells RadarOnline.com. "It's all really quite disturbing." "What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute," the insider said. "It looked like the woman's hands were bound."

Bullock released a statement denying that she is a participant is any sex tape: "There is no sex tape. There never has been one and there never will be one."

Bullock continued by saying "the only embarrassing video you'll find me starring in is 'Miss Congeniality 2' for which I apologize to all ticket buyers."

Jon Gosselin sued ex-wife Kate Gosselin for primary custody of their eight children this week. He also asked the court to review his child support obligation.

Gosselin's attorney, Anthony List, has previously accused Kate Gosselin of neglecting the children because she appears on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars," a charge her attorney rejected as "patently false."

The impending mediation will go like this: Jon - "Without the kids I'm simply a doughy douchebag. I need them." Kate - "No way. Without the kids I'm just a bitch. They're mine." It's really hard to pick sides in this one, and either way, the kids lose.

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy announced their break-up this week via Twitter.

The two actors each tweeted Tuesday that they have ended their relationship after five years.

Carrey wrote that he wishes her "the very best!" and McCarthy Tweeted that she "will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart."

It's really too bad because I find them both infinitely more likable together versus separated.

Bruce Springsteen found himself in a divorce drama this week when court papers from a New Jersey housewife and her husband, who named Springsteen as a seducer of his wife.

Ann Kelly, 45, was accused by her husband Arthur Kelly, 46, of sleeping with Springsteen. He claimed in court papers that Springsteen entered her life in 2005 and showered her with concert tickets, serenaded her during rehearsals and confessing she was on his mind while he toured.

Ann Kelly gave herself away when she repeatedly came home late, and when questioned by her husband concerning her whereabouts, told him she was working for The Boss even though she doesn't have a job.

Nicollette Sheridan filed a lawsuit this week against Marc Cherry, creator of 'Desperate Housewives', alleging assault and wrongful termination.

Sheridan says that in September 2008 Cherry "took her aside and forcefully hit her with his hand across her face and head." After she stormed off to her trailer, he came to "beg forgiveness." Sheridan claims she told ABC about the incident, and Cherry proceeded to kill of her show character.

Sheridan is seeking $20 million in damages.

Insert your own 'Desperate' joke here because that's exactly what this lawsuit reeks of . . .

In other court news, Sean Penn threatened to kill a photographer if he ever ran into him again, according to a new lawsuit that was filed by the paparazzo.

Jordan Dawes alleges he was filming a documentary about paparazzi in October in Brentwood, Calif. when Penn suddenly began “kicking and punching” him, TMZ.com reported.

In the lawsuite papers, Dawes claims that Penn told him: “The next time I see you, you will be in a box.”

Penn has been spotted lately hanging out in bars with Marc Cherry, and slapping people around.

Singer Whitney Houston postponed three concerts this week due to illness that would have signaled the start of her European tour.

Houston, 46, was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection by doctors in Paris, and denied rumors that a drug relapse played a part. She called such reports "ridiculous," adding, "at this point, I just don't respond. I don't even read it."

It doesn't help Houston's story when chooses to recover in Amsterdam.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

Among other things, these pics make me want to get in touch with nature. So, explore the natural elements today, feel the warmth of spring on your skin and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Good Friday . . .

2010-04-02T09:58:00.001-04:00

"I learn plenty, yeah, I learned how to sand your decks maybe. I washed your car, paint your house, paint your fence." - Ralph Machhio, "The Karate Kid"

I'm not sure why I was thinking of the 'Kid' this week. Maybe it was because I recently noticed that they were adding a new installment with Will Smith's kid in it, which seems like a bad idea all the way around. Oh well, it seemed like a bad idea for Daniel to perform all that manual labor for Mr. Miyagi too, but it paid off in the end.

I have no pay-off in mind today except that it's Good Friday, so let's hope that it's good for everyone, and look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Jesse James checked himself into a rehab center this week in the latest entry in his rapidly dissolving marriage to Sandra Bullock.

"Jesse checked himself into a treatment facility to deal with personal issues," his rep said in a statement to People.com. "He realized that this time was crucial to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage."

Rehab Lesson #1: Don't cheat on your extremely popular wife with trashy babes linked to White Power groups. Lesson #2 - repeat lesson #1 dumb-ass.

Ricky Martin confirmed this week that he was gay.

Martin broke the news on his blog, and wrote: "I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."

For me, Martin confirmed he was gay many years ago when the above pictures surfaced.

Erykah Badu released a new music video this week where she appears naked and uses the Dealy Plaza in Dallas as the backdrop for her nude stroll.

During the video, there is an edited-in sound of a rifle shot, and Badu falls to the ground within feet of where President John F. Kennedy was shot. Badu said in an interview Monday that the video for "Window Seat" was a "protest" and "about liberating yourself."

Badu was lucky to to be filmed at all since the original photographer had technical issues, but there was a second shooter behind the grassy knoll who captured the footage.

According to TMZ.com this week, police officers who routinely come into contact with Lindsay Lohan have reportedly considered forcing the 23-year-old starlet to get help.

Officers who have encountered Lindsay during her late nights and early mornings of partying said they have been concerned about her “erratic behavior” and “attitude,” TMZ reported, and one night “cops became so concerned they discussed taking her in for a 5150 evaluation.”

Lohan disagreed.

“I’m working and healthy,” Lindsay told Gossip Cop after a report from TMZ had her headed for disaster.

"Working on getting my party on - woo-hoo!" Lohan shouted and then ran away laughing to herself.

Kate Gosselin got into a filmed spat with her dance instructor - Tony Dovolani - over his teaching methods this week on 'Dancing With the Stars.'

“Can you just show me? We don’t have enough time. I’m stressed!” Gosselin told Dovolani.

“Really? Then why don’t you start to pay attention to my teaching then,” he responded. “It’s like really? You’re telling me how to teach you how to dance? That’s what I do for a living.”

After Gosselin proclaimed, “I’m done. I’m done today,” Dovolani agreed. “I’ve been mister nice guy. I’m done,” he said, and mouthed “I quit” to the cameras.

Dovolani later received sympathy basket from Gosselin's 8 children with a note reading: "Please don't send her home yet."

Former 'Dawson's Creek' star James Van Der Beek finalized his divorce to Heather Ann McComb on Monday.

McComb finally requested the divorce after Van Der Beek refused to stop allowing girls to climb through their bedroom window late at night.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

Sometimes it's just as good before you completely unwrap something. So, remember that when it comes to Easter candy, find all your eggs and . . . Happy Good Friday!

-BDS

Mendocino & Me . . .

2010-03-30T09:27:00.004-04:00

For a long time now, I knew that I wanted to take a trip by myself once the right opportunity presented itself. It took awhile, but this past week, I took off for Mendocino on a solo journey meant to clear my head after I fought hard for a few weeks off between leaving my old gig and starting on a new one.

It's a rare thing indeed when something you have built up in your mind actually exceeds your expectations, but my trip was even better than I imagined it could be.

I chose Mendocino because it's a small town flanked by the ocean, and surrounded by a wealth of national parks and trails to hike through. If you do it right, there are more trees than people by a wide margin, which is exactly what I was seeking. And that's what I found too.

A typical day looked like this:

7 a.m. - Wake up

7:15 a.m. - Grab cup of Nitro coffee at Moody's & walk down to a stump by the Headlands National Park that opens up to the ocean and traces the perimeter of the town

7:15 - 8:00 a.m. - Drink coffee & watch the sun rise & the fog burn off the trees to the East while the waves crashed against the cliffs below

8:15 a.m. - Back to the room to read the San Francisco Chronicle provided by the lodging.

8:45 a.m. - Eat large, delicious breakfast provided by proprieters inside my room. Drink more coffee.

9:30 a.m. - Drive in rented convertible Mustang with top down to hiking trail close to town.

9:45 a.m. - 12:45 a.m. - Hike through huge redwood trees and the utterly silent forest and see a grand total of 2 other people the entire time.

1 p.m. - Drive back to town.

1:30 p.m - Sit outside in the sun on picnic tables at Mendo Burger and eat a burger w/ pepper jack cheese & bacon with a side of fries doused with cajun seasoning and a root beer.

2 p.m. - Pick up another cup of coffee at Moodys & Drive to another hiking trail or park.

2:30 - 4 p.m. - Hike.

4:30 p.m. - Back to town, shower.

5 p.m. - Drink glass of wine from several bottles purchased a local wineries early into the trip & read a book in the garden in front of the place I was staying.

6 p.m. - Eat dinner at Mendocino Cafe or the Moose Cafe.

7:15 p.m. - Watch sunset & walk around town.

8:30 p.m. - Glass of wine & read until fall asleep from exhaustion.

Rinse and Repeat for 5 days & that is what I did & it never grew old - at least not for me.

I needed a complete brain purging, and a frontal lobe enema is exactly what I received. It helped recharge the batteries. It forced you to rely on yourself for entertainment. It allowed you to drop out of the world, if only for a little while.

I never once got on the Internet during my stay. Nor did I watch any television. It wasn't necessary or wanted. But now, I'm back and trying to catch up since just because you drop out of the world, it doesn't mean that the world stops wanting a piece of you.

My main take-away was that I can't wait to fall out again: when the time is right.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-03-19T08:55:00.000-04:00

“Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left.” – George Clooney, ‘Up in the Air’

I’ll try to remember that truism this weekend when I depart for Mendocino on a solo trip to do some hiking, and clear my head before starting a new job come April. I’m looking forward to it - the trip at least.

But before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

People magazine reported this week that Sandra Bullock has left the Southern California home she shares with husband Jesse James after alleged rumors surfaced that James cheated on Bullock.

Bullock's rep has not commented on the In Touch Weekly story that broke the affair story, and the article quoted tattoo model Michelle "Bombshell" McGee as saying she had an affair with James last year.

James was rumored to be especially sneaky with his affair - he only cheated with McGee when he was planted firmly in Bullock's Blind Side. Ouch.

Charlie Sheen pleaded not guilty to domestic violence charges on Monday following a holiday 911 call from his wife to Colorado police in which she told them that Sheen had put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her.

The plea was entered by Richard Cummins, a Colorado attorney who represents Sheen. The star of "Two and a Half Men" on CBS is charged with menacing, criminal mischief and assault.

Richard 'Dick' Cummins is being charged with provoking unintentional laughter from the judge due to his name.

Reality star Heidi Montag announced this week that she will make her big screen debut in an upcoming Adam Sandler comedy titled “Just Go With It.”

Montag will have a cameo role in the romantic comedy. She posted on her Twitter page: "I was just cast in my first feature film comedy! I start filming Monday!!!!! This is one of the best days of my life!!! Getting ice cream to celebrate."

"Ice Cream" is Montag's code word for "Plastic Surgery."

Montag's husband, Spencer Pratt, is reportedly taking a break from the "The Hills" to fight cyber terrorism. Seriously.

Bill Beasley, president of American Defense Enterprises, a firearms training firm in Los Angeles, told FoxNews.com that he and Pratt are in the "beginning stages" of negotiations to start a cybersecurity venture.

"He's always been very patriotic," Beasley said Monday. "What you see on television is not him. He's moving out of the Hollywood portion of his life."

Pratt told People magazine: "Upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges."

Pratt's first cyber mission will be to stop the spread of viruses associated with surfing for pornography.

Kate Winslet has split from her film director husband Sam Mendes, a British law firm said Monday.

The couple separated at an unspecified point earlier this year, Shillings law firm said, and it wasn't clear whether divorce proceedings have begun. The pair have been married since 2003 and have two children.

In a statement e-mailed to journalists, the law firm said the split was "entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement."

Meanwhile, Mendes said the split was indeed mutual "if you consider the Titantic hitting the giant iceberg as a piece of mutual understanding."

Paula Abdul was said to be finalizing a deal this week to help ABC launch a new version of the TV show ‘Star Search.’

The network isn’t commenting, but Abdul would reportedly juggle a combination of hosting and judging duties for the show, which could debut this summer.

ABC wanted to Abdul to host the show so contestants wouldn't be intimidated by an actual Star.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

Something sweet on the lips works for me, and it's hard to argue with a feather boa in any situation. So, let the feathers fly today, don't be afraid to let things get sticky and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Bathing With The Drunken Viking . . .

2010-03-16T08:38:00.006-04:00

{This is the 33rd entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits. Yesterday, I celebrated an impending new job offer with pitchers of Harp, which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}

• Never gamble with anybody who answers to a nickname

• Anyone who grew up in the 80s still wants to be a Goonie.

• Never use someone else’s joke at a party if the originator is also on the guest list

• Easy writing makes for damn poor reading

• Never order the special at a restaurant when they fail to mention the price

• A pea coat is a really terrible name for an otherwise good coat

• Summer is for screwing, Winter is for sleeping

• Nobody has ever bought any item found inside a Sky Mall magazine

• The more exotic the hide on a person’s boots, the less interesting that person will be if you talk to them.

• A full tank of gas always provokes a good feeling.

• When the captain on an airplane turns on his cabin microphone, he rarely has anything good to announce

• “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-03-12T08:29:00.003-05:00

“When you side with a man, you stay with him! And if you can't do that, you're like some animal, you're finished! We're finished! All of us!” – William Holden, “The Wild Bunch”

I watched ‘The Wild Bunch’ on Blu Ray this week, and it holds up pretty damn well. It also features a healthy body count.

Anyway, I can certainly appreciate the concept of loyalty even if my own allegiance is predominately owed to finding a patio downtown to have a drink by 3:30 p.m., especially since the sun is shining and it’s about 70 degrees. But before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Rapper Lil Wayne arrived at Rikers Island prison in New York City on Tuesday to begin serving a one-year jail term on a weapons conviction.

Wayne, 27, whose real name is Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., chose not to speak at his sentencing on Monday. With good behavior, he could be out of prison in eight months.

But in that 8 month time period, Lil Wayne is really hoping he doesn’t meet up with Big Mike in the shower room.

Lindsay Lohan slapped E-Trade Financial with a lawsuit for $100 million this week, The New York Post reported, as the actress is claiming that E-Trade's latest advertisement about a "milkaholic," boyfriend-stealing baby whose name is Lindsay is modeled after her.

Her lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said: "Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay," Ovadia said. "They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

Ignoring her delusions of grandeur, I still don’t get Lohan’s identity hijacking claim: It’s not like E Trade made their baby a coke-sniffing, part-time lesbian, full-time party girl - choices which might have confused the issue. The fact that both like breast milk is largely coincidental.

Charlie Sheen will report back to work on the set for "Two and a Half Men" next week after undergoing rehab his publicist confirmed.

Last month, Rosenfield announced that Sheen had voluntarily entered a rehab facility "as a preventative measure."

The real downside here is that Sheen’s return means that new episodes of the show will be filmed and then forced onto the public at some future date and time.

Conan O'Brien announced on Thursday a live comedy show that will tour U.S. and Canadian theaters starting next month.

The 30-city tour, titled "Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television," is set to start April 12 in Eugene, Oregon. It will travel to Vancouver and Toronto in Canada, as well as major U.S. cities. Billed as "a night of music, comedy, hugging, and the occasional awkward silence," according to O'Brien's website.

Conan spent seven months as host of the "The Tonight Show" on NBC, a position he took over from Jay Leno.

O’Brien plans to play the same theaters that Leno also uses during his stand-up act, but anticipates performing for only half as many people each night.

After a popular online petition kept circulating to recruit her, it was announced this week that Betty White will appear on ‘Saturday Night Live’ in the near future.
White confirmed this to People magazine at Elton John’s annual Oscars viewing party.

When asked by PEOPLE, "Are you doing ‘Saturday Night Live?’," she answered, "Yes," even if she remains perplexed by the groundswell of support. "I don't know why or how," she says, "but it's been wonderful."

I’ve got no joke for this one – I love Betty White. She’s always been Golden to me . . .

And speaking of golden, let’s end with an image or two:

A little ink on skin can be sexy, and a deserted kitchen isn’t entirely a bad thing either. So, don’t be afraid to mix the kitchen with the bedroom today, keep things tidy wherever you are and . . . Happy Friday!

{Editor's Note: R.I.P. Corey Haim}

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-03-05T08:25:00.000-05:00

“Let the wild rumpus begin!” - Max Records, “Where the Wild Things Are”

I generally like to announce this same thing whenever I enter a party, my bedroom or a massage parlor. Today, I will probably keep that sentiment to myself, however, as I merely want to survive and then head for the hills.

But before I hit the door by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Naomi Campbell allegedly beat on her chauffeur Tuesday as she repeatedly hit him in the head with her fist from the back seat of her Cadillac Escalade as the car drove through NYC.

The driver – Miodrag Mejdina – received a bruise under his left eye, according to police sources. The altercation supposedly occurred when Campbell became furious that Mejdina, who also has chauffeured her boyfriend, refused to tell her whether her boyfriend was cheating on her, sources said.

Campbell's spokesman, Jeff Raymond, said, "There shouldn't be a rush to judgment. Naomi will cooperate voluntarily, and there is more to the story than meets the eye."

It’s really just the same old story: Cambell is just one violent bitch, albeit an attractive one.

The new cast of ‘Dancing with the Stars’ lineup was announced this week, and Jon Gosselin was reportedly angry that Kate Gosselin will be taking part in the show.

“Jon’s angry because doing ‘Dancing With the Stars’ will keep her away from the kids for days, and she still won’t let him have any extra custody,” a source close to Jon Gosselin told Us Weekly. “Nannies will watch them instead of Jon.”

In other Jon Gosselin anger news, it was reported this week that Playgirl magazine would offer him substantially less than it did to Levi Johnston when he did his pictorial shoot.

“We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio told Life & Style magazine.

Jon should really cheer up because that figure still pays him approximately $1,333.33 for each of his 15 minutes of fame, and those minutes have long since expired.

The Smithsonian Institution, America's repository of historical artifacts, rejected the donation of the suit that O.J. Simpson wore when he was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife Tuesday, and deemed it inappropriate for their collection.

The announcement came after a California judge approved the donation as the solution to a 13-year court battle over the tan suit, which has been held by Simpson's former sports agent, Mike Gilbert and contested by Fred Goldman.

"The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History will not be collecting O.J. Simpson's suit," it said. "The decision was made by the museum's curators together with the director."

The Smithsonian must be holding out for the White Bronco instead.

Jessica Simpson was on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ this week, and complained about John Mayer talking about her bedroom exploits in his recent Playboy interview. Sort of.

"I don't want people to know how I am in bed!" she told Oprah. She continued: "I'm not angry," Simpson said, then reconsidered and said, “I'm -- well, I'm a little bit angry."

But she did admit that she’s getting more dating prospects from the interview.

"My phone is ringing off the hook, I have to say," said Simpson.

The only problem is that all the callers sound suspiciously like Joe Simpson with slightly altered voices.

Megan Fox told Harper’s Bazaar magazine for their next issue that she’s not nearly as promiscuous as she’s been portrayed in the media.

"I've only been with two men my entire life," said Fox. "My childhood sweetheart and Brian." Fox has been dating (and engaged to) former ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ star Brian Austin Green on and off since 2004.

She continues, "I can never have sex with someone that I don't love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I've never even come close to having a one-night stand."

I’m not sure what’s the most disturbing news: that Fox doesn’t enjoy one-night stands or that her limited number of partners includes David Silver from ‘90210.’

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

The winter is ending in my part of the world, but there is still snow on the ground in other places. So, enjoy the weather whether sun or snow, roll around in the mix and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-02-26T08:30:00.001-05:00

“I’m looking for a dare to be great situation,” – John Cusack, ‘Say Anything’

It’s really too bad that Cusack has gone from great material like ‘Say Anything’ to the upcoming ‘Hot Tub Time Machine,’ which I recently saw a preview for on basic cable. Oh well, we all have bills to pay.

I plan to be far from great today, and instead, will settle for mildly capable if the situation presents itself. But before I leave the office by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan said in an interview this week that ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson is the only woman for her – and if she doesn't reunite with the celebrity deejay, then Lohan would date men once again.

"I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha. It surprised me," Lohan told the U.K. Sun tabloid. She added, "If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next.”

Some might say that Ronson could pass for a 18-year-old boy herself, so Lohan has already had the best of both worlds. Or the worst.

Charlie Sheen's wife, Brooke Mueller, pulled out of a Malibu, California rehab center after a "major breach of her privacy," her lawyer told CNN Monday.

Mueller immediately checked into "a private, secure facility" to continue her substance abuse rehab so she can be "the best mother" to her children, attorney Yale Galanter said. He also said that he was planning a lawsuit against the Canyon -- the rehab center -- after confidential details of her treatment were given to journalists over the weekend.

"I am going to make them pay like you can't believe for screwing over my client," Galanter said. "You can quote me on that."

Only I’m allowed to screw over my client, and I get a hefty fee for that very purpose, Galatner added.

In a related story, Charlie Sheen checked himself into rehab on for substance abuse issues. Seriously.

The "Two and a Half Men" star forced a surprise halt on production of the series. "We wish him nothing but the best as he deals with this personal matter," said a statement attributed to CBS, Warner Bros. and executive producer Chuck Lorre.

The actor's spokesman, Stan Rosenfield, described his client's decision to enter rehab as a "preventative measure" and added he would "take some time off" from the series.

The first question Sheen was asked in rehab was: “Why are you here?” and he responded with “Drugs,” thus completing his full circle turn with his ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ character.

Playgirl magazine offered NFL player and former dog-fighting felon Michael Vick one million dollars to pose nude for the magazine.

The magazine would donate the money to the animal-activists group PETA -- if he agrees to a pictorial. Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio told Life and Style magazine: "I sent the request to Michael Vick on Wednesday. But we haven't heard back yet. I figured he paid back society for dog fighting, but what about the animals?

She added, we just want to see Vick’s bone during the shoot, and that “no doggie-style action would be required – this isn’t Hustler magazine.”

Jennifer Lopez split with her longtime music label, Sony Music, this week and then announced that she has a new deal, rumored to be with Def Jam, who would release her comeback album, ‘Love?’ this summer.

"I am making this statement to put an end to any confusion in regards to my next album, titled Love?" Lopez said, according to Billboard. "I have belonged to the Sony family since the beginning of my career as a singer and together we've had great success. I have fulfilled my contractual responsibilities with Sony/Epic up to this point, and we have both reached friendly terms about my departure from the label. “

Sony is happy because it retained the rights to J Lo’s ass while Def Jam will only possess her singing ability under terms of the new deal.

Fans in Australia walked out of a Whitney Houston concert Wednesday night as her voice was apparently in poor shape.

Bernadette Latta, whose son bought her the tickets as a Christmas gift, said: "It's terrible. I have never walked out before a concert finished but that was just terrible. I'll be suggesting my son tries to get a refund."

It didn’t help when Houston started her concert by announcing “I Will Always Love You, New Zealand.”

Steven Tyler reconciled with the band Aerosmith this week after months of public squabbles where the band auditioned new lead singers and Tyler went to rehab.

But now, the group announced Thursday that they will undergo a summer tour of Europe called “Cocked, Locked, Ready to Rock.”

Tyler spent his entire time away from the band coming up with that touring title.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

Obviously I’ve been misbehaving this week, and feel the subconscious need for a reckoning. So, let the punishment fit the crime today, try to keep things tidy and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Thoughts on 'Shutter Island' . . .

2010-02-22T08:32:00.005-05:00

Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: 'Shutter Island' is a solidly entertaining project, but even with Martin Scorcese at the helm and a 2 hr. 15 minute running time, it is still not strong enough to justify paying for a full price ticket.

Will I Own It On DVD: No. I might watch it one more time, but that shouldn't translate into a purchase.

Overrall Grade: B-

1) 'Shutter Island' is a twisty, atmospheric thriller that relies on trap-doors and narrative confusion to keep viewers guessing until its conclusion. Consequently, your enjoyment of this 'Island' relies heavily on how involved you become in the labryinth as it unspools and becomes increasingly dense.

2) The movie is set in the 1950s, and the action takes place amost entirely at a heavily-guarded mental institution, an island rehabilitation center filled with violent inmates and a menacing staff led by Ben Kingsley. Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo play federal marshalls assigned to the island to investigate the disappearance of a female inmate. But that skeletal starting point is merely the beginning as DiCaprio's quickly becomes ensnared by his own conflicted motivations for taking the case as he struggles to solve the mystery while also finding a way off the island.

3) The creepy, isolated island setting is probably the strongest element of the film. Scorcese uses the remote location along with the disturbing treatment facilities to instill a distinct sense of paranoia and claustrophia to the proceedings. When a hurricane blows into the island, the situation only becomes more threatening.

Scorcese is far less succesful on land, however, as 'Island' makes frequent use of flashbacks and dream sequences, neither of which I found to be overly compelling. They felt overstylized and never delivered the intendeded impact, at least not for me.

4) DiCaprio does an admirable job in the lead investigative role. He holds multiple plot threads together with his performance, and I found it interesting that DiCaprio finally looks old enough onscreen to be playing adults. For years, he's been taking on adult characters while still looking boyish thanks to his features, but in 'Island,' he finally looks his age, which will probably be a good thing for his career moving forward even though this form appears to be a bit bloated from what looks like not enough physical activity.

The supporting cast is uniformly excellent with nice turns from Kingsley and Ruffalo as well as veteran actor Max Von Shadow.

5) I really wanted to like 'Island' more than I did. I'm a fan of Scorcese and twisted plots, but it's never a good thing when you find yourself becoming less involved as the film reveals its intentions, and that's how I found myself acting towards the conclusion.

Regardless, 'Island' delivers some distinct chills, features uniformly capable acting and many people will likely be more taken in by the plot than I was as evidenced by the film's 40 million dollar opening weekend.

-BDS

{Editor's Note: Anyone who has already seen this movie - please don't leave any spoilers in the comments section. Thanks.}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-02-19T08:29:00.001-05:00

“Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave,” – Val Kilmer, ‘Tombstone’

I’m truly excited that ‘Tombstone’ is finally coming to Blu Ray next month as it features Kilmer’s best performance as Doc Holliday, and it’s also a pretty damn entertaining movie, especially for a pulpy western.

Anyway, I’ll be staying out of graveyards this weekend as my time is open and free and that is an exciting thought. So, before I leave the office by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

‘Clerks’ director Kevin Smith was taken off a plane a Southwest Airlines flight this week as the airline claimed that Smith did not fit into a single seat.

Smith complained about the incident on his Twitter account saying: "I'm way fat, but I'm not there just yet." Southwest issued an apology to the director via Twitter and its website.

The fight continued, however, as Smith challenged the airline to bring a row of seats on to a US chat show for him to prove he fit into them.

"If I don't fit, I'll donate $10k to charity of your choice. But when I do (& buckle the belt as well)? 1) You admit you lied. 2) Change your policy, or at least re-train your staff to be a lot more human & a lot less corporate," he wrote.

Regardless of who is at fault here, the one thing made abundantly clear is that Smith needs to go on a diet - immediately.

Tiger Woods’ alleged porn star mistress said this week that the golfer impregnated her twice, both times when his wife was also pregnant, according to an interview she gave to “Inside Edition.”

Joslyn James, the star of such adult classics as ‘Big Breasted Nurses’ and ‘My Sex Teacher #12,’ said her affair with Tiger Woods always involved unprotected sex.

James, 32, claimed that she miscarried in her first pregnancy at about the same time his wife, Elin Nordegren, gave birth to daughter Sam Alexis on June 18, 2007. The other ended with an abortion.

This was the story that finally broke me when it comes to paying any further attention to Tiger Woods infidelity tales, although it does entice me to rent the entire catalogue of the ‘Sex Teacher’ series because they must contain a plethora of lessons if producers needed 12 volumes to cover the course material.

Heidi Montag said this week that she wants to do ‘Playboy’ again now that her multiple plastic surgeries have healed.

"I am doing Playboy again... soon, very soon," Heidi told RadarOnline.com. "I cannot wait to show off my new (DDD) assets, I am very excited."

Wake me when Montag switches to hard-core pornography. Or maybe not.

Nicole Richie announced this week that she is engaged to Joel Madden, the father of her two children, Harlow and Sparrow.

Richie broke the news on the ‘The David Letterman Show.’ The couple have been together for three years.

Nicole said her father, Lionel Richie, was so excited by the news that he has been Dancing on the Ceiling ever since the announcement.

Charlie Sheen's wife Brooke Mueller checked into a rehab center for substance abuse this week.

Mueller, 32, checked into The Canyon rehab facility in Malibu, according to TMZ.com. Mueller's lawyer, Yale Galanter, told PEOPLE he was not prepared to comment on the report. But one source confirmed to PEOPLE, "Brooke is in rehab."

Earlier this year, Mueller checked into a North Carolina “wellness program” for “rest” rather than rehab, according to her lawyer.

Not surprisingly, her lawyer is a liar, and Brooke Mueller is on drugs – you could have blown me over with a feather on both accounts.

Gary Coleman unleashed a foul-mouthed tirade this week during an interview on "The Insider," a show Coleman had agreed to appear on to set the record straight about his recent domestic violence arrest.

The 'Diff'rent Strokes' star quickly became angry with the show's guest lawyer, Lisa Bloom, who asked him whether he attacked his wife.

He shouted, "She's (Bloom) pushing my buttons and I don't like her now, the next thing I'm going to do is leave, (expletive) you all." He stormed out of the studio, cursing all the way to his car.

Coleman continued: "She's pushing my buttons, just like my wife did and you see how that turned out." But seriously, Coleman needs help because he's got some big anger issues for such a little body.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

Sometimes the best things come in pairs, whether they be upright, cascading or just hanging out. So, swing loose and free today, enjoy the laws of gravity and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Thoughts on 'The Book of Eli' . . .

2010-02-17T09:01:00.002-05:00

Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Possibly a matinee ticket, but then again, a rental would be just fine.

Will I Own It On DVD: No. One time was enough for this one . . .

Overrall Grade: C+

1) I'm just plain tired of post-apocalyptic movies. Earth is always a wasteland, a colorless, perilious world where the lucky ones have already died and everyone else is struggling to get by as evidenced in 'Terminator: Salvation,' 'The Road' and now 'Book of Eli.' Why I've seen all these movies is another matter entirely . . .

2) 'Eli' features the afore-mentioned wasteland, and boasts Denzel Washington as the lead character, a man wandering alone carrying the only edition of the King James Bible left in the world. In this brave new world, reading is a luxury as most of the population has never learned how except for the older citizens, who still recongize the power of the written word.

Gary Oldman is one of those people. He runs a small desert town, and devotes his focus entirely to finding the rumored Bible because he believes the words inside will give him even greater power over the people left in the world.

3) The cast is what elevates 'Eli' into a project worth watching. Washington is as good as he always is as the loner who must carry the Bible west because that's what a voice told him to do. Oldman is also a worthy antagonist, although I prefer my Oldman acting in his gonzo, bat-shit crazy mode of 'The Professional,' and here, he is a bit more restrained.

4) The cinematography in the film is the other interesting aspect as the Hughes Brothers ('From Hell,'Menace 2 Society') give it a gray and washed-out appearance that makes great use of the desert landscape where most of the action occurs. There are also a couple of nicely choregraphed fight scenes as well.

5) Overrall, 'Eli'is a solid film that is elevated by its cast, notably Washington in the lead role. But at the end of the day, it doesn't add anything new to this post-apocalyptic genre, and so the decision to see it should be largely based on whether that depressed world sounds appealing to you.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-02-12T08:36:00.001-05:00

“The first thing they shoulda told you at your hooker classes is that you shouldn't ask so many fucking questions.” – Alec Baldwin, “Miami Blues”

‘Blues’ was a weird, off-beat little movie that came out long before Alec Baldwin got fat and funny, and was an interesting project. I plan to be extremely un-interesting this weekend as I am staying away from Valentine’s Day weekend price fix menus and angry chefs and instead will focus my attention inside the confines of my loft.

So, before I leave the office by 3 p.m. to pick up flowers and bring out the other items I’ve already purchased, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Jamie Lynn Spears and boyfriend Casey Aldridge have split, according to sources close to the couple, and the former Nickelodeon star is supposedly moving on in a new relationship with businessman James Watson.

"She's going through a lot of changes," says a Spears family friend. "It has been painful. She's a young mother and struggling in a lot of areas."

Spears moved out of the Liberty, Miss., house she shared Aldridge and their 19-month-old daughter, Maddie, about six weeks ago and is now living with her mother, Lynne, according to sources. The teenagers had originally planned to marry after Spears, then 16, became pregnant.

Then again, the teenagers originally planned to have sex and not get pregnant, so the best laid plans of the Spears’ clan haven’t exactly worked out all that well from the beginning.

Howard Stern confirmed this week that he is considering leaving Sirius -- and radio altogether -- to become a judge on ‘American Idol’ and replace Simon Cowell when Cowell’s contract expires at the end of this season.

"There's not a better job on the planet than judging that [bleeping] karaoke contest," Stern said.

But Stern did state that he would only join ‘Idol’ if they allowed him to bring his lesbian strippers, stuttering midgets and Robin Quivers along with him.

John Mayer told ‘Playboy’ magazine in an interview for the new issue that he was sexually addicted to Jessica Simpson.

"That girl, for me, is a drug," Mayer, 32, told Playboy. "And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me."
"Sexually it was crazy," he says. "That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."

Even when Mayer is funny you still want him to just shut the fuck up once in awhile.

As a follow-on story, Mayer reportedly broke down during a concert Wednesday, the same day the Playboy interview was made public.

"I quit the media game. I'm out. I'm done," a choked-up Mayer told the audience at Nashville, Tenn.'s Sommet Center, according to E! News. "I just want to play my guitar."

If Mayer would just play his guitar, and take the above advice, he would probably be just fine.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt sued Britain's News of the World tabloid this week over allegations it published about their relationship, their London lawyers said on Monday.

The weekly newspaper had previously reported that the couple planned to separate imminently and had agreed on how they would divide their assets and custody of their children. Keith Schilling of Schillings law firm said the News of the World failed to meet the couple's "reasonable demands" for a retraction of the story and apology.

Their “reasonable demands” included provisions for the newspaper to adopt multiple children from different countries, and for entire editorial staff to receive a ritual flogging from Jolie, neither of which they consented to take part in.

Charlie Sheen was charged with felony menacing Monday in an Aspen court, but the judge also lifted a portion of a protection order that prohibits him from having contact with his wife.

Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen, left the courthouse together following the verdict. It was Sheen's first court appearance since he was jailed Christmas Day in Aspen on domestic violence allegations, and Prosecutor Arnold Mordkin also filed two misdemeanor charges, third-degree assault and criminal mischief, against Sheen, 44.

The felony menacing count stems from allegations that Sheen held his wife at knife point and told her, “You better be in fear. If you tell anybody, I'll kill you. Your mother's money means nothing. I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won't leave any trace.”

That sounds like a parody of some bad Charlie Sheen movie, and it would be even funnier if I didn’t think that Sheen actually believed the words that he threatened Mueller with.

Alex Rodriguez partied with Cameron Diaz in Miami this week during Super Bowl weekend leading to speculation that the two hooked up.

“They were having a great time,” a partygoer told OK! magazine. And this wasn’t a one-night thing, according to the snitch. “A-Rod and Cameron have been totally hooking up.”

I guess Rodriguez showed Diaz a Squeeze Play back in his hotel room after she Stole his heart on the dance floor with her Single-girl out on the town persona, and I just hope they used a Safe word if things turned kinky.

Tom Cruise announced this week that he will produce and star in “Mission: Impossible IV,” Paramount Studios confirmed on Tuesday.

“Tom and J.J. are great talents and we are excited to be working with them to re-launch this legendary franchise,” Paramount Pictures Chairman and CEO Brad Grey said in a statement on Tuesday. The film will be released on Memorial Day weekend 2011.

The impossible mission here will be to actually make a 4th installment that people want to watch.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

My brain feels fuzzy today so I’ll just let these images speak for themselves. So, don’t worry if you’re at a loss for words today, put your best (ass)ets forward and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

February Sucks . . .

2010-02-09T08:46:00.001-05:00

February sucks.

As far as I’m concerned this month is about as useful to me as non-alcoholic beer, soft-core pornography and intelligent animals that still lack opposable thumbs all put together. I think it was the recent run of gray and rainy and cool days that served to remind me of the genuine awful nature of February. Quite simply, there is nothing to look forward to except that the month is mercifully short.

Otherwise, you are forced to deal with a month that boasts no real holidays, only the most cloying and annoying one of them all – Valentine’s Day. And usually these 28 day prison sentences are spent surrounded by patches of the worst weather imaginable. The sky is gray and angry, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli, and constantly threatens the best of intentions.

What else?

Oh yeah, this is also the time of year where they dump the worst movies on the general public as only the real turkeys and debacles and misfires are released. Television is a minor respite. Sports, however, concludes in February with the Super Bowl, which should be a good thing, but in actuality, only provides an upset stomach from eating too much greasy food and a hangover the next day and the sudden realization that football season really is over for a long while.

This unrelenting assault from the February seasonal forces tends to make me extremely grumpy, and I’ve noticed that I have an even shorter fuse than usual when dealing with morons, buffoons, numbskulls, dipshits, shit-heads, Fuller Brush salesman, fuck-knuckles and telemarketers. It’s a vicious cycle indeed.

I think the only reasonable way to deal with this month is to sleep as much as possible, with the hope that one day when you open your eyes, the calendar will read March 1st.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-02-05T08:28:00.001-05:00

“Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where the fuck are the God damn Twinkies?” – Woody Harrelson, ‘Zombieland’

Harrelson was pretty damn good in this entertaining flick, and since he was just nominated for a Best Supporting Oscar this week for ‘The Messenger’ I figured that I would pay my respects. Personally, I haven’t eaten a Twinkie in years, but that movie made me want to find those indestructible little yellow snack cakes and have a few.

Anyway, before I hit the office doors by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Actor Rip Torn was released on bail on Monday and was headed for rehab after police said they found him drunk and armed with a loaded gun in a closed Connecticut bank last week.

Torn 78, was charged in court with burglary, criminal trespass and weapons offenses but did not enter a plea. He was released on $100,000 bond, a court spokeswoman said.
Torn's lawyer said the actor was disoriented and believed he was at home at the time of his arrest. He was fond on Friday inside a bank in his home town of Salisbury, Connecticut.

Mr Torn believed he was at home," his lawyer told Reuters. "Based upon that belief he would not have the necessary intent to commit a crime."

The redundantly named actor also hopes to avoid being ripped or torn when he goes to jail. Ouch.

“Jersey Shore” star Snooki denied rumors this week that a sex tape featuring the starlet was making the rounds and up for sale.

Radar Online reported that Snooki was featured in nude photos and video, which were being shopped around to various media outlets. Snooki took to her Twitter page to deny it, writing, ““Like i said before about my supposed ‘sex tape’…There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip.”

This is one case where I really hope the celebrity is telling the truth, and that a flesh-baring video of Snooki never, ever surfaces.

Rap mogul Sean 'Diddy' Combs said this week that he plans to launch a business school in the New York area.

He told CNN, "I want to have an academy that's known for building leaders. I feel that's one of the things I can have an impact on."

Class choices will include: ‘The Art of Cristal Pouring,’ ‘How to wear sunglasses at night,’ and feature an advanced curriculum concerning ‘The best way to give yourself multiple names.’

Taylor Swift’s duet with Stevie Nicks at the Grammy awards this past week generated a bit of controversy as many bloggers accused Swift of being out of tune.

On Wednesday, the CEO of her record label went on the offensive to defend her performance and blames a technical issue for the problem. "This is not American Idol. This is not a competition of getting up and seeing who can sing the highest note," Big Machine Records CEO Scott Borchetta told The Associated Press. "This is about a true artist and writer and communicator. It's not about a technically perfect performance."

Maybe, but for some people, it was Swift's technically imperfect performance that seems to be drawing the criticism.

Mel Gibson called a reporter an ‘asshole’ this week during an interview to promote his new film ‘Edge of Darkness.’

Gibson was on an early morning satellite interview with Chicago's WGN-TV when reporter Dean Richards asked him, "Do you think the public will perceive you any differently after all that's been in the news about you?"

"That's almost four years ago, dude," Gibson said. "I've done all the necessary mea culpas. Let's move on." At the end of the interview, Gibson was heard muttering ‘asshole’ under his breath before the satellite feed went off the air.

The only real news here is that Gibson didn't use the word Jewish in front of the insult, so maybe he did learn something from his arrest four years ago.

Heidi Montag filmed a reunion with her mother this week for the reality show ‘The Hills,’ their first meeting since Heidi underwent 10 plastic-surgery procedures in one day and the meeting didn’t go so well.

"I was nervous, but also excited … I never thought in my wildest dreams she was going to react the way she did," Montag, 23, told PEOPLE. "She was looking at me almost like a zoo animal. It wasn't like I was her daughter anymore. She was looking at me like I was a circus freak."

Meanwhile, a group of circus freaks are silently fuming, and telling anyone who will listen that they don’t look nearly as bad as Heidi.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

Sometimes it top-down and other times it's bottoms-up, and both are fine in my book. So, embrace duality today, try to remember up from down and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Thoughts on 'Avatar' . . .

2010-02-02T08:54:00.000-05:00

Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Avatar 3-D: Full Price; Avatar without 3-D: Matinee Price.

Will I Own It On DVD: Probably not. The caveat – if 3-D televisions do come out in the next few years, work well and aren’t priced sky high, then I probably will own ‘Avatar’ at some point. Until then, however, the answer is no.

Overrall Grade: Movie itself: B-; Movie Experience: A-

1) To finally watch ‘Avatar’ I spent the past two weeks trying to figure out a system. The first time I simply showed up at the local IMAX theater 45 minutes early for the first showing on a Saturday only to discover the entire day was sold out and people were lined up out the door to get seats for the showing once the ushers opened the theater. This was 5 weeks into the film’s theatrical run.

So, this past weekend, I bought tickets online a few days before Saturday, got there 1 hour early and extracted a fine pair of seats to watch the flick. The question in my mind was: Is this going to be worth the hassle, and the answer was yes.

2) The plot of ‘Avatar’ is nothing new – it reminded me greatly of ‘The New World’ (sans the sci-fi angle) in the most recent cinematic example I could summon – as the film is set in a future where Earth has been ruined by the depletion of its natural resources, so humans have gone to the planet of Pandora to harvest a rich energy source that occurs there. As could be expected, they come into harsh conflict with the indigenous blue inhabitants, a group of people who are in complete tune with Mother Nature and revere their surroundings. You can guess what conflict happens next . . .

3) But the best parts of ‘Avatar’ occur away from the main plot thread as I would guess that nearly an hour of the 2 hr and 43 minute running time is spent exploring Pandora’s geography, which is very cool with the 3-D effects in full force. During the day, the planet is a lush environment filled with massive trees, mountains and waterfalls, and at night, it turns into the best black-light poster ever conceived as vibrantly-lit, neon exteriors abound in every direction. It looks absolutely fantastic.

4) The acting in the film is universally solid with few real stand-outs. Sigorney Weaver as a scientist trying to ingratiate herself with the natives rises above some of the bludgeoning dialogue, and Zoe Saldana as the warrior princes of the native tribe is also quite good. The men don’t fare quite as well. Sam Worthington is servicable as a marine sent in an Avatar blue body to learn more about the natives, and instead, ends up falling for their way of life. Shocking, I know.

5) Overrall, 'Avatar' is a visual feast with a pedestrian story supporting it. This turns out to be enough, however, because the 3-D effects are astonishing, and they really place you directly in the action, which is only heightened by the fact that it occurs on a different planet and so it's easy to get lost in there, especially when it appears that trees and flying creatures and other foliage are constnatly coming at you from the screen itself.

This film really will suffer greatly when it transitions to home video. If 'Avatar' holds any interest for you, then I definitely recommend going to a theater with 3-D and checking it out for yourself.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-01-29T09:29:00.001-05:00

“Chicken Shit!” – Brad Pitt, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”
“Pussy!” – Angelina Jolie, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”

I have a feeling that Pitt and Jolie’s fights at home probably involve dialogue just like this, however, that’s purely speculation. Anyway, I plan on cursing only in celebration this weekend since it’s my birthday today and I plan to acknowledge that fact through downtown drinks, steak dinners and presents from now until Sunday.

So, before I leave the office by noon today, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Representatives for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie refuted claims this week that couple was splitting up.

It was reported in several places that the couple, in anticipation of a split, has drawn up papers that would settle custody of their kids and divide their fortune. Reps for the couple, however, stated that Jolie and Pitt are “just fine” they were “just busy lately.”

Their reps did say, however, that if the couple does split up that they planned to divide custody of the children by region of origin with Jolie taking the Eastern hemisphere and Pitt the West.

Gary Coleman was arrested in Utah this week on a domestic-violence warrant, sources said.

Cops in Santaquin, outside Salt Lake City, would not comment on the arrest, but Utah County jail records indicate that Coleman, 41, was being held in lieu of $1,725 bail for the 2009 warrant.

The domestic violence charges against Coleman stuck when police allegedly saw the bruises on the shins of his wife, a bruise pattern that correlated to his reach.

Comedian Andy Dick was arrested for two counts of felony sexual abuse this week for unwanted groping at a comedy club in West Virginia.

"Based upon statements of two victims and independent witness accounts alleging that he had engaged in unwanted and uninvited groping of the two victims' genital areas, Andrew R. Dick (AKA Andy Dick) of South Pasadena, Calif., was arrested and charged with two counts of Sex Abuse in the First Degree," read a statement from the Huntington Police Department.

The attack allegedly happened after Dick appeared at the Funny Bone Comedy Club and Restaurant in Huntington, West Virginia.

The cops said Dick was heard groping and slurring “I’ll find your funny bone you sexy beast” before he was arrested.

Kiefer Sutherland revealed this week that he lost $869,000 in an alleged cattle-investment operation scheme that went awry, according to the San Joaquin County District Attorney's office.

Through a financial advisor, Sutherland became involved with suspect Michael Wayne Carr. Carr allegedly promised to buy cattle in Mexico and resell them in the U.S. for a profit. The buy money was transferred, however, there is no evidence that any cattle buying or selling took place, prosecutors say. Carr is expected to be arraigned Feb. 8th on 12 felony charges.

Meanwhile, Sutherland is wondering around in a daze and asking anyone he passes “Where’s the Beef?” (Nice modern reference, eh?)

Charlie Sheen's wife Brooke Mueller checked into a North Carolina "wellness program" after her release from intensive care following wisdom tooth surgery, according to People magazine.

Her lawyer, Yale Galanter, confirmed that she's in a "facility where she can rest, rest, rest" and get "competent medical care for her mind and body." He said that despite her history of drug abuse that she is not being treated for addiction. "Brooke did not enter a drug rehab program," Galanter tells PEOPLE. "She has been drug free for six months. Since Christmas day, she has been assaulted by her husband, almost lost her life, and developed pneumonia.”

He continued with: “And that’s a crazy bunch of drama that could drive anyone to take drugs, but she’s not there for drugs. I promise.”

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

What these images have in common was big, beautiful birthday smiles . . . anything else is purely coincidental. So, show off your pearly whites today, flash your grin or other parts f your body as you see fit and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{R.I.P. Howard Zinn & J.D. Salinger}

Centaurs & Motivation . . .

2010-01-26T10:59:00.001-05:00

An old co-worker sent me an email this week with a motivational picture attached.

I had completely forgotten that I wrote the above statement. It happened about two years ago when our boss decided to start posting “inspirational/motivational” messages on the cork board outside his office. I have no idea why this practice began, but I’ve always found the decision to rally people’s work ethic through pithy ramblings to be a losing proposition since I generally feel that anyone who would actually be inspired by such words would also be a person who I never would have hired in the first place .

But that’s just me.

Anyway, one day we all started to find posted messages about teamwork, never giving up, leaving it all on the field, insert your cliché here posted on the board. About two weeks into the project, I began to post my own messages like the centaur line to combat the propoganda. This was relatively easy since I generally arrive at the office before most people get there, and so I remained anonymous throughout several weeks of postings, even speaking to my boss about my suspicions that other departments might be coming over to sabotage his work.

In the end, he took the board down, and that was worth the effort. But obviously my logic struck upon some glaring universal truths because it caused a co-worker to take and store a picture from a message posted in 2008.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-01-22T08:52:00.002-05:00

“I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less.” – Robert Duvall, ‘Lonesome Dove’

‘Dove’ is quite possibly the best TV mini-series ever made, although to be fair, I don’t watch that many of them. But is still somewhat amazing how well they pulled it off, even with a truly stellar novel as the source material.

Anyway, I plan to echo Duvall and do less work today to balance the scales. But before I hit the road by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

A judge in Colorado has postponed a hearing this week in the domestic violence case involving Charlie Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller.

The restraining order previously issued was also modified Wednesday so that Sheen could visit his wife in a Los Angeles hospital, where she was admitted with a high fever and an infection following oral surgery to remove her wisdom teeth.

Funny, I assumed Mueller had her wisdom teeth removed long ago since a distinct lack of wisdom would have explained why she married Sheen in the first place.

Kim Kardashian denied reports that surfaced this week in the New York Post that she made a deal with boyfriend Reggie Bush: If the Saints win the Super Bowl, then he’ll ask her to marry him.

"This is not true," Kardashian wrote Tuesday on her blog. "I never made any kind of bet.”

Bush later rescinded his statement that he would stop Fumbling around and marry Kardashian if she was Tight End rather than a Wide Receiver. Ouch.

John Mayer appeared on the cover of the current Rolling Stone magazine this week, and admitted that his breakup with Jennifer Aniston was a mistake.

"I've never really gotten over it," Mayer said in the interview. "It was one of the worst times of my life."

More specifically, Mayer has never really gotten over all the media attention that he received when he was actually dating Anniston instead of merely talking about her.

Tiger Woods is allegedly being treated for sex addiction at a facility in Mississippi, according to a journalist and author of a book on the affliction.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis, a recovering sex addict, said a source with knowledge of the golfer's treatment has confirmed Woods is at Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services.

Woods is apparently at that particular clinic because there’s no one in the entire state of Mississippi that he wants to sleep with.

{Editor’s Note: I have never personally been to Mississippi, so the above statement was hyperbolic and meant for humorous effect as I’m sure there are many people I would sleep with inside the state if circumstances, personal morality and other things weren’t in the way.}

NBC reached a $45 million deal with Conan O’Brien for his exit from the “Tonight Show” Thursday, a move that will allow Jay Leno to return to the late-night program he hosted for 17 years.

The deal will pay O’Brien more than $33 million, NBC said. The rest will go to his staff in severance, the network said in an announcement on the TODAY show.

I wish someone would pay me $33 million to leave my job because I’d be gone tomorrow without a word of complaint.

Heidi Montag's debut album sold less than 1,000 copies, according to Nielsen Soundscan, an extremely low figure that could affect Montag’s finances since she put some of her own money into the disc.

She told EW, "I put every dollar I have into this. I've spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality... The songs will make an impact in pop history."

The chasm between actual reality and Montag’s plastic-coated reality seems to be growing wider with each passing day, and soon enough, I fear the Earth will swallow her whole and she will never be heard from again. Hopefully.

Amy Winehouse plead guilty this week to drunkenly assaulting a theater manager at a family Christmas show this past December.

In court, it was revealed that Winehouse had five vodka and Coke drinks before going to the show that starred Mickey Rooney, and became loud during the performance. During the show, she left the auditorium and went to the bar to ask manager Richard Pound for another drink. He suggested she have a glass of water instead and then asked her to leave.

He said Winehouse "with no premeditation, grabbed his hair and pulled." Winehouse was ordered to pay the manager about $300 and the equivalent of two years of probation.

She was also ordered to change her name to Amy VodkaCokehouse to more accurately reflect her beverage choices.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:

The weather is a perfect 75 degrees and sunny today, and I feel like shedding some clothes and hitting the sheets. So, wear your clothes however you see fit, don't feel bad about lounging around and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Thoughts on 'Sherlock Holmes' . . .

2010-01-19T10:06:00.003-05:00

Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Matinee. ‘Sherlock Holmes’ is frivolous fun, and despite clocking in at more than two hours, this one is perfect for a low-pressure matinee price.

Will I Own It On DVD: No. I would watch it one more time, but that’s not enough to justify a purchase.

Overrall Grade: Movie: B-

1) ‘Sherlock Holmes’ is very much an updated version of the famous super sleuth. This new spin maintains Holmes’ powers of detection, but also casts the well-known figure as a backstreet brawler, a man who likes to use his mind to inflict punishment with his fists. I wasn’t entirely excited about this addition to the character as my favorite parts of the new film showcased his powers of mental deduction, however, the fisticuffs didn’t detract from the overall product either.

2) The actual plot of the film centers around black magic, the occult and vaguely on Manifest Destiny or something like that. It’s really not that important, but instead, merely serves as a vessel to allow Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes and Jude Law as his best friend and ally, Dr. Watson, to run around London while trying to foil the nefarious plans of Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong).

3) Downey Jr. and Law display a really fine chemistry that is by far the best attribute of the film. Without their dynamic and frequently amusing interaction, the movies would have suffered greatly. Instead, these actors play off one another with excellent precision, and the casting director made a stellar choice in pairing them together.

4) The rest of the cast doesn't fare quite as well. Strong makes a servicable villian, however, Rachel McAdams is painfully bad in several scenes as Holmes' former lover and a mysterious woman of action. She appears to be acting in an entirely different movie on occasion, and never settles comfortably into her role.

5) 'Sherlock Holmes' is an entertaining update of the classic character that is also unmistakably a Guy Ritchie ('Snatch') film. Ritchie never met a project that he wouldn't try to stuff with slow-motion brawling body shots and quivering muscles and he brings that to bear in this one as well. But while the explosions and fighting keep the pace moving along, it is the bantering between Downey Jr. and Law that makes it worth paying for a ticket.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-01-15T08:42:00.004-05:00

“I drink your milkshake!” – Daniel Day-Lewis, ‘There Will Be Blood’

‘Blood’ was a good movie that I really never care to see again because it wasn’t particularly enjoyable to sit through since there were no characters to root for, which is always difficult proposition for me.

Regardless, I probably won’t be drinking milkshakes today as I’ve got someone coming over to fix my upstairs heater, plan to do some work, have another phone interview for a potential new gig, and then later, plan to meet my brother for a few beers downtown before attending a CD release concert at Antone’s, a famous blues joint in Austin.

But before any of that occurs, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Lindsay Lohan was back in the news this week as a vehicle carrying the “Mean Girls” star reportedly struck and injured a photographer in Hollywood.

Web site TMZ.com reported that Lohan’s BMW allegedly struck the photographer at 12:30 a.m. in front of Hotel Cafe in Hollywood on Sunday, and then sped away from the scene. The 23-year-old singer/actress was not driving the vehicle but was inside the car at the time. ‘Entertainment Tonight’ cited the Los Angeles Police Department, and reported that an ambulance was called out to the scene of the accident and EMTs treated the photographers injured hand.

Lohan was heard cackling at the scene, “if they have no hands, they can take no photographs.” She has denied any involvement in the accident.

Channing Tatum told an interviewer for the current issue of ‘Details’ magazine that the actor severely burned his penis during a movie shoot last year.

The actor had been shooting the drama The Eagle of the Ninth last October in the freezing cold Scottish Highlands when the incident occurred.

“The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your suit," Tatum, 29, told the magazine. "We were finally done shooting for the day, and one of the crew guys asks if I want to warm up before I go. I'm like, Nah, I'm good. And then I thought, Why not? . . . It just went straight down and pretty much burned the skin off the head of my dick."

I’d have more sympathy for Tatum if he didn’t VOLUNTARILY pour BOILING WATER down his pants, and I’m quite certain that his penis will never, ever forgive him.

Kiefer Sutherland appeared on the Late Show With David Letterman wearing a dress.

The '24' starwore a green sundress and black combat boots on the talk show after losing a bet on a football game.

"I lost a bet over the weekend - I was so sure the New England [Patriots] were going to win that I told a guy who used to be my friend that if New England lost, I would wear a dress on Letterman," he explained.

Sutherland had 24 hours to find matching pantyhose, but failed miserably despite running, sweating and yelling 'get out of the way' on the streets of NYC.

Sony studios announced this week that it has pulled out of "Spider-Man 4" with director Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire, and the studio plans to reboot the franchise for 2012 with another team -- another actor and director in charge.

Sony also announced that they intend for the reboot to suck.

Conan O’Brien rejected NBC’s attempt to move ‘The Tonight Show’ to a post-midnight slot to accomoate Jay Leno’s return to late-night television.

In a statement Tuesday, O'Brien says that NBC has given him a scant seven months to try to establish himself as host of "Tonight,” and that he hoped that he and NBC could resolve the issue quickly so he could do a show of which he and his crew could be proud — "for a company that values our work."

Meanwhile, I will continue to watch neither of these shows regardless of what time NBC chooses to air them.

Reality star Heidi Montag appeared on the cover of ‘People Magazine’ this week, and admitted that she is obsessed with plastic surgery.

The 23-year-old, who had a rhinoplasty and breast augmentation in 2007, confessed to going under the knife a second time and having 10 procedures in one day, according to People.com.

"For the past three years, I've thought about what to have done," Montag says. "I'm beyond obsessed." She says the plastic surgery is helping her become "the best me" she can be.

Unfortunately, medical science surgical procedures have yet to advance far enough to implant a working brain inside Montag's head.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

I lied. I've actually been so damn busy this week that I couldn't find two other worthy images that weren't hard-core porn. So, take what you can get today, favor quality over quantity and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Thoughts on 'Crazy Heart' . . .

2010-01-12T08:44:00.003-05:00

Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Matinee - although you could justify paying full price if you love this kind of music, or if you based it around watching Jeff Bridge's performance, which is excellent.

Will I Own It On DVD: Probably.

Overrall Grade: Movie: B; Jeff Bridges: A

1) 'Crazy Heart' is a character sketch with Bridges portraying Bad Blake, a one-time country music star, now reduced to playing low-rent venues while spending his days and nights in one long boozy slog to the bottom. His descent is buffered when he falls for a single mother music writer (Maggie Gyllenhaal), and attempts a comeback by writing songs for his one-time protegee Tommy Sweet (an unbilled Colin Farrell) who has since exploded into a huge recording star.

2) This plot material could have played like, well a bad country song, if entrusted to lesser hands, however, 'Heart' pulls stellar performances from its cast, and just as importantly, the music feels authentic and essential to the storyline.

3) The songs and score were largely overseen by T. Bone Burnett ('O Brother Where Art Thou') and longtime Austin musician Stephen Bruton. In addition, Bridges plays guitar and sings all his songs in the movie, as does Farrell. I generally loathe Nashville country music, and so I was relieved to watch as 'Heart' is more concerned with the singer-songwriter tracks that were both orginally written for this film as well as pulled from other artists like Waylon Jennings, Townes Van Zandt and Billy Joe Shaver. Finally, real life artist Ryan Bingham, has a song over the closing credits - 'The Weary Kind' - which is excellent and has been nominated for a Golden Globe for best original song.

4) None of the above would have mattered nearly as much without Jeff Bridges in the role of Bad Blake. He wears this sloppy yet prideful singer's warts and depleted talent like a second skin. With a halting gait and gnarled voice from too many late nights and cigarettes, Bridges nails the role, which will surely earn him an Oscar nomination for Best Actor this year (joining George Clooney for 'Up in the Air').

5) Overrall, 'Crazy Heart' is a worthy effort that is only hampered by a somewhat implausible romance, at least to me, and the relative ease with which Bridges cleans himself up. But the music and the acting is top-notch, and makes this one easy to recommend.

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2010-01-08T08:56:00.000-05:00

“I can eat fifty eggs.” – Paul Newman, ‘Cool Hand Luke’

I got this film on Blu Ray for Christmas, and it really does hold up well, even if the thought of eating 50 eggs during one sitting makes me want to throw up. And I like eggs. Anyway, before I hit the door by 3 p.m. today for greener pastures, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

In Tiger Woods news, an unidentified individual is reportedly shopping a sex tape to porn industry giant Vivid Entertainment that allegedly shows the golfer engaged in the buff.

According to TMZ.com, Vivid co-founder Steven Hirsch, said that a woman approached him with a sex video of Woods that she claims was shot two years ago. Hirsch said he has seen a 30-second clip of the video, but won't confirm Tiger's identity.

Woods' lawyers have already sent a letter threatening to go after anyone who publishes nude photos and videos of the 34-year-old golf star. Vivid previously offered $1 million to "any woman who has proof she was a paramour of Tiger Woods and will sign a contract with the studio."

I could care less about this viewing this alleged sex tape, unless of course, it involves an actual tiger in the equation and only then for a bit of shock value.

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves welcomed their second child - a girl named Vida Alves McConaughey - this week.

Vida joins the couple’s son, Levi, who is 17 months old.

I have a strong suspicion that McConaughey bestowed these names their future Christmas cards can read: “We’re Levi'n La Vida Loco at the Mateo Pad – Happy Holidays and stay tubular everybody.”

Russell Brand and Katy Perry confirmed their engagement this week.

No wedding date was announced in the statement, issued Wednesday, and no other details were available. Brand met Perry, 25, when he hosted last year's MTV Video Music Awards and she performed.

Something about this union just reeks of bad personal hygiene, and I can’t figure out why . . .

"Diff'rent Strokes" actor Gary Coleman was admitted to a Los Angeles hospital for tests after complaining that he didn't feel well.

Coleman's agent, Robert Malcolm, says the 41-year-old actor was doing promotional work at a hotel Wednesday morning and went to his room to rest. He was later released after examination and is said to be doing fine.

The doctor who examined Coleman refused to release him until he said “What you talkin’ bout Doc,” without slurring his words.

Excerpts from a new book on Warren Beatty leaked this week, and the author claims that the Hollywood actor has slept with nearly 13,000 over the course of his life.

The book is 'Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America," and biographer Peter Biskind came to his numbers based on "simple arithmetic." Biskind estimates "12,775 women, give or take, a figure that does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on."

No wonder Beatty hasn’t done a movie in nearly a decade – the poor man is dog-tired from all that sex.

Hanes brand clothing and underwear dropped its advertising campaign featuring Charlie Sheen this week because of domestic violence charges filed against the actor.

Company spokesman Matt Hall said Wednesday that it was a "pretty standard, straightforward call" by the brand marketing team given the allegations.

Hall did acknowledge, however, that the company had ignored allegations made by the public for the past several years that the commercials were rubbish anyway.

Kate Gosselin celebrated her divorce to Jon Gosselin and the New Year and had celebrity hairstylist Ted Gibson give her tons of extensions before showing off the ‘do this week on the cover of People Magazine.

Gibson said the session was easy except that Kate was reluctant to let go of the thick, jaw-length shock of hair in the front of her face in favor of bangs.

“She wasn’t sure about bangs,” says Gibson, “But I find many women have that one thing they’re afraid to let go of, that one ‘security blanket’ part of their look, whether it’s a fear of going shorter or darker or something. But once they finally let go and embrace the change, they always love it.”

Is it me or does this whole bangs reluctance explanation seem like a cagey metaphor for her decision to divorce Jon Gosselin?

Vince Vaughn married real estate agen Kyla Weber in a small ceremony before family and friends, People.com reported this week.

Vaughn, 39, had been seeing the 31-year-old Canadian for more than two years.

Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell allegedly Wedding Crashed their nuptials.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

The theme of lounging and nudity seems like a good one to me today since the weather is cold and these are the two activities that seem most appealing. So, take it easy today, don’t feel bad about any slothful behavior and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Thoughts on 'Up in the Air' . . .

2010-01-05T09:24:00.000-05:00

Worth Full-Price, Matinee or Rental: Full price. 'Up in the Air' uses a timely storyline and pulls stellar performances from its entire cast to deliver what is easily one of the best movies of the year.

Will I Own It On DVD: Probably. I'm trying to recalculate exactly what my criteria will be for buying movies moving forward in 2010, but I definitely want to see this film another time or two because it's worth it.

Overrall Grade: A-

1) Occasionally, through a sliver of foresight and an extreme bit of luck, a movie will be released that fits so nicely into the current cultural climate that it seems a physic must have green-lit the project. So it goes with ‘Up in the Air,’ a movie about a professional corporate downsizer (George Clooney) who travels back and forth across the country while delivering painful job news for the masses, and due to the rotten overall economy, this position keeps Clooney constantly in the air, which is just where he prefers to be. His life becomes complicated, however, when a recent Cornell graduate (Anna Kendrick) joins his firm and recommends cutting back on travel costs by having associates terminate employees via remote teleconferencing. As this unfolds, Clooney also meets a fellow corporate traveler (Vera Farmiga) who enjoys the transient lifestyle as much as he does.

2) ‘Up in the Air’ has been sold by its marketing team largely as a comedy, and while there are occasionally amusing bits which offer smiles rather than laugh out loud moments - despite a large woman sitting a few rows up and to my left whose crazed staccato laugh painted even the most mundane scenes with an unwelcome tenor - the film tilts far closer towards drama than anything else. It’s a tough movie, especially given the subject matter, but it is also a rewarding experience.

3) Clooney’s performance is one of dignified detachment – at least until he decides he does indeed want to connect with real people on the ground. He gives a performance that is generating Oscar buzz for Best Actor, and I would be surprised if he doesn’t receive a nomination.

4) The overall cast is also uniformly excellent as there is not a weak link among them. Kendrick takes what could have been a cloying role as a young, ambitious newcomer and turns it into a vaguely sympathetic one. Jason Bateman is also very good as Clooney’s boss. But it is Verma Farga (‘The Departed’) as a fellow frequent flier who develops a romance with Clooney who really shines and who might end up with a Best Support Actress Oscar nomination.

5) ‘Up in the Air’ is a really fine film. It’s a project without obvious good guys and villains. Instead, it accomplishes an even trickier narrative where complexity reigns over the participants, and the end results are well worth viewing even when the subject matter is tough.

-BDS

Quick Hit New Year's Day Friday . . .

2010-01-01T09:35:00.001-05:00

"You know, fightin' in a basement offers a lot of difficulties. Number one being, you're fightin' in a basement!” – Brad Pitt, ‘Inglorious Basterds’

I am not in a brawling mood today since it’s officially a New Year, and personally, I’ve been ready to put 2009 behind me for a long time now. I do feel optimistic about 2010 – especially once I eat my black eyed peas for luck and watch football and drink mimosas today – but before any of that can occur, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Charlie Sheen was arrested and spent part of Christmas Day in jail after being booked on second-degree assault and menacing charges, both felonies, along with criminal mischief, a misdemeanor, in Colorado.

It’s being reported that Sheen is accused on using a weapon – a knife - in the alleged case of domestic violence. The star of the TV show “Two and Half Men” was released after posting an $8,500 bond. Prosecutors will determine whether to file charges.

The fight apparently started after his wife asked Sheen to explain the show’s inexplicably massive popularity.

Meanwhile, in other law-breaking news, Ivana Trump was escorted off a plane in Florida this week after she became belligerent with children who were running and screaming in the aisles.

Authorities say the first ex-wife of Donald Trump cursed at the children, and when flight attendants on the New York-bound plane tried to calm her, she became even more aggravated. Palm Beach County sheriff's deputies asked Trump to voluntarily exit the plane, but they said she refused. She was then escorted off.

This constitutes the first (and likely the only time) that I am generally in agreement with Ivana Trump.

Jon Gosselin returned to his NYC apartment after the holidays to find it burglarized and vandalized, his lawyer confirmed to Access Hollywood this week.

”[Jon] entered his apartment in Manhattan and was horrified, disheartened, and saddened to observe the devastation of his furniture, clothing and personal belongings, which were apparently slashed with a butcher knife by a very troubled and sick perpetrator,” Gosselin’s lawyer, Mark Jay Heller said.

Heller told Radar Online that security video will prove that Gosselin's recent girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, was to blame for the burglary and "is going to jail. It's as simple as that." Glassman has denied the charges.

The note apparently read: "I came here to steal something valuable and all I could find was a closet full of stupid t-shirts, expired milk and the whole place smells like failure."

Tyra Banks announced this week that her talk show – ‘The Tyra Show’ – will end after its fifth season.

Banks says she’ll continue with her reality show "America's Next Top Model" and is forming a new production studio with plans to make movies. She also promised new digital projects, but gave no details. About her own show, Banks said: "I've been loving having fun, coming into your living rooms, bedrooms, hair salons for the past five years."

Banks later added: “But I really need to find more projects that focus solely around me, and talk shows by their very nature, have to be about other people some of the time.”

Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are now just friends, according to Us Magazine.

The break-up of the young stars was apparently linked to the fact that he lives in L.A. and she lives in Nashville.

It was also linked to the power struggle between the duo of exactly which one should spin their head around when someone cried out 'Taylor!'

An unearthed photo came to light this week that allegedly shows former president John F. Kennedy sunbathing on a boat full of naked women, according to a new report from TMZ.com, but then days later, the site confirmed the photo turned out to be fake.

The creased, black and white photo showed one naked woman jumping off the side of the boat, another climbing up a ladder back onto the boat and two others sunning themselves. Then there is a man who looks like Kennedy lying on the deck wearing swimming trunks. TMZ noted that there are references in article and books to a boat trip Kennedy took in 1956 with his brother Ted and Sen. George Smathers to the Mediterranean.

This is what happens when news outlets let TMZ.com actually break the news.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

New Year's is all about color for me, so a black and white image break seemed worthwhile. So, add a splash of vibrancy to your outfit, soak in the New Year with someone you enjoy and . . . Happy New Year's Day Friday!

-BDS

It's A Family Tradition . . .

2009-12-28T08:57:00.002-05:00

I’m a firm believer in traditions, especially around this time of year.

For good or ill, I think they serve a useful purpose because they help trigger or condition the brain to respond to the seasonal stimuli. It might be bringing home a Christmas tree, Aunt Betty getting drunk on sherry, you getting drunk on Anchor Steam Christmas Ale alone, watching ‘A Christmas Story,’ sleeping with an ex-girlfriend, carving the turkey or roasting a beef tenderloin, but the constant is that no matter how simple or complex or potentially embarrassing they are, these traditions remind you of the holidays.

My personal favorite started a long time ago. I must have been about ten years old when it began with a note from Santa in our fireplace. My brother and I had already unwrapped all the presents, and we thought we were done until my Dad innocently asked us to look at a white piece of paper sitting on top of a pile of wood. We did. It was a riddle that led us around the house to other notes, and eventually, up to the roof where I had a skateboard waiting and my brother had a scooter (push, not electric).

Since then, things have changed with family additions and wives and girlfriends, but the each year there is always a note from Santa in the fireplace right after we finish opening all the gifts. The puzzles have gotten progressively harder over the years. One time, somewhere around high school, we even had to go off-site to a local Barnes and Noble where my Dad had hidden the next clue inside a copy of a Kurt Vonnegut book that proceeded to send us back to our house. I’m still not certain what would have happened if someone would have purchased that book before we got there.

The riddles typically take on the form of a crossword puzzle where certain letters of each answer are important and spell out the next location. The questions are nearly always culled from books, movies and music that we’ve seen, talked about or asked for that year for Christmas. This past week, they included questions regarding:

• ‘The Wild Bunch’ movie
• Bloom County comic strip
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo book
• Tom Waits
• The way Hemingway took his whiskey (Neat)
• Flogging Molly band
• Robert Earl Keen
• Brave New World novel

There were many others, but we eventually discovered the clues with help from our respective wives and girlfriends and in the end, we found a plethora of gift cards to use around Austin.

My brother and I are obviously too old to legitimately claim this tradition should continue, but it works. We all like it, and I believe my parents might care about it even more than we do. But it’s not really Christmas until a note from Santa arrives – single-spaced and always one long page – followed by a puzzle that can only mean the holidays are here.

-BDS

Quick Hit Early Christmas Friday . . .

2009-12-24T09:39:00.005-05:00

"Why don't you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first.” – Billy Bob Thorton, ‘Bad Santa’

That's not exactly the Christmas spirit, so here's hoping everyone's wishes are granted today & tommorow . . . why not? It's just good karma, I suppose, and since I'm a sucker for this time of year anyway, I hope everyone has just as good a time as I do.

This QHF will be short, however, because this week I've been hungover from 3 days straight of late nights with my Irish friend, been subjected to a 3.5 hour job interview by a large corporation that everyone has heard of, traveled many miles in the car, worked on my grandparent's farm to get them firewood and haul away their burn barrel trash, and somewhere in between, wrapped presents and tried to relax.

So, I have been mostly out of the loop on Hollywood shenanigans as well as the world in general, but we'll take a look at the hard stories of the week anyway:

Carrie Underwood got engaged to Ottawa Senators hockey player Mike Fisher, her publicist said Monday.

"The couple couldn't be happier," said publicist Jessie Schmidt. No wedding date has been set for the couple, who have been dating for about a year.

Underwood made the decision to marry this particular hockey player because he was the only one who still boasted an entire set of his natural teeth.

Reports made the rounds this week that Catherine Zeta-Jones slightly flashed her nipples during a recent performance of her Broadway hit “A Little Night Music.”

Multiple tabloid report claimed that Zeta-Jones accidentally flashed a nipple during her performance at the Walter Kerr Theatre in New York. The rumored wardrobe malfunction occurred in a scene where Zeta-Jones reunites with a long-lost lover and then peels open her kimono to “show him what he’s been missing,” according to The New York Post report.

A shocked fan on the left side of the orchestra stated that they indeed did see Zeta-Jones’ boobs: “I couldn’t believe it. No wonder Michael Douglas looks so happy. The couple sitting next to me also saw it and poked each other.”

A spokesman for Zeta-Jones insisted that the reports are false, and that Zeta-Jones is never actually naked and wears a body stocking throughout the whole play.

Regardless, ticket sales are sold out for the show for the next several months with tickets on the left-side being sold at a premium on Ebay and Craig's List.

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins have broken up after more than two decades together, PEOPLE reported this week.

"Actress Susan Sarandon and her partner of 23 years, actor Tim Robbins have announced that they separated over the summer," her rep Teal Cannaday tells PEOPLE in a statement. "No further comments will be made."

Rumors about the break-up are circulating that the tension was due to Sarandon's wanting to donate money to ACORN while Robbins felt the ACLU was more deserving, and apparently, no compromise could be reached.

Steven Tyler has entered a rehabilitation facility to treat an addiction to painkillers the Aerosmith frontman has taken to cope with 10 years of performance injuries.

Tyler said he's eager to return to work with his band mates.

"I love Aerosmith; I love performing as the lead singer in Aerosmith. I am grateful for all of the support and love I am receiving and am committed to getting things taken care of," the 61-year-old rocker said in a statement released Tuesday.

To treat the pain, doctors recommend that Tyler stop listening to Aerosmith records immediately.

As always, let's end with a gold image or three:

I figure a little snow and a lot of nudity is always good for the holiday season. So, enjoy any flakes that fall to the ground, crank up the heat and shed some clothing and . . . Happy Early Christmas Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone.}

{Editor's Note: RIP Brittany Murphy}

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2009-12-18T08:33:00.000-05:00

“Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!” – Zach Galifianakis, “The Hangover”

I liked ‘The Hangover’ quite a bit even if I didn’t (and still don’t) think it’s an all-time comedy classic. But it’s definitely worth a rental if you missed it in the theaters as it’s got a dangerously funny and funky vibe, thanks largely to the presence of Galifiankis who provides the most laughs of any of the cast members.

Oh well, I’ll probably be sporting a few hangovers of my own this weekend as my best friend from Ireland is in town with his wife and they are staying at the loft. We’ll run around Austin today and then head down near San Antonio to hear Robert Earl Keen at Floores Country Store tomorrow night.

But before I leave the office by 3 p.m. to meet them at a downtown watering hole, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

In Tiger Woods news, it was rumored this week that Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren are headed for an imminent split that will likely be permanent.

This speculation was based on recent photos of Elin that were taken without her wedding and engagement rings and this was assumed to mean that she was sending a public message that the breakup is coming sooner rather than later.

“She knew what she was doing when she stepped out and pumped gas without her wedding rings,” said one source. “There are plenty of people who would have filled the tank for her so she wouldn’t even have to be photographed. She chose not to go down that road. Moreover, she chose to make it clear those rings were not on her. No hands shoved in pockets, no hiding."

Another source said that Tiger has a long road ahead if he wants forgiveness saying: "Tiger’s got a long way to go to make things right, and have the kind of family he was fond of talking about. He’s going to have to play by Elin’s rules now. Forgiveness isn’t exactly around the corner.”

Forgiveness might not be around the corner, however, a revamped pre-nuptial agreement that grants Elin a lot more money if she stays married to Tiger certainly is, so I wouldn’t consider this marriage over quite yet.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have split, according to Us Weekly, as the magazine claims Gyllenhaal’s pushing for marriage led to their parting.

“She felt pressured to wed again — but she wasn’t ready,” a source told the mag. “She couldn’t give Jake enough, and she got cold feet,” the source added. “From the beginning, Jake wanted all of her, and she knew he deserved someone who could give him that. He wanted to be together at all times, and it became a lot for her to juggle with work and the kids. When it comes down to it, she isn’t ready to get married and he is.”

So far, the break-up has proven to be ever bit as enthralling as their coupling.

Reality television star Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to a baby boy Monday.

Mason Dash Disick was born in Los Angeles, and is the first child for Kardashian, 30, and her boyfriend, Scott Disick, 26. Kourtney is the oldest of the three Kardashian sisters who appear on the E! network show "Keeping Up With the Kardashians."

The baby is doing well, but Kourtney won’t stop crying because she knows that being pregnant out of wedlock was the only way most people could identify her among her other two sisters – one of which is famous for being married to a Los Angeles Laker basketball player and the other for having a giant ass.

Singer Chris Brown attacked Wal Mart for allegedly not stocking his new CD – Graffiti - on his Twitter account this week, and then later shut down his Twitter account, possibly for good.

Brown wrote on Twitter: “Just was at Walmart in Wallingford CT, 844 north colony. The[y] didn’t even have my album in the back … not on shelves, saw for myself,” he wrote.

According to a Walmart employee, the store was actually sold out of his albums.

“All Walmart stores nationwide have carried the CD since its release, including the Wallingford, [Conn.], store mentioned in the post. This store actually sold through its initial shipment over the weekend. The majority of our stores today are showing they do have copies available. We are surprised at the comments online,” said Walmart in a statement.

Apparently, Brown had added stupidity to his recent resume that also includes domestic violence – a truly wonderful combination for any human being.

Rock star Courtney Love lost custody over her daughter Frances Bean Cobain this week, and a restraining order was also granted while two legal guardians were appointed to care for Love's 17-year-old daughter that she had with the deceased Nirvana front man, Kurt Cobain.

According to legal documents originally obtained by TMZ.com, the court has appointed Kurt Cobain's mother, Wendy O'Connor, and his sister, Kimberly Dawn Cobain, to watch over the minor.

The restraining order may have something to do with Love’s decision to attack her daughter on Facebook. “I hate to sound cold but any kid of mine who pulls this (bleep) has lost her position,” Love wrote. “She was deceptive, she lied and she’s lying to herself . . . My daughter is not always honest.”

The judge claimed that his decision to invoke the restraining order was largely based on Frances Bean's choice to un-friend her mother on Facebook.

Kate Hudson and Yankee Alex Rodriguez have reportedly split up, according to various sources this week.

HollywoodLife.com reported Monday that Rodriguez had a wild party weekend in Miami, schmoozing with models and female fans and "acting single."

US Magazine also has sources supposedly confirming the rift, saying Hudson's thirst for publicity surrounding the relationship has driven A-Rod away.

"Alex wanted someone who was more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile," the insider said.

Meanwhile, Hudson claimed she wanted to date someone whose testicles weren’t shriveled from steroid use, which I found somewhat petty on her part.

Toby Keith found controversy this week as several Asian campaign groups criticized the singer for allegedly making a "racist hand gesture" at a Nobel Peace Prize party in Norway.

The singer was in Oslo, Norway to see Barack Obama given the Nobel prize, and after the ceremony, he joined actor Will Smith and musician Wyclef Jean for an impromptu rap performance at an after party. The trio sang “Rapper’s Delight” by the Sugarhill Gang, and footage from the event surfaced online this week that supposedly showed Keith pulling back one of his eyes when Smith rapped the word "yellow."

A spokesperson for the Asian American Justice Center said: “Toby Keith embarrassed himself and his country, denigrated the Noble Peace Prize and offended Asians and Asian Americans by using a crude, racist hand gesture." While a rep for the Media Action Network for Asians adds, "By doing this, he is telling his Asian fans 'you don't matter, you're not on my radar.'"

While I don’t think that making such a gesture is appropriate in any way, shape or form, I also can’t imagine that Asian Americans make up a high percentage of people who buy Toby Keith's albums.

{Editor’s Note: I’m not entirely sure who buys them.}

Lindsay Lohan's father – Michael Lohan – was arrested and charged with criminal contempt this week for allegedly violating an order of protection.

Suffolk County police say Michael Lohan was arrested Monday on the misdemeanor charge. His attorney did not immediately return a call for comment.

While Lindsay Lohan might no longer be able to get arrested in this town, her Dad obviously has that angle covered.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

A little Black and White seemed like a healthy antidote for all the green and red holiday decorations. So, don’t be afraid to go against the curve today, stand or sit in the best lighting possible and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2009-12-11T09:20:00.000-05:00

“We’re having too good a time today. We ain’t thinking about tomorrow,” – Johnny Depp, “Public Enemies”

This was a great line in a very good – though only infrequently great – movie. I’m actually thinking about today and tomorrow as this is the last semi-free weekend I have before the holidays kick into overdrive and it turns into a flat-out sprint until 2010.

So, before I flee the office before 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such:

Most stories seemed to revolve around Tiger Woods and his bevy of alleged mistresses which came out of the woodwork this week. It was hard to keep it all straight as among others, a porn star and a pancake house waitress claimed they have been with the golf star, bringing the tally to at least 9 women who claim some form of association.

Tabloids named porn star Holly Sampson and pancake waitress Mindy Lawton as two of the names on Tiger's steamy scorecard, raising the question of how Woods would have been able to keep so many affairs secret for so long.

My main question right now is how did Woods ever find time to practice golf between trysts? He must drink a lot of Gatorade to replenish his fluid levels . . .

In other Tiger Woods news, Barbro Holmberg, the mother of Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, was rushed to the hospital Tuesday morning with stomach pains following a 911 call while she was staying at Wood’s home.

According to Orlando's WESH, Holmberg initially refused transport, then was rushed to the hospital "on advanced life support." Homberg was later released after treatment.

I’m not a public relations expert, however, poisoning your mother-in-law is probably not the best way to deflect media attention for Tiger right now.

Finally, rumors surfaced this week that nude photos of Tiger Woods exist, and certain media outlets - Playgirl among the leading ones - plan to publish them in the future.

"We were approached by a third party who wanted to know our 'interest level," Daniel Nardicio, Playgirl spokesman, claims in several published reports. "Our lawyers are currently going over them, the source, the entire package."

But TMZ.com reports that Tiger Woods' lawyers in Britain have secured a court order barring British publications from printing said naked pictures or videos of the golfer. The order was issued by the High Court of London, and the letter stresses that the order is not an "admission that any such photographs exist."

If they do exist, then I guess the world will soon know whether Tiger is swinging a 3 Wood or a Putter down below. Ouch.

(Editor's Note: The above doesn't entirely work, but again, I'm exhausting all my golfing jokes with this continuing story.}

In other sports news, Tom Brady and Gisele Bunchden welcomed a baby boy to their household this week, according to People magazine.

The couple have yet to pick a name, but everyone involved is happy. "I don't have any picks, so we haven't really chosen one yet," Brady, 32, said Wednesday of their new arrival. "But everyone is great. Everyone is doing really well."

I guess no name at all is better than the bizarre and embarassing monikors that most celebrities give their offspring, but then again, if you're a boy with a star quarterback and a supermodel for parents, your name could be Assclown Dipshit Brady and you'd still be a hit with the girls.

Prosecutors charged two people this week with threatening to sell photos of actor John Stamos unless he paid them $680,000.

Stamos' spokesman Matt Polk said there was nothing embarrassing about the images. "At the conclusion of the investigation and hearing, the photos will be available and the public will be able to see that the photos are simply John posing with fans," Polk said.

The extortionists were apparently too dumb to realize that A) No pictures of Stamos could be more embarrassing than his awesomely coiffed mullet from his ‘Full House’ days and B) Stamos doesn’t currently have $680,000 to pay out unless ‘Full House’ syndication revenues are a lot higher than I realize.

Nicolas Cage’s ex-girlfriend sued the actor this week for “mental, physical and emotional abuse” after he allegedly threw her out of her house.

Christina Fulton claims Cage bought her a house in 2001, but when she went to sell it this year, she learned that Cage had never transferred title, TMZ.com reports. In September, the Hollywood heavy served her with a 60-day notice to vacate the premises, said Fulton.

Fulton did not specify in the lawsuit what Cage did to justify her claims of “mental, physical and emotional abuse.”

My bet is that he tied her to a chair and forced her to watch ‘Ghost Rider’ on an endless loop until she vacated the house to escape the pain.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

I can think of a few ribbons I’d like to unwrap even though Christmas remains a few weeks away. Nonetheless, try to show restraint today, make sure your knickers match and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

Bathing With The Drunken Viking: Holiday Edition . . .

2009-12-08T09:35:00.002-05:00

{This is the 32nd entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits. This past weekend, I ploughed through a holiday birthday bash during the Big 12 Championship game where the Shiner Bock was flowing freely, which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}

• Kay Jeweler’s boasts the cheesiest holiday commercials by far each and every year

• You can never have too many Christmas lights around your place.

• Don’t be the person who gives the awkwardly long hugs at holiday gatherings – it’s just creepy for everyone involved

• Be done with your shopping by Dec. 15th – except for the inevitable last minute emergencies - or you will pay the price

• Don’t be the guy wearing the Santa hat to the party unless the full outfit is included with it

• Never get behind anyone older than 65 when checking out with your gifts because this age bracket still writes checks to pay for things

• Stop giving knick-knack gifts to people – everyone has too many of those things already

• When you have multiple party invitations, always finish with the one closest to where you live so your drive home is shorter

• Never use someone else’s joke at a holiday party if the originator is also on the guest list

• Never drink more than 1 cup of eggnog at any party.

• Some combination of Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story and Scrooged should be watched during the month of December

• Never consume more than 3 drinks at your company holiday party unless you want terrible stories to circulate about you and the office intern following the bash

• “You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin

-BDS

Quick Hit Friday . . .

2009-12-04T09:00:00.001-05:00

“She was an ass-model... she did jeans and uh you know, magazines and shit. Anyway, it was fashion week in New York and uh... I took her to Iceland.,” John Travolta, “Taking of Pelham 1 2 3”

I often day-dream about having the means and the manners to someday squire an ass-model off to Iceland for a weekend of partying. Alas, that will not happen this weekend as I have a birthday party at my loft planned for my brother, and there is a lot to do for that. Besides, ass-models are a handful anyway.

But before I leave the office by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Tiger Woods crashed his car after backing out of his driveway near his Florida home this past weekend as he was leaving in the early morning hours and hit a fire hydrant and then a tree.

Just days before that crash, the National Enquirer claimed that the golfer had been carrying on a romance with the New York nightclub manager, and after the accident, rumors swirled that Woods's wife, Elin, had argued with Woods about an affair just before the accident and that she had caused the scratches police found on his face.

Clear as mud?

The nightclub manager came out and denied the affair a few days later saying:

“I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]," Rachel Uchitel told E! News.
"Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine, but they're not."

Woods denied "the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors."

Woods might be able to hit a Driver on the golf course, but if the crash proved anything, it’s that he is a terrible Driver in real life.

In a related story, after first denying the "the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors,” Tiger Woods issued a statement Wednesday apologizing for his transgressions following a new story by US Weekly which reported that a Los Angeles cocktail waitress claimed she had a 31-month affair with the world's No. 1 golfer.

"I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves," Woods said on his Web site. "I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone."

It appears that Woods is having a ‘Rough’ time of things and that while ‘Hooking’ up with that waitress may have been a ‘Slice’ of heaven, his wife might now be looking for a ‘Fair Way’ to divide out his assets.

{Editor’s Note: That last line exhausts all my golfing knowledge.}

David Hasselhoff was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center this week under involuntary psychiatric hold, RadarOnline.com reported.

Hasselhoff was taken by ambulance to the hospital, and released a few days later. The former “Baywatch” actor had allegedly been drinking a large amount of alcohol before his hospitalization, and he was picked up under the California Welfare and Institutions Code 5150 that allows authorities to take into custody persons they believe may be a danger to themselves or others, are gravely disabled or suffer from a mental disorder.

Hasselhoff has denied the rumors.

These Hasselhoff drinking stories are no longer funny. If you want funny, however, go watch ‘Baywatch Nights.’

Despite multiple break-up reports this week, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are still very much a couple, according to their reps.

Nanci Ryder and Carrie Byalick, who rep Witherspoon and Gyllenhaal respectively, tell PEOPLE, "They are still together."

Ryder and Bvalick later added: “And as boring as ever.”

Kevin Federline cancelled a planned radio appearance in Australia this week after disapproving of the way it had been promoted.

The former back-up dancer and ex-husband of Britney Spears was expected to co-host the Kyle and Jackie-O Show in Sydney with radio executives advertising the guest stint online by posting audio clips from his last interview on the station, earlier in November, which featured a caption stating: . "Hear (Federline) confess that he's not ruling out getting back together with Britney!"

The marketing apparently infuriated Federline and he pulled out of the presenting slot at the last minute, citing the radio bosses' "unprofessional" behavior for the cancellation, reports TheCelebrityTruth.com. His publicist said: "The headline was completely out of context with the interview and Kevin is not getting back with Britney, so he said, "F**k them, I'm not going to do their show."

In response, the radio station began airing a new caption stating: "Hear (Federline) confess that he's a complete dumbass who still doesn't realize he's only marginally famous for once being married to Britney Spears."

A video of Marilyn Monroe allegedly smoking marijuana as made public this week, nearly 50 years after it was filmed.

The film was recently bought for $275,000 by US collector Keya Morgan, who is making a documentary on the death of Monroe in August 1962 The original video was residing in an attic in New Jersey where the person who filmed it said it was taken at an informal gathering in 1958 or 1959. At one point in the film, Marilyn points her nose toward her armpit and laughs.

The original film-maker - who has asked for anonymity - said the cigarette in the footage contained marijuana.

"I got it - it was mine. It was just passed around," he/she said.

The video ends with Monroe laughing wildly and yelling into an empty parking lot: “Why hasn’t Taco Bell been invented yet dammit.”

Alec Baldwin told ‘Men’s Journal’ in an interview for its December issue that he has lost interest in acting.

"I don't have any interest in acting anymore," Baldwin, 51, told the magazine. He also added: "Movies are a part of my past. It's been 30 years. I'm not young, but I have time to do something else".

The rest of the Baldwin brothers – Stephen, William and Daniel - immediately began auditioning to replace Alec, however, they quickly discovered that the viewing public doesn’t have any interest in them acting anymore.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

In honor of John “Ass Man” Travolta, I chose to honor his obsession today. So, squeeze those glutes together, crack a walnut or two with them if you can and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS