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The Greatest Sex Around Part 9 . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, September 05, 2007

{This is the ninth in a semi-regular series of posts regarding great cinematic sex scenes as defined by me. This is completely arbitrary and open for interpretation, but so is life.}

Like the majority of Oliver Stone's atrocious film, "Alexander," the sex scene between Colin Farrell and Rosario Dawson is unintentionally hilarious, overwrought and yet still vaguely entertaining.


This film looked good on paper with a cast including Val Kilmer (sporting one-eye and yelling a lot), Angelina Jolie (displaying a bizarre Transylvanian accent for no apparent reason) and Anthony Hopkins (collecting a paycheck) along with Dawson and Farell, yet the acting is nearly as bad as Farrell's putrid dye job, an oversight that left Alexander the Great looking like he dipped his head into orange Kool-Aid.


But let's not distract from the sex scene, which earned a place among the elite due to its sheer entertainment value rather than the erotic qualities, which are minimal.

Even Dawson's curvy body and nudity couldn't save this one, however, as the mood is irrevocably altered when the pair start making growling noises at each other. I realize they are supposed to be imitating animal passions or something like that, but it doesn't work.


Instead, all the growling and scratching leads to more laughs than anything else. It also doesn't help Alexander's case for world domination that it appears that Dawson could have torn him limb from limb in this scene as Farrell lacks a commanding presence both on the battlefield and in the bedroom.

In the context of the overall film, this scene fits nicely among many others of questionable talent and skill, but for the purposes of this series, it earns a place among the all-time greats for being infamous rather than great.

-BDS

13 comments

  1. Miss Ash Says:
  2. I saw this film on a date LOL. We were supposed to go and see Closer but got eerrrr ummmm distracted beforehand and had to see this film as the other had already started.

     
  3. JLee Says:
  4. Would you say it's better or worse than the "Showgirls" sex scene? haha

     
  5. Miss Ash - Obviously you got Closer to something/one. Ha. And you should rent Closer if you never saw it as Alexander is a poor substitute.

    Jlee - That's a tough call. Maybe slightly better because I find Rosario Dawson sexier than Elizabeth Berkley.

     
  6. Jenny Says:
  7. A.Hopkins has been just collecting a paycheck for about the last ten years. I avoided this movie, but your "review" has sparked an interest.... btw, saw SUPER BAD.... LOVED it.

     
  8. Anonymous Says:
  9. I couldn't get that far into the movie. I thought the movie was really, really bad right from the get go.

     
  10. Anonymous Boxer - I know what you mean about Hopkins, and it's really too bad because he's a good actor. As for Superbad, I'm glad you liked it, and remember that the next time I recommend something that you hate. Ha.

    WhatIgot - I'm with you as I think I made it roughly 90 minutes into this one before throwing in the towel.

     
  11. I like the typical Bad Boy as much as the next wishful middle-aged woman, but there's something icky/dirty about Colin Farrell.

     
  12. Great series! Looks like I've got some movies to check out.

     
  13. Wendy - Farrell seems like a fun person to have a pint with, but he's pretty awful in this film. That being said, he was pretty excellent in Miami Vice where sported a mean handlebar mustache.

    Stephanie - Thanks and you can backtrack for more recommendations - or ones to avoid.

     
  14. vivavavoom Says:
  15. yeah....no desire to see this one

     
  16. Good choice.

     
  17. Linda Says:
  18. When I started to read this post, my mind wandered to another so-so epic, Troy. I guess I was more impressed by Pitt's thighs,(appreciate you boys who go to the gym)in that film's sex scenes, than Farrell, who I usually go for. Hoties like these two, deserve better!

     
  19. I agree that Troy was only OK, but it was far superior to Alexander. I think Eric Bana was damn good in Troy.

     

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